Remembering
It is funny how to those of us that got the special preference at an early age so often recreate the scenes in our mind and actions of the earliest experiences. Even those of us that just hated them then, tend to so often revisit those earliest scenes.
It is amazing to me also the vividness of my recollections and the details that I can remember as if it were just moments ago. Over the years some things have popped up that had no meaning to me as a child but offer a better and clearer picture to me as an adult.
I have come to understand and feel sure that my Mama was a klismo. She liked taking enemas and she liked giving them too. I, even today, can vividly remember the smells, emotions and sensations.
One of the ones I remember most vividly was probably one of the last. In the late night hours I was overcome by a NEED for an enema. I don't mean that I had a tummy ache; I mean that I was rabidly aroused and wanted it. I was maybe 8 at the time and still innocent. I had been masturbating after enemas for a long time and had started doing it at other times as well, but still didn’t understand it as SEX. For a long time I thought that you HAD to get a spanking AND an enema to get those wonderful feelings!!! I had gone solo a few times when they were not at home but it wasn’t the same really. I just knew that night that I desperately wanted her to do it to me.
Finally I gave into my desires and made my way to her bedroom and careful not to awaken my Dad I woke her and told her that my tummy was hurting. She asked if I had tried to go to the bathroom and I assured her that I had. She took me to the bathroom and I sat and watched as she made a full bag of hot and very soapy water for me.
The way my Mama gave enemas was with me sitting on the toilet bent forwards. She would sit on the edge of the tub facing the toilet and after pulling my head down between my knees she would lay over onto me holding me down and in place. The bag was always hung as high as possible and the nozzle still able to reach my butt. The only lubrication was the quick dip into the toilet water before it would be forced into me. Once the clamp was released the enema was allowed to flow nonstop. When I was smaller this had scared me to death. I was sure that I was going to explode!! By age eight I understood that I wouldn’t and would just hold as tight and hard as I could until it wasn’t possible to hold any more.
If this happened to early I would get to experience the joy of the enema continuing while I was spanked with the free hand. The dig douche nozzle would work in and out of my ass. My Mama call this “shaking things up.” If I didn’t hold enough before my first loss of control I got the enema spanking and then when the bag was done she would refill it with even hotter soapy water and do it again. If I had made too big of a scene I would go over her lap before the second enema for a thorough spanking.
I would then be bent over and laid on to hold me there and the nozzle would be pushed in for another try. When I would begin to leak Mama would begin to shake things up and the enema would go to it’s final finish.
By the time of this enema when I was eight I wasn’t afraid and while I still couldn’t take the entire two to two and a half quarts I could hold a lot. I would hold as long as possible and then try to just slowly leak. When Mama would start to shake things up I would squeeze tight and try to make it last as long as possible. That night I did something that I had never done before and ASKED for another one. She didn’t say anything but just pulled the nozzle out and made another bag full while I sat and drained.
I now understand that she found this pleasurable as well. Mama slept in those short nylon gowns and I remember noting that her nipples were poking out. She had large blackberry sized nipples and large breasts so you couldn’t miss that. I also remember their feel pressed against my back as she laid over me and did it to me again.
The water was so hot that I was sweating and by the end I was slightly nauseous. She was done and just pulled the nozzle off the hose and dropped it in the sink as she left me to “do my business.” The door was barely closed before I touched myself and exploded! The sudden gush of hot water burned my tender ass but felt good at the same time!
At age eight I was still a year away from my first ejaculation. The feelings of the orgasm were there full force though and at that time I could do it over and over. I burned as the hot water sprayed from me and just did it over and over until exhausted.
Since Mama didn’t do rinses, the dial soapy enemas were very irritating and took a long time to actually get rid of. This gave me a lot of time to recover and do it again. That night was my first introduction to true lust and the excitement of knowing ahead of time that I was more than just a passive recipient in this. I had planned it and instigated it. I got several enemas after this but I think my Dad figured out that I was getting to much pleasure from them.. By the time I reached nine things changed, suddenly instead of enemas, it was milk of magnesia…SUPER YUCK!! The Bag was always there, hanging beside the toilet though and I USED it. I am sure that my Mama knew but she never said a word. My Dad was always worried that I would turn into a queer. HA, I was a Klismo and totally focused on females but he still worried until I got married I think.
I hid my queer endeavors from him like writing poetry and looking at flowers and art. I learned how not to cry when he beat me. I learned how to fight play football. I grew into a bit of a monster for him. I look back now and realize what a wonderful gift it was that my Mama gave me. I still am not gay but once again I am doing those queer things like writing and doing crafts like beading and flowers… and of course enemas…
All of the above is true and is as it was for me as a child.