Male nurses caring for female patients

Ladies I was wondering how many of you had a male nurse caring for you while you were in hospital, and did you perfer him to a female after the initial shock.

Great question RN! Karma for you. I have indeed had a male nurse, in two situations. The initial one was when I was admitted to the med/surg floor for the amputation of my right leg. The nurse I had for three weeks was male and he was wonderful. He was fast, capable, efficient, and above all, gentle and supportive. In other words, everything that a nurse should be. I prefer to be one of those patients that isn't a bother and doesn't cause trouble for the nursing staff, but I had a catheter and was forced to use a bedpan, etc. That was mortifying to me, but he said "If I didn't have this to do, I wouldn't have a job, don't worry about it." Because I was admitted for almost three weeks, he got permission to take me outside a few times, and he also alerted the doctor to my depression and persuaded my doc to give permission for my friends to bring my dog (a certified therapy dog) to visit with me. If there was a Nobel prize for nursing, he should be nominated.

The second male nurse that I had was at the rehab center I went to for two weeks after my surgery. He was one of the night shift nurses and was just an excellent caretaker. Come to think of it, there's also a male LPN at my doctor's office that does all the phlebotomy and lab work. He's great too, I have those "mobile" veins that like to run and hide, and he's never missed a stick, and never hurt me.

I can't swear to it, but I think all three of these gentlemen (for that is truly what they are) received their training through their service in the military. Hats off to all three, and to all the male nurses out there that provide excellent patient care and support. You don't get recognized enough for all that you do.

Play On!

LadyDoc

When I had an appendectomy (over 20yrs ago now), I had a male nurse.

I can't say I was shocked, as he was there when I got back to my room after surgery and well, one is still pretty groggy and in pain at that point and I was just glad there was someone there to take care of me.

I do remember getting a back rub from him and wishing I wasn't hurting quite so much, so I could of enjoyed it more.

Competency, demeanor and understanding will always override gender, but I don't think I would ever mind finding a male nurse at my bedside. 😃

Thanks ladydocisin and mima57 for your incisive replies. I was hoping that it would generate more of a discussion around the likes of why some women make such a large distinction between a male doctor versus a male nurse. In discussion with some female friends it seems that some have no problem while others think it’s very odd that a man would choose to be a nurse and thus think that there is an ulterior motive i.e. he wants to see women naked.

However if they have had a male nurse they found them more caring and understanding than some of their female counterparts.

I've had the same sort of impression, RN. The feeling that it's an 'odd' thing for a man to do must have its roots in the fact that, even now, it's regarded as unusual for a man to be in that job. Say 'nurse' and what vision would most people conjure up? I guess that, like me, you've found that men also tend to hold that view.

Many years ago, a female friend of mine was in hospital for an appendectomy. A male nurse informed her that her pubic hair needed to be removed and that he was going to shave her. She refused to allow him to do it. She had not been admitted as an emergency, and was perfectly capable of doing it herself, and duly did so. It made her a bit suspicious and she felt, understandably, that she should have been asked whether she wanted him to do it, not be told she was having it done. She was only 16 at the time and, from what I gathered, preferred female doctors unless she was being examined by her own male GP.

40 odd years ago and more, women doctors (in the UK anyway) were in a minority, now I think it's about 50/50 with men.

I've no idea what the gender ratio for nurses is, but I guess it's very different.

Last year when I took my wife to emergency for what later turned to be a bad case of ulcers, they ran an ekg first to rule out heart attack. A male nurse did the ekg, and of course, we all know where the electrodes go and yes, she was naked from the waist up.

These female friends of yours, RN, or anyone who thinks men become nurses to see naked women, have a kind of rotten opinion of men and little understanding of nursing care and the education involved. They must also see all nudity as sexual - also a skewed way of thinking, imo.

I do hope any one who thinks a male nurse might not be as professional or caring as a female, is happily surprised to have their attitude and thinking changed. If only to learn not to judge a book by its cover or a nurse by their genitalia.

Dr. Experiment - was your wife uncomfortable with or think it strange to have a male nurse?

