Guilt regarding kink

So, I'm 18, and I've always kinda been into spanking? And quite a few other things, and I think part of what makes me feel ashamed is that it isn't even related to sex all the time, some part of me just feels the need to be manhandled and taken control of by someone I choose to put my trust in, and I want to be taken apart and put back together again and made to cry and forced to let it all out. I feel like a freak for this. Does the shame and guilt ever go away?

Yes and no. It's up to you.

You may want to dig up and understand why you have theae desires and accept that this guilt is not something to be ashamed of. That these desires may come from darker places of your mind but can be safely explored, and that it can even be cathartic.

You may want to find people with similar and/or complementary kinks to yours, to explore safely. To learn that there is nothing to feel guilty about, unless this guilt is exciting to you ;-)

Or you may not want to explore it at all, ignore it and just let that guilt make you feel bad forever... But that would be sad, no? ;-)

Whatever you do, be safe. Learn your own limits, and don't let just anybody break you the way you think you want to: there may be something hidden behind that desires that deserve some proper care and love, and some people out there are not fit to welcome you fully when you explore that desire. Be safe and take the time to build trust and mutual respect, even through the most degrading and intense games ;-)

Speaking for myself, guilt never figured into it, taking the time to enjoy the positive feelings. Don't be afraid to ask questions of yourself to better understand what makes oneself ticks. Think along the lines of self discovery and a life long journey. It's not about the destination, but about the journey.