Are you submissive, neutral, or respectfully assertive to your health care provider?

When you interact with them, do you retain your confident and empowered adult attitude, or do you become meek and submissive while the doctor briefly assumes the role of a pseudo-parent?

With a female doctor, I almost feel like it's mommy bandaging my busted knee or feeling my feverish forehead all over again. With a male doc, I feel like it's two old college chums getting reacquainted.

Maybe someone with a greater understanding of psychology can explain why I feel the way I do- meek, submissive, and boyish with a lady doctor, and buddy-buddy with a male doctor?

I want to know what they're planning and why. It's my choice as an adult whether It's going to happen, it is MY body.

I will be fairly neutral to being somewhat assertive. I make sure to ask a lot of questions and have a lot of discussion regarding their recommendations so that I can make an informed decision. So I guess it can be somewhere in the middle because I work with them as much as possible but sometimes a plan is just not feasible and I work with them to find a different plan.

I usually assume that, being licensed and accredited doctors, they know what they are talking about. Better than I do.

Luckily though I haven't had many health care problems in many years, an appendicitis excepted, so I have little need to be a know-it-all when interacting with doctors.

A Doctor is a figure of authority, they know ( should know) what they are doing and why, not my place to question their motives.

Saying that, I don't feel " sexually submissive " during examinations / GP visits.

I don't play power games when it comes to my health care. You could say I declare neutrality. My doctor is a highly paid and very respected advocate/consultant but ultimately I am the one who is calling the shots. I trust her knowledge and expertise but in the end it is a partnership with me being the senior partner.

I usually assume that, being licensed and accredited doctors, they know what they are talking about. Better than I do.

Thats true for 95%+ of doctors. Some sneak through med school at or near the bottom of the class - typically they don’t become rocket surgeons! Even for highly competent doctors, I need to have some rapport with them

So I ask a lot of questions. I’ve had docs dismiss them as if I’m an idiot … they don’t last long. I’ve had others say “I didn’t think of that..that’s not a bad idea/question”….. I tend to trust them. One neurosurgeon told me he’s the “top gun in surgery and the previous doc was a boob” …. I found another doc.

The one who literally told me “I fucked up, should’ve done the surgery earlier rather than waiting for the problem to resolve itself”, and my wife almost died because of it …. I trusted him the most.

I likewise don’t trust dentists…wannabe doctors!

Most doctors are just body mechanics. Some are highly trained and some are best suited to handling colds, the flu, cuts and scrapes.

But they are just humans. I was raised to respect and trust them. Now I know better. Respect and trust are earned. I had a doctor tell me that Duragesic Patches were an immediate release drug delivery system like other opiate pills and liquids.

So now I listen and then read up on what they are saying. If i disagree with an exam I simply decline it, and offer to put my refusal in writing. I am the master of my body, not them. Unless it’s an emergency.

I very much relate to the submissive role of the patient following under the command of the doctor's orders-and usually, under the dominant male's orders. I don't really mind the gender when it comes to the doctor's care but, ultimately, I have a deep fascination with a male doctor's command. It's such a funny thing to me, as in real life, I don't do well with being told what to do, Anthony can attest to this lol; however, I relish in the idea of abiding and heeding my doctor's command's and wishes. Even during sex, I thrive in the submissive role.

In real life, I guess what it is is I strive to have control of my surroundings and feelings so much, that in play, I'm ready and willing to give up that control to get that exquisite release I need so that I can just function and not carry that extra burden. Release being the key word here.

When you interact with them, do you retain your confident and empowered adult attitude, or do you become meek and submissive while the doctor briefly assumes the role of a pseudo-parent?

With a female doctor, I almost feel like it's mommy bandaging my busted knee or feeling my feverish forehead all over again. With a male doc, I feel like it's two old college chums getting reacquainted.

Maybe someone with a greater understanding of psychology can explain why I feel the way I do- meek, submissive, and boyish with a lady doctor, and buddy-buddy with a male doctor?

@ILuvLadyDocs it is simple. Because you like lady doctors, it is in your name. You submit to lady docs. So you'll be submissive with them.

You don't submit to males. You see yourself as an equal...a buddy. No submission.

Whether it's a male or female doctor, I am polite and helpful. But I do ask questions and ask them to explain their comments. Even in a 'play exam'. For me it doesn't stop the enjoyment of being in the submissive role of patient.

For example, I was once having a colonoscopy. It was without sedation. The doctor did a rectal exam and announced he was going to start. I wasn't going to miss watching a visual scan of my lower bowel. So I turned round on the table and said (something like) 'Oh no. I want to see this and want you to talk me through it, please.' He was brilliant. The trolley was moved round so I had a view of the screen. He talked me through the whole thing.

