Wifey has been on my case for some time about seeing a doctor, and I finally consented. Probably the last time I saw a Doc was 10 years ago, but hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it. Truth be told, I was somewhat ready to see a doc because the blood pressure has been misbehaving for a couple months.
So I went in yesterday, having obsessed about it ever since the appointment was made. Doc asked "when was the last time you had a physical", and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. No disrespect intended or implied, but I'm really not the kind who does this on an annual basis......hell, a year goes by like a month, 10 years nearly as quickly 😃
So, he says, I think you need a comprehensive exam as that will help with figuring out what's not right, and I can do it right now. Whoa there big fella, give me a second to think about this! You mean you can't just hand me a script for some BP pills, and give a more deserving patient more of your time?
Well OK says I slowly, totally unprepared for this turn of events. Wifey is in the room with me ( so how can I say no? ), and the Doc says I'll be back in a minute, take off all your clothes except underwear. I proceed to disrobe down to sox and my fresh tight white briefs.
Now I'm beginning to wonder what's ahead. Doc comes back, and does the usual tests: brief eye movement exam, ears ( you've got some wax in the right ear), rubber hammer on the knees and ankles, stethescope all over chest and back, feeling/palpating torso, arm and leg movements, etc. while I'm seated on the crinkly-paper table.
Then he asks me to stand on the floor as he pulls out a wheeled stool. I'm to stand in front of him and lower my underpants ("slide down your underwear for me"). I REALLY wasn't prepared for this - haven't had a genitalia exam since a work physical when I was early twenty-something (where I had to strip naked and wait inside a cubicle the size of a public toilet; then imagine my surprise when the door opened without a knock-knock, and an attractive female intern stepped in to spend quality time with me inside the cube. Yes, she was very thorough with the hernia and naughty bits examinations).
So I slid my briefs down to my knees and repositioned my legs somewhat apart as the doc gloved up, wondering the whole time what he was going to think about my hairless smooth privates......in addition to thoughts about how exciting it was when I was getting my little kid undescended testicle exams, and the order was "take down your underpants", which I did by bending over and pushing my boy briefs all the way down to my ankles.
He began by feeling my penis, then each testicle. It was warm in the room, so my un-aroused (and somewhat apprehensive) 3 inch cock and smooth small tight scrotum were somewhat relaxed , hanging loosely, presenting a bit larger - more like late adolescent genitalia. He asked if I had any problems, pains, etc. which I have not. Then he did a gentle hernia exam (turn your head and cough) confirming that I do have a hernia whose repair should be addressed at some point. Other than that all is well he proclaimed, then asked me to turn 90 degrees, and lean over the exam table, not saying what was next. Guess I was supposed to know, but it really took a few seconds to realize what the next procedure would be.
Oh-oh, I said to myself.....I've never had a rectal exam before!! I had heard enough negative stories about this that I was somewhat afraid, but also very excited and curious. Doc put some lube on my hole, then I felt some pressure as his finger travelled without hesitation much further inside me than I had ever thought or imagined. I had thought he would ask me to spread my cheeks, but no, he obviously knew exactly where he was going and how to get there. Then began some extremely pleasant sensations in my penis. He spent more time feeling around, and commented that the prostate felt good (which was great affirming news to me).
Just as I was getting used to the full feeling and tinglies he withdrew his finger, and provided some tissues ("if you want to clean up the excess lube"). Overall it was an exquisite experience.....wanted it to go on for a good while longer, and wondered how nice it might have been to have a baby-oiled glove "examining" my naughty bits as the prostate received extended attentions!