I get nothing from just wearing a diaper without also at least going potty. I wore diapers nightly throughout my teens, wet every night and played with myself by the time mom got me up for school. I knew by the time I left home for college that wearing diapers was socially unacceptable, but I was allowed to wear diapers and wet myself when I was home for holidays so I still had a safe acceptable place to wear diapers and rubber pants, a place where my family knew and were uncritical of me for wanting to be diapered. So again, I always wet and played with myself when I had diapers on. Diapers had long been an erotic sexual attraction for me, and I never wore them without something coming out the tip of my pp. I finished college, left home for good, knowing that men my age wearing diapers was socially disapproved of, was something that, if known, could injure my career and social life. I no longer enjoyed a safe supportive environment in which to enjoy and express the infantile part of my personality. I felt I had to suppress my desire to wear diapers, wear only in great secrecy, while experiencing all the anxiety and fears you might expect that someone would have might if my diapers and rubber pants were found in my home, or notice me wearing a diaper, or god forbid, see the tell tale signs of a leaking diaper or the noisy rustle from my plastic panties. As a result I seldom wore diapers, although I did keep a box full of my old cloth diapers and plastic pants from home. The only time I really felt great was when I went to visit my family and wore diapers around them. They all knew, expected me to have diapers on and knew I'd end up wetting at the least. I felt safe with them, had no fear or shame about having diapers on and even hoped my mother or sister would offer to change me.
When the urge became to strong to resist any longer, I'd pin my diapers on, pull up my rubber panties and potty right away so I was nice and wet. I was so excited, wetting wasn't enough so I messed my diapers. Now messing was not something I had done in the past. I was a bedwetter, but didn't poop in my diapers. Never thought of doing it. But once I was on my own, and felt I had to keep all this secret, the urge to wear and use diapers and rubber pants grew to the point where, when I finally relented, I had to do everything in my diapers-wet, poop, ejaculate, and if possible rinse and repeat. But that wasn't enough. I wanted to feel free to wear diapers outside my home, go to the movies or a concert, go shopping, have a beer and pizza with a friend, go to the beach or hike in our local mountains, any thing I did withoutg wearing diapers I wanted to do when I had diapers on. And as long as I was diapered, I wanted to at least potty in them, play with myself, and if possible(as long as no one could detect it) mess. I was never able to wear diapers as much as I wanted, and as time went on, the time between my diaper binges stretched longer and longer, but when I did, I became more adventurous, to the point of meeting girls, wearing diapers around her, hoping she would notice, or I would have the courage to tell her I had diapers on. And sometimes it happened, she knew, she didn't run away, call me a pervert or sicko, or worse threaten to tell others. But throughout all of this I always, without fail, at least wet and ejaculated in my diapers. Today, I wear diapers most of the time, wet myself several times a day, but one thing remains constant-my diapers are wet.