So close to telling her, it's scary when you have never told anyone

I'm so close to telling my fiancee about my desires to wear a nappy/diaper. We have been together for 18 months, we are due a baby in November which we are thrilled about and we are due to be married in October 2010!

I know we love each other so much and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I can't leave my desires behind and as we plan to be together forever I know I must tell her. We are going to a music festival in a couple of months and I was thinking I would suggest taking nappies/diapers with us to save queueing for ages for vile toilets and missing of bands, also as she is pregnant she needs regular toilet breaks and says she is going to struggle with her hovering methods of previous years.

Maybe I should just tell her I've had desires to wear nappies/diapers since I was young and have worn them often in the past, prior to being with her. I don't want to wear them all the time, just occasionally. Should I say it's kind of a fetish thing or more of a comfort thing I've done since I was young? To be truthful I'm not 100% sure of my reasons for it, most probably a bit of both. I know we are in a solid relationship but I'm scared as there's alot on the line, especially with a baby on the way!

Well that is always a touchy subject. I would say discuss the ideas for the music festival, see how she reacts. I am also guessing it is tool late to claim bedwetting. Now for telling her it is a fetish or a comfort thing, i am not sure which way to go. But i would say if you truely love each other, you should be able to figure something out. Who knows the idea might be appealing to her and she feels the same way and is afraid to tell you. Anyone on this forum have a life that matches up with what he is saying?

Yea it's too late to claim bedwetting and I don't really want to mislead her. I still haven't told her yet, I've been thinking I might just tell her straight out. I've got an idea of what to say (I appreciate any feedback, thanks)

"There's something I want to tell you, I've been wanting to tell you for a while now but been scared of your reaction. I figure you love me so you will try to understand it even if it seems strange to you? I haven't told you before now and I'm sorry, it's not because I don't trust you or didn't want you to know, it's just I've never told anyone before, you're the only one I've ever trusted enough to tell and I think you would rather me tell you than keep it to myself.

I haven't done it since we've been together but I really miss it and have strong desires to do it again. Ever since being young I've wanted to wear a nappy again, not because I want to be a baby again, just because I like the feeling. I still have these feelings to this day, like I said I do not want to be an adult baby, I just have the urge to wear a nappy sometimes. I have worn them now and then since I was young, I really enjoy wetting myself and soft feeling of a nappy , it's also quite a turn on for me since I got older.

This maybe tough for you to understand and if it is maybe you should try it? I know I would like that, it's kind of a fantasy I have! I'm really sorry I haven't told you sooner, I've tried! It doesn't make me a different person, I'd never want anyone else to know and it's not something I'm proud of nor do I want to do it all the time, just once in a while would be nice, even better if you could accept it and participate also. I hope you still love me, I know I would still love you if you liked something different"

Sound pretty good, but a couple of suggestions. I would not say that if she has trouble understanding it to try it, that can back fire.

You could say if she is curious she could try it if she wants. But if she says she doesnt want to then do NOT mention it again.

You already mentioned it is something you like and miss, and let her know you would like to do it again, and let her know you are willing to discuss when and how often you will be allowed. Maybe you only do it when she is not home, or when fully clothed. There is always the idea of not doing it at home.

I wear fairly often when away from home, like on the 9th i am gonna be wearing one for a few hours. Either i will sneak one in tonight to put on tomorrow morning, or just stop first thing after leaving to put one on. But it is an idea.

Also let her know that if she wants you will make sure she doesnt have to deal with it,i know you like wetting, but maybe you will wear and not wet while around her. And there is always the idea of wetting then showering and then disposing of your diapers.

I am not sure if this will help but this is the advice i offer.

Tim, it's not something there is any formula for or any real directions you could follow. I agree with Psykira about pressing her to try it. Your first and foremost is to get her to understand and except it for you. I can't tell you what to say, but the most important thing is, to be from the hart and be honest. Tell her all you can, let her listen to you, look her in the eyes, let her see what's in your eyes. Then, let her ask any and all questions. Keep in mind, not everything has to solved in one secession. Take it slow if needs be. I wish you luck.

Here's the best advice I can give you, from life experience. It's so simple and yet very complicated. The way you feel about it yourself when you introduce it to her is a big part of what she will feel about it. If you're scared, unhappy, ashamed -- that's what she will hear. If you make it a huge, burdened serious thing that you're telling her this, that's what it will always be between you.

