SternSteve, If you don't want to damage or kill anyone then DON'T drop a NG tube down anyone.
With all due respect, and not to sound like a total bitch here or anything, but the exact nature of the questions you ask, tells me that you are not safe to drop one.
You ask things like how to insert one without causing damage or discomfort. How to pull it out, and does it cause burning upon removal. What fluids to inject. How much fluid, do I risk loss of electrolytes. Can I stimulate bodily functions through a NG tube?
And you think that using a pump to remove the fluids might be quite amusing? Are you flipping kidding me?
No you can't stimulate bodily functions through a NG tube. Pumping someone's stomach is so far beyond dangerious, it's making me angry that you even brought it up.
Droping a NG tube even at the hands of a professional isn't always easy. People tend to panic when getting things down their throat. Most people have a gag reflex, it's a safety mechanism the body has so you don't die. Droping a NG tube often causes people to vomit, which leads to aspiration, which then leads to death. Your victum may walk out of your exam room, and 3 days later could be dead, at your hands because you were not educated enough to realize that droping a NG tube is NOT in your scope of practice, and also because you were uneducated enough to know that your victum aspirated.
Don't be a fool. Until you have a medical license, do not play with the grown up doctor and nurse toys.
Mashie