Normally neutral, definitely respect them. Trust them until they give me a reason not to. But definitely have no issues asking for explanations and questioning if the explanation doesn't make sense. Always research any procedure suggested and get second opinions. I also always ask if a there are alternatives to spending money on unnecessary tests. I have a cough that has lingered after a cold. Went yesterday and she said everything sounds clear, likely just residual from the virus that needs to work itself out. Then says why don't we order a chest X-Ray? I'm like what do you expect to find if you just told me all sounds clear? My next question, can this wait a little longer? unless it is free 😃 (I have good health insurance, but still, time is money) Then it was give it 2 weeks and message me if it doesn't clear and we can go from there.

My wife who is submissive when at the doctor would have went and got the test.

Granted I am definitely always skeptical of US healthcare and if something is just another way for them to make more $$.

Remember this, half the doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.

As a TV tech I always envied them because they only had 2 different models that didn't change every year, to work on and even those were very similar. TV manufacturers all had their own models and several different ones each year. The only thing doctors had to learn new each year was how to use the new test equipment and for the most part they farmed that out to others. When I bought a new $3000 piece of equipment I couldn't charge the customer for using it on his TV or I'd never see him again.

I likewise don’t trust dentists…wannabe doctors!

Me neither, only 1 dentist ever earned my trust, she is my current one even then I only go when in excruciating pain. On my registration paper under " allergies" I wrote DENTISTS

She looked at the document and then set it down and asked me exactly why, and how WE could overcome this. We have an understanding now, she explains all she needs to before starting treatment. Once she starts I have loud worship music or Dutch music playing through my headphones

I can not hear her or her blasted machines.

I close my eyes and lose myself in the music

@Secret_sub That sounds like a bit of self administered sensory deprivation. While at first you are resistant to going, once you are in the chair I think you are solidly in the Submissive category.

Just imagine the internal conflict if your dom instructed you to schedule a simple teeth cleaning checkup at the dentist. No scary tools or procedures, just 20 minutes in the chair with your mouth open and thorough cleaning. Dom might also get to choose what you are listening to in your earphones. Oh, the possibilities.

@Hookajoe lucky for me my Dom and I have similar ideas about dentists lol. I am pretty sure he would not use a dental visit as a threat.

I'm usually neutral with healthcare providers. At times I've become more assertive when I've had questions or if I'm trying to understand a situation.

I'd say neutral, but if I've got a question or I'm not sure about something I will speak up.

Usually the last, "respectfully assertive." My latest go-round, I was very sick, which suppressed my assertiveness a bit, but normally pretty much my own person.

Interestingly, my colorectal surgeon had asked for a pretty full assessment prior to my colostomy reversal surgery, so the Docs (insurance will pay for it!--Things change when one is on Medicare) took the opportunity to order LOTS of tests. I think they would have given me a pregnancy test if they thought they could get Medicare to pay for it...

RN here. In hospitals you usually interact with nurses. No matter your detailed explanation of your situation, their only reply is "It's our policy". I suggest you be VERY assertive. And not necessarily be excessively respectful. A fool should be treated as such. Remember, it's your right to refuse anything those automatons want to do to you. And I do!

As a young person, boy, teen, even adult in my 20s, I was pretty submissive, allowing my parents to take the lead while I was examined. But now I am respectfully assertive, and I have dumped doctors because I did not like their approach.

Somewhere between neutral and assertive. I'm in my 50s and in relatively decent health. I don't take any prescriptions and I'd like to keep it that way. I typically only see my doctor for an annual physical so I do tend to ask a lot of questions, knowing I won't see him again until next year.

I have dumped doctors in the past. At my age, I can't abide a 5-minute annual physical that neglects a prostate exam or any meaningful conversation.

I did dump a dermatologist as well, but over billing issues, not her exam technique.

I try for respectfully assertive but I’ve gone full submissive at times - which really pisses me off when it happens. The older I get the less I do that.

Submissive, assertive, respectful.. ??? Depends on the situation. If the female nurse is doing her job and making me fell better, than whatever she wants works for me. A "know it all" doctor who seeks 100% control I push-back when necessary or completely put them down by literally walking out on them -and I have more than once. And for the new generation of "hospitalists" I simply tell then I want a real doctor, specialist , and ask or rather demand a senior administrative authority to fix the situation. And best of all is when you find a healthcare provider, doctor, nurse .. who you can interact with and is providing both good care and service (care and service are not the same) than its easy to get along.

I would have to say more neutral. I do ask a lot of questions. I try to ask informative questions but not in a assertive or aggressive manner. I have also learned from some of my wife's experiences you have to speak up and be aggressive once in awhile because there are some providers who will try to manipulate and out right lie to you. I know that sounds bad but it is the the way it is.