Significant other factor

How many people would leave their significant other if they told you, you couldn't wear diapers anymore? If yes, what do you think you'd do differently when looking for another relationship?

Before anything else, I'd start by trying to reach a compromise, like wearing when she's not home, or curtailing something she doesn't like about diapering. Hell, she doesn't have to participate in diapering at all!

But if it came to a choice between her or the diapers, it all depends on what's at stake. If it's a long-term relationship and I really enjoy her company, I would likely give it up. Then again, if it turns out she's a control freak (which is what I'd assume considering this absurd demand to stop wearing diapers, the nerve of her!!), I'd let her go and try my hand with another woman.

You're really obsessing about this, aren't you? Posting on Wetset, starting multiple threads here, etc etc.

People have kindly given you a stack of advice so far. Most of it pretty darn thoughtful and caring.

The summary, as I remember it, is you need to figure out what you want to do.

A lot of us see significant problems with your wife's approach, which seems to include wanting to tell you what you should and should not find erotically stimulating. Some of us think that her belief that she can control your erotic desires is a poorly informed and immature on her behalf. The term control freak has been used, possibly accurately. But hey, you married her.

As has been said already, if you love this woman and want to be with her, get a grip on your DL needs without making a huge fuss over it.

Of course, maybe due to something you have not told us or do not know, she is just utterly fucking freaked out by DL and needs to try and stop it for her sanity. We do not know if she is a open-minded woman who likes a wide variety of sex play, or if she is Miss Vanilla in the bedroom. You need to figure out if her problem with DL is unique, or if it is just a manifestation of the fundamental way she approaches sex and marriage.

I and several other posters think your problems with your wife may go way beyond DL stuff. There seems to be a power struggle going on, and poor communication too. If your wife honestly believes that the role of "a wife" is to fix her husband, get him to live right and be a good catch, you have problems.

I've never had to face your perceived problem - DL play or marriage - so I do not know what I would do. But I do remember that when I was young, I could make a huge deal about matters to do with sex. It was all so damn important!!! I was, being young, completely awash in testosterone and quite irrational 90% of the time. I am now a horny old bugger who has great sex with his wife very frequently, but I no longer get all mad if things do not work out the exact way I want every time. Sex - great and frequent. Anger about sex - gone.

I think, like Cricket, that you can save your marriage if you want to. If you do want out, sounds like you are very likely to be "outed" as a DL, according to others.

But I mainly think that you need to figure out if the whole thing was a mistake outside of this DL crisis, and proceed from there.

Just incase some of you haven't figured this out, this is a very small community and decisions such as the one I have to make should be made carefully. I am simply looking for additional information by asking another question. Is it related to the same thing I asked before? Yes. Is it the same question? No.

With the way this community has been in the past, I highly doubt I will continue to allow idiots to try to insult me anymore. I have seen a arrary of double standards here and they aren't amusing. They're sad. A group this small should stick together but instead I see people who constantly think they're right without any just cause--to those people fu*k off and please don't reply to any of my posts you may see. To everyone that can post sensibly, thank you for making this community a better place.

Wow dude pretty touchy here. Previous post indicates you may be obsessing on this issue.

If you have to choose between a diaper and a person and you can't figure out which is more important, perhaps you have a serious values lesson to learn. Resorting to bad language will not resolve it. You probably need to seek some council from someone who is qualified rather than a d/l site.

We aren't really qualified to help any more than what we have, we just like diapers.

😁 😁 😁 😁 key phrase- till death do we part-.key word compromise. 😁 😁 😁 😁

[quote author=2bdiapered link=topic=16131.msg168370#msg168370 date=1231592109]

Wow dude pretty touchy here. Previous post indicates you may be obsessing on this issue.

If you have to choose between a diaper and a person and you can't figure out which is more important, perhaps you have a serious values lesson to learn. Resorting to bad language will not resolve it. You probably need to seek some council from someone who is qualified rather than a d/l site.

We aren't really qualified to help any more than what we have, we just like diapers.

[/quote]

You are one of the idiots I speak of. You may say, I resort to bad language, or whatever, but in reality it isn't like you haven't heard those words before--we are after all adults. That is why I'm so suprised to hear from a community of people that obsess about a material item that I'm obsessing over something. It's hypocritical. But many of you can't understand that. But that's understandable because you spend half of your day at work. Then the other half online not learning a thing. I came here to ask for opinions but I didn't realize that most of you aren't smart enough to formulate your own. You just go with the popular one. If you don't believe me look at all the replies that mention someone else's opinion and use it for validation of their own. In addition, I've only met a handfull of people in my life that can give an intelligent opinion on something they never experienced. 2bdiapered has no idea about how to deal with a wife that doesn't accept this fetish; however, from his opinion of "choosing a person over diapers". If he were in this situation he would rather have children and lead the person along based on choosing this person over diapers. Then one day he would wake up and find himself unhappy but that's okay because as long as he chooses the person over diapers he can live off of that thought. If his wife doesn't understand. So what. If he's depressed. So what. But myself, coming from a impoverished household as a child, I think carefully about what situation I would create for a child coming into this world. If there is clearly something wrong I think about it until I have a solution. That is not obsession or else every inventor and engineer that must think long and hard about something is obsessed. In conclusion, yes, bad language will not solve it but I'm sure you wouldn't know what would because in your mind apparently thought doesn't solve it either.

My fiancee isnt big on me wearing them... however she has told me on no uncertain terms that she loves me for me, including this part, so hopefully she doesnt change her tune haha.

I have lived this vary thing. My X-Wife gave me this same ultimatum, quit the diaper wearing or els ! I did love her with my heart and sole and the last thing in the world I wanted was to loose her. To compound the problem I am also a cross dresser, this explains the screen name. Well I tried in earnest a few times and just couldn't manage to put the diapers and panties away for good. She caught me a couple of times and there was big trouble about it and after a year or more she finally gave up on me. Not to say that was the end , no the end came 6 years latter. Through out our marriage she had been unfaithful. Each time I discovered a new boy friend and confronted her she would justify her actions saying it was my fault because of my diapers and cross dressing. She said she needed a "real man"

The lessen I learned here came many years after our brake up. She went on to date and as far as to co-habituate with many men. She continued to be unfaithful to all of them. Each time she would excuse her behavior by blaming the man.

So my words to you friend are this- Although wearing diapers may be a turn off for your significant, I do not buy into the idea that merely sopping will fix every thing. Besides, read all the post on that subject, "Stopping" or Quitting" most every one, like 99.9% say they can not quit. I'll bet you can not quit either. I know I was unable to stop. And today I am way happier for it. I have a relationship lasting 15 years and diapers and cross dressing have been a significant part of it. As well she has remained faithful and so have I.

Life is too short to live it by some other's rules . You have to be happy with yourself and who you are before you can be happy in a relationship.

This has been my experience and it works for me. I'm not saying it's one size fits all, but think about it and use what ever advice you see fit. Most of all think it over for yourself and make your own choices.

My wife was understanding about my desire to wear diapers when we were dating and even diapered me at regular intervals. I wore diapers for most of our honeymoon.

This all ended with the birth of our children.

My wife didn't want to change everyones diapers.

Now days, I still wear (and use0 but I do so in secret.

I love my wife and family, but I also enjoy my diapers.