Just looking again at my own post, I realise I should have said, in the interests of fairness and clarity, that whilst I totally agreed with my friend's complaint about her experience, I would have felt the same (and so would she) if the genders had been reversed and she'd have been approached like that by a female nurse. If I'd been in her place, I would have wanted to be given the choice of shaving myself and not virtually had it imposed on me, and would have been annoyed to have been treated that way. To be lighthearted for a minute; no prizes for guessing which way I'd have jumped, but I should be so lucky! The serious thing is that, though such a scenario would be fine for us medfets, a nurse would have to be a mindreader to know that's what you'd want.

I'm sure a century ago, when women were trying to break into the medical profession as doctors, many people (men and women) would have thought the world was going upside down.

Again, in the interest of balance, I'd point out that I have heard a lot of women pass the opinion that it's 'strange', 'a bit funny', etc. for a man to be a nurse.

As for whether a man would go into the job solely to satisfy the motives mentioned, one would have to concede that that is possible: at the same time, though, it must surely be acknowledged that a woman might also do that.

I had a male nurse when I was in the hospital over night with tachycardia and PVCs one time. He really was able to calm me down and make me feel better. He kept me laughing throughout the night. 😃 I actually much preferred it over having a female nurse! He was just so gentle and reassuring!

I must say that i have been very fortunate in my in my professional life when caring for females patients. I have only had 3 occasions in which a female patient has requested a female nurse for whatever reason, as is their right. I fully endorsed their decision and take no offense by it , as I firmly believe everyone has the right to feel secure, comfortable and relaxed with their care provider.

I have also experienced those that were unsure ( and you can tell from their non-verbal body language) at first about the situation, and by the end of the shift were very relaxed and requested that i care for them the next time i was on. As well as those you genuinely prefer a male looking after and caring for them for one reason or another.

I firmly believe is the manner how you interact with them how fast, capable, efficient, and above all, gentle, supportive and reassuring you are as well as your ability to make them laugh and relax as Brooklyn stated. There will always be a bit of awkwardness at the beginning with regards to the exposure and nudity. I don't believe that you have to "leave you dignity at the door", exposure and nudity can be handled in a dignified manner.

When I was in the hospital a few years ago and had to have surgery, I had a male nurse who took care of me, he was really nice and friendly, it doesn't matter to me if the nurses are male or female as long as they are nice to me and respectful

American society still expects nurses to be female. Only about 5% of RN's are men and some hospitals limit what they are allowed to do with female patients.

In the U.S., "Only about 5% of RN's are men"

I wonder what country has the most balanced ratio.

In high school I had a female friend who broke her back in a diving accident. She was in a body cast of several months and she told me that her favorite care giver was a male nurse who treated her with respect and great kindness. She soon got over being shy and embarrassed to be bathed or exposed to her male nurse. He never did anything inappropriate and even taught her to use tampons vice Kotex. She was asked by doctors if she would prefer a female nurse and she said no. Even after her release she kept in touch with her male nurse.

Was assigned a wonderful, caring, compassionate male nurse after surgery. Vernice, very open and candid. Would love to have him at any time of need.

I have been a nurse for a long time and I often work with the older folks. Many of them are funny about males taking care of them or and I mean no offense, but it is what it is, but also African Americans. Personally for the elderly I can understand them feeling that way about both males and African Americans. It is the way they were raised and or in a time in this country when there was still a huge separation between blacks and whites. I can't blame them for that. Now however with the younger side of the baby boomers and on down I am still a little tolerant of women refusing male nurses, but am highly offended when they don't want a nurse male or female because they are black. I am white, as a matter of fact I am the whitest white woman you will ever meet, but I still have no tolerance for that sort of behavior from people who grew up in a time when color didn't matter.

Now personally speaking if I'm needing to be taken care of and if I had my way about things I would pick ALL men to take care of me. I feel more comfortable around men and always have. It might be because I grew up with 2 brothers, who knows. But I just am, and all of my doctors are also men. I have been to a few female health providers and I never go back.

Without getting into the whole gay debate here, men and women are the natural order of things most of the time, and I stress the most of the time part. See when men walk into a room where there are other men it's their nature to automatically sum up the "competition", meaning the other men. Most of you probably don't even realize it but you do. Again, it's human nature. You guys instantly spot the others in the room who may be a threat, stronger, smarter etc. It's called the human factor and is exactly why our race has survived. Women in their own way do the exact same thing. When we walk into a room we scope out the competition too. We in just a few seconds know who's prettier, who our competition is and who are alphas and who are not.

