Mixed signals (how do I know if my girlfriend is interested?)

Anyone else alone in this interest (in other words, you like it, but your partner doesn't)?. I realize enemas, just by themselves, seem like "a kink too far", but I can't even tell if my girlfriend is that interested in anal play at all.

She indulges me, and sometimes I get to rim her (which I love), and I can usually get away with fingering her ass for a minute while going down on her, but I rarely get the chance to slip more than my fingertip into her. We've never had anal sex (although I'd love to), so I doubt there will ever be a time when I get to give her an enema, either. She did ask me to buy her an enema once (sometimes she gets really constipated around the time of her period). I offered to help her with it, but she turned me down flat. I had to pretend I was joking.

The weird thing is, sometimes, when it comes to anal play, she'll let me get my fingers really deep into her ass while I'm rubbing or licking her clit, and she'll have these amazing orgasms--much more intense than her usual ones (which are pretty strong), but then she says she didn't know that was where I was touching her. Can that even happen? Are there any other women here who can't tell if someone has their fingers in their ass or their pussy?

Once, she had had a couple glasses of wine, and she let me slide a thin glass dildo up her butt and kind of gently fuck her ass with it while I fingered her, but after a while, she said she couldn't come (the wine got in the way), and we stopped. She said she enjoyed it and would like to do it again, but although I've asked a couple of times, she's never wanted to.

I don't know whether any of that means she enjoys anal play, but is too inhibited to really go with it, or if that was just the small extent of interest she had in the subject. It's taken nearly ten years to even get to this point, so it's not like we're racing ahead with anything. Oh well. I'm happy with whatever she lets me do, but it sure would be fun to try a little more.

Anyone else had this sort of experience? If you were the reluctant one, what held you back, and what helped you get over it? If you were the eager one, what did you do to get your partner interested?

Hey, the best way to find out is to begin a dialog about sex. If she hasn't started this dialog, you can bet that she finds it just as difficult to talk about sex as you do. Talk about how communicating better could lead to a better relationship. Its difficult to talk about likes and don't likes. Are there things she does that you don't like, but can't tell her cause it'll hurt her feelings? What if there are things you do that she just pretends to like? Its like that story of the wife and husband where the man loves the ends of the bread loafs but gives it to his wife because he loves her and the wife hates the ends of the breads and eats it for him so he doesn't have to suffer through eating it out of love for him. Both are suffering for the other, honest communication will bring about more happiness.

Not everything is peaches and cream, its hard to hear you're not the king in bed and there's room for improvement. So if your egos can't handle it, talk about that too, and try and talk gently but still honestly with each other.

To answer you question directly. She probably doesn't have experience with anal sex, does not know how its supposed to work, has fear about it being messy and horribly embarrassing, doesn't know how or who to talk to about it, afraid its going to hurt, unsure if you know how to have anal sex with out causing her pain, etc etc etc so be a man, talk about it

Most guys don't have respect for what its like to be a girl. Its not just a matter of can you stick it up her ass, you try letting her stick something up your ass and you will get a whole new insight into vulnerability. 😃 you wanting to have anal sex is risking very little from your side in terms of vulnerability but a lot for her. You being the one to break the ice with an awkward conversation is at least some form of emotional vulnerability

So take what you like from what I said, dismiss what you don't like, it probably says more about me anyway, have some fun, and take some risks

My experience has been that anything sexual often requires trust and relaxation. So, if I were in your situation, I'd make sure that she was feeling safe, relaxed, and that you had been close in a non-sexual way; then start to talk about what you want to do.

Good luck,

John

WOW

I am 63 and she 52, what I read here must be in front of this site.

Same experiences as mmostly, we begin to see the end of the tube once I ("the male") ask her to give an enema,

to stick me up a dildo or toys in my ass, she was blocked,

but after a lot of games, my ass was ready for big cocks,

BUT SHE ACCEPT AND REALIZE THAT when she was playing with my ass I cum really hard,

so some curiosity and tiny interest were born.

Once uppon a time we were together in the bath,

I had buy an inflatable nozzle "for me"really for her,

our Eroscillator was ready like the water an the Higginson,

I tell her to put his legs on the sides of the bath, and to play with the vibe, . . .

I begun to tease his ass while she was busy on her pussy,

and finally I put the nozzle just against her ass,

what must happen happen and the nozzle begun to enter,

5 minutes later the nozzle was inside,

just after I pumped some air, she OOOh

after a while I let the flow start slowly she hhhmmmffff???

then OOOOOHHHHHH

So 2 weeks later a second strike, I hope to do it again next week

Arthur

Aside from Arthur's post, which seems somewhat self-serving vs. helpful, I agree with the other posts. To answer mmostly's question: Can that even happen? Are there any other women here who can't tell if someone has their fingers in their ass or their pussy?...I simply can't imagine a woman, even after two glasses of wine, not realizing that you were fingering her rectum and not her vagina. It's a very different sensation. It's more likely that she's shy about discussing these things and admitting that this activity turns her on.

Arianna

Hi Arianna, sorry for my incredible french accent on the keyboard!

I don't understand your reaction, so I can't answer at your post.

May I ask You to say again your answer but in an other way.

Thks for your interest,

Directly via my email is fine too

Arthur the frenchie