Advice for a first time play doc with female patients

I'm preparing for my first play exam, and was wondering if any docs could give me any advice beforehand or if any female patients could share what makes their experience memorably good. Thanks!

Every patient has different wants and limits, so open communication beforehand and during is big. And know your own wants and limits, the best ones have been when the patients and the doctors wants and limits match closely. Don't push past a limit, that's about as safe as playing catch with a live explosive. Never attempt a procedure you don't know how to extricate a patient from if something goes wrong.

If you and the patient have both done the ground work, then it will be great.

Keep it simple. Don't over schedule the playdate. You're going to want to do a ton of stuff because it's your first time. Keep your expectations reasonable.

Regardless of the gender of the participants, I will second @hearmyheart on communication and making sure you are comfortable performing anything you would want to perform. I would ask your partner explicitly what are their hard limits regarding sexual contact and causing pain/discomfort. I would also ask are there particular things that he/she/they/them want included in the play. Fetish play is erotic and very much sexual for many, so you should know where the line is set and what is included in the line. Likewise, you should also tell your partner what your limits are.

An example of a play exam I did many years ago with a female play patient and our discussion on consent (not illustrative of how anyone else's sessions should or will go): She was up for all normal general exam stuff: history intake, heart and lungs, abdominal exam, neuro checks, musculoskeletal exam, etc. She explicitly asked for a very thorough breast exam, and was on board for a manual vaginal and digital rectal exam. When asked about sexual limits, she stated she was totally fine with having me (the play doc) stimulate her with hands or toys to orgasm, but did not want to reciprocate anything sexual to me as the play doc. As the play doc, I told her that I was totally fine with her limits, what she wanted included in the exam, and stated she has every right to amend what she is comfortable with or say no to anything I was doing in the exam. I did state I was looking to do a lot of auscultation and pulse palpation as a part of the exam (that being one of my favorite things in exams), including when stimulating her, to which she was totally okay with.

As has already been said, keep your expectations reasonable. Talk to your patient beforehand and have a good plan in place for how the exam should go. I recommend Making an exam checklist that you can keep on a clipboard and refer to. Don’t do anything either of you are uncomfortable with. If your patient says “no” then respect that. If your patients asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with, don’t be afraid to say no yourself.

I remember The first time I pulled On the gloves, all of the pre planning I had gone over in my head seemed to fall out of my ears lol. Just have fun and know that it won’t be perfect, but it will be something to build on.

Have a plan, set limits & expectations…for me scripted is boring I like spontaneous 🍑🌡️