When I come face to face with another woman I can tell in about 2 seconds if she is stronger, weaker, or my equal. If I am in a medical setting I seldom encounter someone who is stronger, once in a while is my equal but usually they are weaker. I don't want any of them to take care of me. No weak ones because I will just bowl right over them which isn't whats best for me in a medical setting. One who is equal is my best option because I can relate and don't feel like I need to take her by the hand, and don't feel like she's looking down on me. And never would allow one who was actually stronger then me either because as soon as I know she is then she is my enemy, lol. Not really but there becomes a challenge for the top spot. Even if we don't realize it or that we are doing it, again, it's just human nature.

Now, when it comes to men taking care of me in a medical setting it's a whole different story. There isn't any and I mean NONE of the above mentioned feelings like I have with women. When I have a man taking care of me I actually feel safer, more calm and comfortable with everything. I just feel like I'm getting better taken care of. And I don't ever feel weird about men seeing my body in a medical setting. Outside of a medical setting it's an entirely different story. I've had two kids by c-section, I'm about a month away from being 45. I am no supermodel, not even close. But in a medical setting whether it's men or women nurses or medical professionals we really don't care what your body looks like because we really don't want to see you naked. Even if you are a super model we still don't want to see you naked in a medical setting. Why you ask, well that's because if you are in a medical setting where you need to be taken care of obviously something on you needs taken care of, and at that point the attractiveness factor flies out the window.

I always explain it like this, a mechanic can look at a million dollar car and salivate over her beauty, her sleek lines, her flawless form, but when that same car gets smashed up in an accident that same mechanic no longer sees the beauty in that car. He sees something that can be beautiful again once he fixes her back up. But in the moment he sees only whats wrong and his mind is focused on how he's going to fix her back up again.

We medical professionals are exactly the same way. On the outside we enjoy looking at a well toned, flawless body of either sex just as much as you laymen, but like the mechanic when that same hot body comes to us we no longer see that same hot body we saw on the outside. Now all we see is something that is broken and needs to be fixed. Our minds couldn't be further from sexual thoughts. We are just summing up what's broken, what needs fixed, and how we are going to go about fixing it.

Mashie

Your comment about nurses being inured to nudity is well put, Mashie. When a nurse insisted I pull my pants all the way down for an injection, she commented, "No need for embarrassment; I've seen it all before".

Nick

Someone on a phone sex line told me she has a male gyno with a male assistant. i do not believe any gyno would hire a male nurse. how would they get any business? but i did see on the healthcare site about an all girls college in my city that the doctor was an old man and he has a male assistant. that seems hard to believe too.

someone on a phone sex line told me she has a male gyno with a male assistant. i do not believe any gyno would hire a male nurse. how would they get any business? but i did see on the healthcare site about an all girls college in my city that the doctor was an old man and he has a male assistant. that seems hard to believe too.

Mark,

I have always had male physicians, including GYN has always been male (I have had 3 different GYN's). Some of them have had male nurses, techs, MA's etc. If my GYN had a male nurse, MA, tech etc, I would not have any issue with it.

I have always had exceptional medical care from both men and women. I prefer my medical care to be given by men. I request men to provide it if possible. However, if one of the available women working are better qualified to meet the needs for my care, I gladly accept the care given by the said woman. It would be stupid and irresponsible of me to not do so.

This has become an interesting thread. I particularly like Mashie's post because I think it explains alot, especially as it relates to age differences. Folks my age were growing up at a time in the US when almost all of the physicians were male and almost all of the nurses were female. When I worked my way through college in a big city OR, I knew one female surgeon (a gynecologist) and one male nurse, who actually worked on the women's floor (yes, floors were separated by sex in that hospital)).

I also think that some of the differences stem from the publicity about sexual misconduct (not that it didn't happen back then) in this instant news cycle. When I was working, men expected to be seen in various stages of undress by female nurse and women by male physicians. Today, with a choice, it depends more on one's comfort level.

