I stole the first pair when I was in my early teens from the washing that was put out to dry at a neighbour’s house where there were four sisters but they were too small to wear. To me, stealing is wrong and I stole very few things in my life but I actually stole my second pair from the changing room of an old-fashioned drapery shop while I was trying on a pair of trousers. How they came to be there I will never know.
Many years later I became aware of a boutique at a distant town that I sometimes travelled through. It was geared towards ladies of shall we say, normal size rather than the size zero and I became fascinated by the thought of going in there and buying a pair of panties. One day I plucked up the courage and with a racing pulse I entered the shop. The lady, who was the owner, asked if she could help me and I told her what I wanted. She then asked what size, probably being unsure who they were for and I told her that they should be my size. She told me to wait at the back until she had served the other customer who was in the shop and those few minutes of waiting seemed like hours.
Finally, the lady left and I made my way to the front of the shop. I was shown sets of lacy bra and panties in black and in white. I remember her saying that they were not cheap and she was right but I would have paid any price by then. I left the shop with the black ones and I still have them. I returned to the same shop another time and enquired about dresses but the lady who was there was the owner’s mother, was only minding the shop for a few minutes and told to come back when her daughter returned. I beat a hasty retreat.
After that I bought many pairs at large department stores. The thought of standing there and picking them out, standing in the queue for the till and finally handing them to the cashier adds to the humiliation and excitement. I must admit that my nerve does not always hold out and I end up with items that are too small. The last occasion was probably the most embarrassing as I bought two pairs of control panties and a skirt from one of those cheap shops that sell a mixture of groceries and other items. It would have been somehow easier to deal with a female cashier but although I waited and waited, I eventually had to go to the one till that was in operation and it was operated by a man.
I do not consider myself to be a sissy but I get a thrill out of doing something that is out of the ordinary and somehow taboo.