Awkward or hilarious sexy scenes you've encountered ...

There have been many inappropriate scenes in my unchaste experiences that were uncomfortable in the moment but fall down laughable in the retelling. One story that pops to mind is the summer evening we (two couples) cuddling on a bench swing, all wearing skirts when a tall lady wandered by carrying a folding chair, stooped down and looked us all in the eye then asked, "Anyone here I haven't fu*ked yet?"

We just nodded, "Yes". After a long moment, she or he wandered off to the edge of a garden, opened the chair, sat down beside it and fell asleep. A definate mood bender, but left many unanswered questions.

Have any tales to tell?

I have always been an ardent photographer. When in university I sort of came into my own, spending more time taking photographs of fellow students than really studying. But whatever.

I learned to blend in so no one really noticed me and I made thousands of photos in those years. To sort of cement my presence I would often make prints of friends or their friends/gf and hand them out.

Once I made some nice photos of a friends girlfriend. Normal photos mind you, of student life and such. Anyway I went to his room and knocked, having the photos in hand. He said to come on in and to my surprise my friend was in bed, post-coitus naked I could immediately tell and in bed with another girl than the one I had photos of. Apparently a new girlfriend.

I was inside and besides being a bit taken back at the intimate scene, I had the photos (large sized prints) in my hand. My friend asked what i wanted and what i was holding and not knowing what to do (I should have left but that would have been awkward too) I sheepishly handed him the photos of his (previous) girlfriend. He sort of smiled and handed them to his new paramour, who looked them over. Both appreciated the photos I guess, complimented me and we made some (very) small talk until I quickly left.

To say that I felt silly and socially inept would be an understatement.

And thinking back on the event, I am now very sorry I didn't take photos of my friend and gf when they were in bed. From their demeanor I bet they would have said yes.

I was at an outdoor party in the summer. I went to the edge of the yard to take a leak. On my way I happened upon my buddy on top of a girl I knew. Both had their pants down, and he was fucking her good .The girl looked up at me, laughed, and said hi, as did my buddy. I said hi back,and found another place to pee.

Talking and experiencing "weird". A few years ago I was a regular at a local massage parlor.... great ladies, mid-30s to 50s and they really new how to work with and on a man. That one day I was in the middle of a session with one of the ladies, we were both naked working and approaching each others sweet spots. Then a most disturbing load knock on the door. I was left lying with my man-hood pointing to the ceiling while my gal grabbed her towel and discretely opened the door. It was one of the other ladies who simply asked 'does anyone here have a condom? I need one for my guy!" I sat-up and in my full naked glory grabbed one and handed it to the "mistress-in-distress". The two of us smiled and proceeded in our own session. Later on my way out the "mistress-in-distress' saw me in the hall way, smiled, and said "Thank you... I owe you one, next time?". Never can tell what to expect with that group of women!

Long ago, Mr. PinotNoir and I were having vigorous noisy sex in our bedroom. At one point we rolled over without stopping, my head half-dangling over the side of the bed. And two yellow eyes glowed, staring down at us. I had to stop him, tell him to look. What the hell?

We had those cheap closet doors that open by folding back in a V that sticks into the room and one was open. Our cat had gotten up there and watched with interest, unseen until what little light there was made her eyes reflect when I was as just the right angle. We never figured out how she got so high; there wasn't a dresser or anything she might have jumped from.

We still laugh about it.