As I have stated in a prior post, for me, the primary issue is the competence of the practitioner, not his or her sex.

I stayed out of th Fe pelvic and breast area unless it was a life/death situation. It was always professional while at work. When you have a fe with severe vag bleeding due to a miscarriage and the woman is getting shocky, it's all about the IV, fluids, blood etc. Did have a fe who did not want me to give her a shot in the glute, no issue for me, but back in the mid 70s when she was at home and terminal, we set up a program from the hospital where I worked, to give her IM meds for pain. She had no issue with me going to her home to give the med. it was a sad case of terminal breast Ca. Medicine and nursing care has progressed through the ages.

Mark Gosset you said:

someone on a phone sex line told me she has a male gyno with a male assistant. i do not believe any gyno would hire a male nurse. how would they get any business? but i did see on the healthcare site about an all girls college in my city that the doctor was an old man and he has a male assistant. that seems hard to believe too.

It is most likely the male assistant was actually a Physician Assistant , many offices in the US have them. Physician assistants, also known as PAs, practice medicine on a team under the supervision of physicians and surgeons. They typically obtain medical histories, perform examinations and procedures, order treatments, diagnose diseases, prescribe medication, order and interpret diagnostic tests, refer patients to specialists as required, and first or second-assist in surgery. So I'm not surprised that they work in the field of gynecology or General Practice .

I worked on gynecology as a student nurse for 6 months during my training, also worked in Antenatal, Labour and Delivery and Postnatal . My first staff nurse position was on a 32 bedded female General Medical ward, with patients from 17 to 65 years and I was not the only male staff Nurse. In my present post on an ITU ( ICU ) I frequently look after female patients ranging from 14 to 90 years , there are 6 other male nurses that work there.

As I have said before I have been very fortunate in my in my professional life when caring for females patients. I have only had 3 occasions (in 25 years) in which a female patient has requested a female nurse for whatever reason, as is their right. I fully endorsed their decision and take no offense by it , as I firmly believe everyone has the right to feel secure, comfortable and relaxed with their care provider.

As Andie said some women prefer men, be they doctors, nurses, PAs, techs etc.

I have always had male physicians, including GYN has always been male (I have had 3 different GYN's). Some of them have had male nurses, techs, MA's etc. If my GYN had a male nurse, MA, tech etc, I would not have any issue with it.

I have always had exceptional medical care from both men and women. I prefer my medical care to be given by men. I request men to provide it if possible. However, if one of the available women working are better qualified to meet the needs for my care, I gladly accept the care given by the said woman. It would be stupid and irresponsible of me to not do so.

If you did some research into nursing you would see that men have played a pivotal role in nursing and providing care to the sick and injured examples include:

- Benedictine monks

- Crusades and Military Men as Nurses

- Knights Hospitaller . The caretakers of the soldiers were knights who fought during the battles and returned to care for the ill and wounded when the fighting subsided. These men were called knight hospitallers. They found they preferred the role of the nurse and nursing became their profession

- The Knights of Saint John. There were three levels of males participating in the order, Priests, Knights and Brothers .

- The Order of Saint John . The Order of Saint John participated in the organization of the International Red Cross which bears its insignia, the red cross. The members of the order are still practicing nursing in England.

- Francis of Assisi. The third order of saint francis (francis of assisi) was a secular order whose members devoted their time and energy to enhancing the lives of their friends and neighbors in the communities where they lived caring for the sick was one of the order's important activities, with both men and women serving as nurses.

The Industrial Revolution gradually brought forth a more equitable living style for the people. However, it was not without its own growing pains. Capitalists were protected by law in his exploitation of workers. There were child labor and sweatshops where disease and accidents were the norm. Hospitals remained places where the poor went to die. At a time when it was unthinkable that women of good families would work outside the home, and certainly not as a nurse, which was at best, considered to be a domestic; Into this age, Florence Nightingale was born and help to issue in the beginning of the modern era of Nursing

I am in the middle of taking a nursing class as part of my continuing education credits and one of the chapters is on the history of nursing. While I have read many times about that, the hx of nursing I did learn something new this time around that I found quite interesting. Before Florence Nightingale, nursing was not a favorable job to have. It was not a position of honor to be called a nurse, quite the opposite in fact. Florence Nightingale changed that image of nurses into angels of mercy. I will be forever in her debt.

