Is demisexual the new name for shy romantic?

Is demi sexual the new name for shy romantic . One thing i found when i first started dating was that i had to know the girl first . I couldn't have one night stands like my mates where i would meet a girl and fuck on the first night . Well i could but i could never cum and really felt nothing with them no matter how beautiful and available they were . My friends used to tease me that i was an old fashioned romantic . Girls i knew thought i was gay until i asked them out and they just wanted to be BFF's rather than date me . Sure i have my fetishes which did complicate things a little but when i was young they were easily met . As a matter of fact they were met with the first foreplay with any serious GF . I had to go through the hoops of chatting . Then asking out and getting to know them before kissing cuddling and holding hands . Then the first mutual groping's and mutual masturbation leading up to full sex . Maybe after weeks or months depending on how much time we had spent together and how well we knew each other . I guess i needed to fall in love for sex to have any real meaning for me .

How do other demi sexual people feel about it and how has it effected your love life ?

Demisexual people need an emotional bond before they become sexually attracted to someone, I don’t think it implies shyness. Demiromantic need an romantic bond and sapiosexual people need an intellectual bond. These are closely related and the common denominator is emotions. When I was young and horney, anyone would do even if I had to put a bag over their head - no emotion just hormones. But for a real relationship that has lasted for 40 some years, we developed both an emotional and romantic bond between us. Can’t say for sure which came first, but we didn’t have sex until several months after we started courting. We started building that emotional bond through sports before we were aware of our attraction to each other. When the sexual attraction hit, it hit hard!

I definitely identify with demisexual. I try not to use labels too much, however sometimes they're really useful, especially because you realise all of a sudden you're not the only one wired in a particular way!

I remember when I was at University in London back in my early twenties and I would be the only one among my group of friends not meeting someone on the dance floor and then going home with them. I thought there was something wrong with me because I just couldn't do that. And it's always been like that. I've never had that feeling my friends have when someone walks into the room and they say "wow, he/she is hot!", it's just never happened to me.

I wouldn't say it's shy romantic, I am no longer shy like I used to be but I am still demisexual.

I also need to chat for a long time, understand that the person is interested in me as a person before anything sexual occurs. I need to be able to talk to them about all sorts and feel I trust them. Trust is important to me.

I also got teased for being an old fashioned romantic but, in hindsight, I am glad I am this way.

What an important post. On one hand, it is very enlightening and hopefully will help dispel misinformation. Yet, it is distressing that one even has to offer an explanation. We are so eager to categorize people that are different from the norm or the perceived norm. When you find yourself viewed as being different or experience the reaction from others in this way, it's hard not to feel odd or deviant. Speaking out like this is one way to help push back against this type of stigmatization.