Question about Mutual Masturbation

Why is it when I ask my partner to masturbate for me, I feel guilty. Well it's that sort of uncomfortable feeling anyway. I cant describe it.

Also my partner when he has ejaculated he says he feels bad or as though he has done something wrong.

Can anybody help explain these 2 problems to me.

I don't know why you and your partner feel guilty or shy about masturbating each other when you enjoy other activities, but there is such a thing as post coital depression, also known as post coital tristesse, which up to one third of women and 10% of men experience. He may be experiencing this depression. Sometimes, the better the sex, the deeper the post coital depression, but it does go away after a short while.

It could be that because of your age, you just don't feel completely comfortable with your own sexualities yet or it could be normal for you. You shouldn't feel guilty about having him masturbate you or him ejaculating outside your body if you both enjoy other sexual activities and sexual intercourse. You may feel differently after you know each other better/longer and/or have come to grips with your bodies and having orgasms in front of your partner from stimulation other than vaginal or anal penetration.

I'm sure in time you will work it out.

Its a yes but no thing i think . we have been together 6years well sorry married for 6years. but i think on his behalf it could be due to haveing a rough time with unwilling women who was alwasy doing other thengs behind his back i think thats his problem .

but he is 36 and im 22 .

odd couple but in to the same things i guess .

thank you huni for your answer . xXx

We have tried this too. We agreed to a weekend away before now where anything goes except penis into vagina intercourse and we tried mutual masturbation. For us it was odd when you are both giver and reciever at the same time to know which to concentrate on.

Its possible masterbation is viewed as 2nd rate sex so isnt given a fair chance.

Hiya,

You need to be in a comfortable relaxed atmosphere. My bf and I quite often prefer mutual masturbation, we lie side by side and descibe what we are doing, eg "playing with my clitty" or "sliding a finger between my hot lips" while watching each other. We quite often try to time things so that we come together and it is beautiful just as my pussy comes, to feel him spurt over my clitty and lips.Sometimes we have a quickie, but more often we can go for 20 minutes or longer getting more and more aroused.

Sometimes he can't hold on and fires off, but then he devotes his attention to me and describes what he can see and what I am doing to myself,which I find very erotic.

The main thing is to take it gently and just do what feels right at the time 😃

My wife and i watch each other all the time. and if one of us wants sex and one don't we masturbate. my wife has gotten great at it now she puts a vibrator in her ass her self we both like watching each other

I think mutual masturbation is the most natural thing in the world.

When I used to masturbate my wife and felt her nipples, I could tell from her 'body language' how she was responding. When she climaxed it was if she was totally released as she lay panting.

She masturbated me with the same result.

I concentrated on my wifes needs first, and then she to me,

When you both try and reach matual pleasure at the same time it can be difficult to acieve.

@gynoslave - In regard to your original question(s), keep at it. The important thing is having complete openness and honesty with each other. Explain your feelings in detail to each other. There is nothing (that I know of) so intimate and connecting as shared sexual experiences between people who care deeply for each other. I don't understand why you feel guilty or uncomfortable with asking your partner to do something that truly pleases you.

Likewise when he feels bad (or like he's done something 'wrong') when he ejaculates, especially if he finishes before you do. Laugh and share each moment and experience. You'll have many more opportunities to try things and enjoy. Try being creative. I learned, long ago, that there is a LOT more to sex than just 'plain vanilla' missionary position intercourse... such as mutual masturbation. Use you imagination.

With good confidence and feeling it's great to masturbate mutual or each masturbate himself together, i love to see my girl to masturbate and i masturbate myself as i get soo excited.

Few things are as exciting as watching my girl rub her clit and finger her wet pussy until she cums... and she seems to feel the same. She likes to watch me stroke my cock until I cum. Once in a while we time it so that I squirt my cum on her fingers and pussy just as she is reaching orgasm... REALLY f'ing hot!

My wife and i find it erotic to use the juice of the first finisher on the other. all natural and lo calorie. the only down side is sometimes we push too fast to go first, but it adds to the enjoyment of the other. its all warm and slipery.

I have actually done simultaneous masturbation with my lover, long distance on the phone. Very erotic to hear the moans etc. but not see anything. sound is a great arouser for me!

