It's good to see so many people responding to this thread. I am sure that so many of us have been through very similar thoughts.
I know that I did the same when I first started properly getting back in to nappies in my late teens. There was a huge sexual thing about wearing a nappy, always resulting in masturbation, then massive guilt. Binge and purge were common - I threw away so many nappies and plastic pants, but kept coming back for more.
Eventually I got to the stage where I could wear a nappy for a longer period of time without having to masturbate - I effectively broke the sexual element. I could then just enjoy wearing a nappy and all the wonderful feelings of comfort and security they gave me.
It took a lot of time to "train" myself to not get too sexually tied up in nappies.
Sure there was still a sexual element to wearing nappies, especially when I wet them and to this day there are times when a wet nappy is still highly sexual.
The guilt was still a big problem for ages, but then I spoke to another DL - yes, actually spoke on the phone! Wow, what a day that was, chatting on Yahoo one day this person gave me their phone number - so with beating heart I rang him. I with-held my own number on his advice so I still had privacy.
I just sat and listened - he spoke to me for ages and "told" me all about how I was feeling and what I had been through - it was as if he had been a fly on the wall during all my years of torment with nappies.
The most important thing he said was "give up the guilt or give up the nappies" - it made so much sense. I knew I couldn’t give up nappies, they were just too important to me, so I gave up the guilt and that was a massive turning point in my life.
I bought more and more nappies and I wore them more often so they became just a different choice of underwear. I met up with a few other AB/DL's via Yahoo messenger, I even told a few very close friends and guess what - they were all fine with it.
Now I wear nappies most of the time when ever I can, which is pretty much all the time except for at work or visiting family.
I also have a few DL friends and we can do all the normal things friends do but with the added bonus of being able to wear nappies whilst doing them and also chat about nappies should we have the need.