Orgasms as “punishment”

I discovered masturbation at a very early age — around 4 — and for a long time had very conflicting feelings about it. I worried that it was harmful, or somehow naughty and inappropriate, yet I couldn’t bring myself to refrain for more than a week or two. The feeling of orgasm was mysterious and confusing. At the same time, my brain sort of conflated the ideas of spanking and orgasm. My first “wet” dream involved a scenario where my parents “spanked” me by rubbing me between my legs.

As strange as it may seem, I’ve often longed to explore these feelings in an ageplay setting. For a while I thought I wanted to be spanked for being caught playing with myself, but in reality that scenario leaves me feeling hollow. I think what I’d really like to play with is the idea that orgasm itself is a “punishment” or at least something mysterious that needs to be done to me for my own good. Perhaps mommy would tell me that I’d been acting up and needed to “make naughties”. She’d pull my pants down but leave my underwear on, and take me over her lap as if she were going to spank me. She’d press a buzzy toy between my legs, and hold me firmly until I came, and for some time afterwards as I tried to wriggle away. I’d feel very vulnerable and conflicted but it’d only be a matter of time before I felt compelled to tell mommy that I’d been having naughty feelings to try to get her to “punish” me again.

Does this resonate with anyone else?

I started around the same age as you. I thought I was making myself tickle all over. It was shocking but it felt so great when I got myself to that special spot. I also knew it was something I wasnt supposed to be doing. My mom caught me a few times and was mad at what I was doing. What you said sounds great a punishment that leads to a happy ending... Told its bad and how wrong it is at the same time feeling so great...

I wore diapers and rubber pants to bed every night until I was nearly 18. My mother had her routine-washing drying my genitals and bottom, unfolding cloth diapers under me, sprinkling baby powder all over and rubbing it in and then pinning my diapers together. There was quite a lot of genital stimulation during this and erections were common starting around puberty. I started playing with myself under my diapers once she left my bedroom, soon learned the wonders of ejaculating and orgasms. I understood with really knowing why that all the genital stimulation from mom diapering me was turning me on. I felt like it was wrong for me to feel that way but none the less hoped she would finish what she started instead of leaving me along and excited to play with myself and cum. Naturally once she left I fantasized her finishing off until I got myself off. My fantasy became even stronger when my mother told me she knew what I was doing and explained the birds and bees to me. Apparently she had noticed cum on my penis and diapers in the morning when she got me up to change me for school. Thankfully she never got mad at me, but I have to admit the fact that she was so nice to me, made me feel even guiltier about jerking off fantasizing about her touching me.

I occasionally fantasise about a scenario where I am restrained, a Dom examines / observes me and notices signs of arousal.

Although he knows I can't help getting aroused Dom decides I should be punished for being such a wet sub.

He than proceeds to stimulate me and forces me to have one orgasm after the other, several times over. Till I beg for mercy.

I occasionally fantasise about a scenario where I am restrained, a Dom examines / observes me and notices signs of arousal.

Although he knows I can't help getting aroused Dom decides I should be punished for being such a wet sub.

He than proceeds to stimulate me and forces me to have one orgasm after the other, several times over. Till I beg for mercy.

Please let your dreams come true, and enjoy the session !!

@4711koeln if I ever have the fortune to play this fantasy out, I may well write a blog about it. 😉

@4711koeln if I ever have the fortune to play this fantasy out, I may well write a blog about it. 😉

Surely it will be very welcome !!

@4711koeln if I ever have the fortune to play this fantasy out, I may well write a blog about it. 😉

I hope you get the chance to do so! Using the patient's/sub's uncontrollable/automatic bodily functions against her is one of my favorite dominant activities. I definitely enjoy punishing the patient for becoming aroused, for example; especially if I inform her that it's 'interfering' with my work. So much fun!

Very, very much so!

I can't possibly have a non-punushment orgasm. Have only my glans rubbed for with Vaseline (or better still, kinky smelling hair pomade) it's absolute torture, but bad lirtle boys like me deserve it.