Mutaul masturbation is incredibly erotic. You may have some past teaching from your parents or cultural issues to overcome

@gynoslave,

I would think that's maybe because he did not share at all with you, simply doing it alone, even doing it in front of you.

A physical contact would maybe help, stroking him a bit. Personaly, I have already been asked to do so, and I simply asked to be auscultated while doing it, for sharing the moment.

I sense some religious implications which should be disregarded. I have been fortunate to enjoy some phone mutual masturbation even though I am married. I consider it just masturbation. It is an elevated experience when you can hear the person on the line go through an orgasm. To me it is a safe sane sex.

I absolutely love mutual masturbation. It's what I crave above all else to have my partner manipulate and probe my vagina while I have him in hand. Sometimes I can just stare at his penis and make it jerk to my voice,coaxing it to grow. Fortunately we both enjoy this the most.

Littmann said:

. . . . for sharing the moment.

For your partner, the reason is actually simple. Sadness or guilt after sex or what is technically called post coital tristesse is fairly common. About a third of women and 10% of men experience this, and it happens more after really great sex than mediocre sex.

As far as your feeling guilty when you ask your partner to masturbate for you, could just be your not quite feeling free enough to make the request. Just relax and maybe do yourself at the same time. You should be able to tell him to "yank that crank and get the jizz out for me!" and feel nothing but excitement when it sprays through the air

Have fun you guys! That's what sex is all about. . . .

after all, sex is used a lot more for fun than procreation.

We love mutual masturbation, especially when we have a special night out or away. Before the evening, we cuddle together and masturbate then enjoy a meal or movie. Afterwards,it is vaginal sex.

No one should feel guilty, its a great experience to share.

The feeling of guilt from masturbation may not be from the sexual aspect of the act, but something with which the person just does not wish to deal.

My wife and I used to "play" with each other two or three times a week . The last four or five years she was too ill for sexual activity but she still liked me to be bald down below and would set and hold or rub me quite often as this seamed to give her comfort and calmness.

Several times when GF and I were at a motel for an afternoon of lovemaking, she said that sometime if I wanted, she would masturbate so I could watch. Now here is the sad part: I always thought it would be VERY sexy, but never asked her to do it as I actually would get so turned on by her that I wanted to be an active partner in the sex. I just couldn't resist having my tongue pressed to her clitoris or the feel of her clit as I just lightly touched it with my tongue. The feel of her anus as it first gripped then relaxed around my finger was such a turn-on for me that we never quite got to the masturbation. As you might expect, it works for me now !

My wife loves to make me masturbate while she watches or otherwise. She has even called me and told me to masturbate so she can think about it while she attends a boring meeting.

We both enjoy mutual playing-switching for a short time adds to it

My wife and I masturbate each other most of the time we have sex. It's much more erotic and satisfying for each of us. We start off with her holding my cock, and then I turn to her and start caressing face, her breasts and eventually her thighs. At some point, she directs my hand to her clit, and then I know she's getting there. If I am patient, and allow her to a bit of time to come down a little, she will orgasm two / three / four times before she is finished. I make certain she is really satisfied before letting her start on me. When she is satisfied, I know she will give me more attention than if I had stopped short of her complete fulfillment. Getting each other off in tandem also spreads the erotic activity out over more time, and results in a glow that is doesn't require immediate interruption because one partner is finished, but the other is not.

My wife and I masturbate together a lot, I love to watch her masturbate and sometime have bent over in front of me spreading her cheeks and then start rubing her clit, then she will put on a latex glove and jerk me off while she slowly sliding A finger in and out of my butt, I don’t last long

I think it takes a little while to become absolutely relaxed about mutual masturbation, but once you reach that level it is wonderful. I love watching my partner masturbate and he loves to watch me. Then we switch and do each other, learning which kind of touch or stroke seems to send them over the edge. Throw in some anal play, some oral and it adds up to a garden of sexual delights. As a woman, I have the added benefit of cumming many times while we go round and round…

@MaturePolly is absolutely correct that it takes some time before many are comfortable masturbating with someone watching. Ahhh, but when you get to that level in your relationship - it is great! Partners should note how their mate pleasures themselves so that they can touch their partners in the same way. It just gets better