Mashie

Yes, Mashie, it was Florence Nightingale who brought respectability to nursing as a legitimate branch of the medical profession, prior to which nurses had the social status of domestic servants or skilled labourers at best, but the "angel of mercy" image is a bit romantic. Her main gift to medicine was in administration (particularly hygeine) rather than actual treatment so she had to be very tough with her colleagues to make any progress. Those who worked with her often described her as uncompromisingly demanding. You might be pleased to hear that she is one of only four women immortalised by public free-standing statues in London. The other three are all queens (Boudicca, Anne and Victoria), which further distinguishes her as the only commoner woman thus honoured.

Just thought you might be interested.

Nick

I had male nurses when I was in the e.r. a couple of times. Once was when they thought that I could possibly have a pulmonary embolism (It was plursacy-sp?). They nurse (male) came in and started putting ekg leads on me and lifting parts of me out of his way. Another time, also in an e.r., for emergency eye surgery, the nurse there was male and I was rather embarrassed to have him because he was preparing me for surgery, telling me to strip naked, and I had to explain to him I couldn't take my underwear off because it was "that time of the month". I hated having to tell him that, but I wasn't taking them off for all the tea in China while I was on my period! He was nice about everything, but I was still embarrassed! There was a creepy ekg tech, also male, that had to hook me up for that quick one they do, and I didn't like him touching me, but what choice did I have? He just kind of had a leering look and he smelled really bad like cigarettes and he looked like a creeper.

An interesting side note about Male Nurses in the UK.

A record number of male nurses are working in British hospitals. Latest figures show more than one in ten nurses are men, compared with one in a hundred in the earliest days of the NHS more than 50 years ago. Nursing leaders say they expect the figure will double over the next decade as more men than ever choose a profession which was traditionally seen as the preserve of women.

A total of 65,755 nurses - representing 10.21 per cent of the workforce - are male, according to figures from the Nursing and Midwifery Council. Among student nurses, the male to female ratio is already even greater. Fourteen per cent of students on training courses are men.

Men are no longer put off by sexual stereotyping which, since the days of Florence Nightingale, has made nursing a career chiefly for women. Attitudes to male nurses have changed, particularly due to TV programmes like Casualty( Drama set in a hospital's A&E department) The nurse character Charlie Fairhead is a good role model because he is competent and caring but still a man and able to carry off the job stated by Course director Roger Cobley of The University of Central England .

My civil was very sick , so they had to put her in a diaper , just in case,in the emergency department. She told me it had to be changed, I informed the nurses they were both male, I then told her he would be in to change her. My girl replied , he!. I thought to myself, good due to the fact that lady nurses are always treating men.

When I was pregnant with my babies, I was disappointed in the fact that in our area nearly all doctors were male. The one female doctor specializing in delivering babies was swamped with patients. I had to accept whoever I could get an appointment with. I got references and went to the best male doctor I could find. After having male doctors deliver my babies, I became desensitized to being nude and intimately touched by them. After that, a male nurse was nothing to get concerned about.

Later, in a post-surgical ward, I encountered mostly female nurses, but one was a male. I'm envious of those of you who have high praise for your male nurses, because the one I had experience with was a dud.

Nearly all the female nurses who have cared for me were 'angels of mercy', but there was one female nurse who I called 'Nurse Ratched" (after the character in the movie 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.') She was, I'm sure, a psychopath, because she caused me so much unnecessary discomfort and pain, including digging around at length with a needle in the back of my hand to set an I.V. and ultimately saying, "I've got to start all over." Afterward, my hand swelled up so much from fluids not going where they were supposed to that the next shift nurse had to switch the I.V. to my other hand. (Before you think of excuses for her behavior, that's not the only mean thing she did to me.)

No matter whether your nurse is male or female, it's the individual that makes the difference. Nearly always, I'm amazed at the compassion and good cheer of the nurses that cared for me, not to mention their skill and knowledge.

I prefer female nurses, because I believe they are inculcated with a "mothering instinct".

I don't care about the gender of a nurse so long as they're competent and compassionate.