Controlling people may be dangerous

I have controlled some people for a little while. I have heard and read about people who have given themselves and their minds to others with disastrous results and usually end up dead or in a mental institution. So be very wary of playing mind games ,you might lose yours .

^^^^ That is an exceptionally gross overstatement.

I'm not much of an expert; however, I am pretty certain this is false. Hypnotism (or mind control) does not force a person's decisions; it only allows the the freedom to do things they would do anyways without the thought of consequence.

Yeah... I'm with Susie and will.... I don't think power exchange games often result in death or insanity. You are talking about domination/submission, rather than drugs or mind control, right?

In the D/s world control is only granted to the D by the s. In most cases the s is truly the power behind the relationship. Because their desire and need is to be controlled. That is when they truly feel that they are alive and needed is when someone else calls the shots for them.

Just an observation from the past six years.

Wait I'm kind of scared. Does that mean if I want to be submissive there is something wrong with me?

Do your research emmy13, you have a lot to learn. This site and the net are both fantastic places to start your search. Good luck and have fun.

Mashie

I wouldn't say death or mental institution, but it can have lasting effects if someone lets another person have a lot of control over their mind and body. In a D/S relationship the sub gives up a lot of control and when the relationship ends the sub can get overwhelmed with emotions. It depends on the relationship and the people involved that's why you have to be careful when you enter a D/S situation.

For me personally, I think the 'healthiest' relationship in this sort of scenario is one in which both players are willing to 'switch'.

As Faith has suggested, there is a lot to be said for topping from the bottom...

Sorry Cowboy,

I think I'd need a little more in the way of empirical evidence to prove such a statement is true. I'm not saying you're necessarily wrong, but without any evidence, I find such a statement implausible. Cite me some studies, or an expert in the field. I can say most people think black is white, but without any evidence, it would be hard to prove one way or another.

"Within the confines of a healthy and respected adult relationship, dominance and submission can be healthy. I am NOT speaking about those who lack common sense and want to dominate someone just to get off on being cruel to them." This type of relationship is mutually consensual, respectful, intimate, and trusting. Each relationship is quite different and unique.

You say, "I have controlled someone for a little while." That is the most vague and odd statement. What does that mean? In what way, how experienced are you, what books have you read, who has mentored you (if at all), how many loving D/s relationships have you had, (and please do not reference 50 Shades of Grey, Jeez)....

Please show me links and quote actual sources. Did you take any workshops or classes within the BDSM community, btw? Are you talking about being in a Cult, where they brainwash people??? Wait a minute, are you talking about that movie "I Controlled a Zombie 28 Days Later?"

Perhaps you read that up until the 1970s, BDSM was technically classified as a mental illness? Well that is no longer the case, @Cowboy. Being in a Healthy D/s relationship is NOT about abuse, rape, disprespectful mindfuckery, or manipulation. Both the Dominant and the submissive each have free will, communicate intimately, evaluate mutual needs and goals, both trully want to please one another (a happy sub is a happy Dom/Domme), and there is a high level of mutual trust.

It's just like any other relationship, whether vanilla, kinky, or Dominant/submissive.... If your partner is abusive, cruel, violent, a psycho, mentally disturbed, or an asshat or fucktard, then end that relationship and just walk away!!!!!

Perhaps you are referring to "the asshole drunk redneck who beats his wife because supper was cold or the beer ran out"....Idk... Now THAT would send anyone running for therapy!!!

Kinksters have various fetishes, needs, desires, roles, some wish for TPE, negotiated pleasure/pain/hard limits, and continue to evolve and learn about one another in loving, intimate, erotic relationships. It is an ongoing journey of self-discovery.

Btw, being diagnosed with a mental illness has nothing to with a D/s relationship. Some mental illness is genetically predisposed or not diagnosed until years later, or medications and therapy have not been as effective. Perhaps you should go back and read a lot more on this subject and educate yourself.

@Faith, Thank You for your POV, well said and I must agree. ;-)

@Annie B, Thank You for making sense as well.

While I shouldn't speak for Doc, I think I would be safe in saying that we are both total and complete switches. Where he is strong I am weak and visa versa. We compliment each other perfectly, and on so many levels. I know that neither of us have ever respected or loved another person as much as we love each other.

Being a switch has allowed both of us to venture into places we never thought we could go before. And I agree, there is something to be said for topping from the bottom. I think a good Dom will allow some of that because when a sub is being a sub and has the freedom to express needs, desires, fears and pain, the Dom really gets to learn what makes his/her sub tick. A Dom/sub relationship is totally about trust, love and happiness. It's a process and a "walk" two people have to take and discover together.

Just my thoughts.

Mashie