At the same time you are brave, and right, in knowing that she needs to know this if you love each other and will be life partners. Can you get to a place, and do this in a way, that is completely truthful but doesn't carry that kind of weight? See the humour... The silliness... Make the conversation mutual and about other personal things about both of you... ? A lot of that is how you feel about yourself.

The baby is very likely to be the issue, as you sense. Babies = diapers, for two or three years, all around. A new baby together and a partner revealing a complicated relationship with diapers leaves lots of room for misunderstanding, questions, etc. To describe what you did/do with diapers and being a little kid again sometimes as play, as a game or comfort thing from your childhood, that surprisingly is still fun and still feels really good sometimes -- can you get that across at a moment when it's not a confession but just an intimate moment of sharing?

Very best of luck with this.

Tim, Touchy subject with many answers, none of which are "the way" because every person is different. You could perhaps wait until after the baby is born and while watching mommy change the baby tell her you are jealous of all the attention given to the baby and by the way that powder really smells great. Wish you could put a diaper on me. And see what happens next. Obviously the diapers wouldn't fit but a dare situation could easily arise like lol They wouldn't fit you honey.

Tim "Do you mean you would diaper me if they fit?"

her "Sure."

Tim "They make adult size diapers you know?"

Her "yeah, right, you get them and I'll put them on you if you really want me to."

Tim "I'll give that some serious thought and get back to you on it. It does sound like it could be fun."

Day or so later. Tim "Hey honey, guess what I finally got the nerve to buy?" ...

Tim i have an idea to help you, but this is tricky, for one, if she is a nice person this should work. Tell her on a forum someone asked you for advice on how to tell their significant other a big secret, but dont tell her what the secret it. Let her know you would like her help to try a couple ideas you have. What you want is for her to pretend that the secret you talk to her about is actually about you and you want her to act and respond who she would if you actually revealed this to her. Then tell her about being a dl. If she thinks it is to help someone but she has to react like she actually would then you can talk to her about being a dl and see how she takes it and get her opinion of trying different ways, just tell her you are going to start with being straight forward. If you bring this up and she has a bad negative reaction, and breaks from the game and asks what kind of ppl you are talking to, then you know she doesnt like the idea.

I've actually thought a lot about this. I honestly have no idea what kind of hit our lifestyle will take once there is a real baby in the mix.

Has anybody out there gone through something like this? Did the baby lead to a pause in the baby play?

It did. until my ex realized that i liked being the baby too

Thanks for all your help guys, haven't been on for a while but still haven't plucked up the courage yet though I'm thinking I'll just wait until the time is right. I'm dying to wear again though, it's been ages and I can only get nappies delivered as I live in the uk which is a problem as my fiancée is bound to find out then

I posted somethign like this already but it fits here... Up until this point I was being very discreet with my browser history and everything but I couldn't take it anymore. I started being very lax with everything. I would view diaper sites with her in the house and I stopped clearing my browser history and I was getting ready to tell her, then she confronts me one day saying she found pictures of girls in diapers on my computer. I sat her down next to me and told her everything. She thought it was weird and said I needed to stop. I said I would (because I would have if she wanted me to). She went as far as to ask me to seek counseling.

When the conversation died down and we went to bed I told her that I wanted her to know more about it before she had me go to counseling. She agreed and the next day I sent her a few links to info sites and videos from the "Tyra Banks Show" and "Secret Lives of Women - Baby Ella" and she did some research on her own. When I got home from work she had a list of questions for me. She asked everything from am I an AB, DL, furry... to, do I pee mess or both in them. When it was said and done she said she didn't care if I wore them when she wasn't around and agreed to let me wear them around her occasionally (which took me about a month to muster the courage to actually do).

It all worked out for me in the end which I am thinkfull for. What helped me in my situation is nto only her understanding but my no pressure attitude. She has said a few times that she feels closer to me now that she knows everything about me. I swore to her that I would tell her everyhting from now on, no matter how embarassing.

Tim,

First, congrats on your pending marriage. Second, I hope you decide to come right out and tell her about your interest in diapers. I told my (now wife) while we were just about to be engaged, because I wanted her to know the whole story about me up front, before we took "the plunge." She reacted surprised and a bit taken aback, but wasn't even remotely judgmental... she just needed to know it wasn't about sex with kids, and she was good.

If I had tricked her, or not told her, or stayed "closeted" with this thing, we would have missed out on hundreds of fantastic shared experiences together, and I likely would have chosen some pretty dark behavior (like experiencing it with someone else outside of our marriage) after a while. I hope you tell her, and that she reacts as my wife did.

Good luck.