Best Way to Humilate Sub During a spanking?

Hubby is wanting to know.

Personally, being told that your body is betraying you, is the most humiliating thing for me. If during a spanking, my spanker would check how wet I was, would definitely add to the humiliation.

From me as a dominant…

To have her in a larger room, not something romantic. Bright lights on.

Let her undress to what is needed. So depending on her clothes, to her bra and panties, or from the waist down.

Give firm orders.

Let her stand in front of you and let her say out loud why she deserves to be spanked. What did she do wrong? Let her make her excuses for that.

Lower her panties yourself. Check her vulva. Let her spread her legs so her labia can be spread to see if she is aroused.

Let her get over your knee or bent over the chair.

Spread her ass cheeks, or let her spread those herself, to see if she is fully clean.

Start the spanking.

Let her count out loud the strokes.

Tell her how her skin changes color.

Check her labia for wetness during the spanking and tell her about your findings.

After the spanking let her stand in the corner with her panties down. Red ass cheeks stay fully visible.

Or when her panties were wet before the spanking, let her put her panties over het head, her crotch in front of her nose so she can smell herself.

Let her get out of the corner to let her tell what she has learned so far and let her make her excuses again.

My wife has done this a few times. First she knew when a parcel delivery was due and started to spank me. When they arrived I was told to stand facing the wall where my red bottom could be seen by the delivery person.

Then the next time, she started to spank me just before 2 of her freinds arrived. She shouted for them to come in and as they came into the kitchen there I was naked over her lap in the process of being spanked, which she continued to do while they giggled and watched. I then had to stand facing the wall while they sat and chatted.

So humiliating.

For different people, different things can be humiliating. However, it is important to remember that there are actions that are humiliating and acceptable and there are actions that are too humiliating to be accepted. I think it's worth discussing this in advance.

I've previously related a fantasy of mine: spanking my sub to tears, having a jar of Vaseline handy. Then after the spanking is completed, inserting my finger in her bottom and holding it there until she's able to be quiet.

For different people, different things can be humiliating. However, it is important to remember that there are actions that are humiliating and acceptable and there are actions that are too humiliating to be accepted. I think it's worth discussing this in advance.

i appreciate this. To me, the "acceptable" humiliation/degradation is sort of mysterious and individual. To me there's a cognitive dissonance to it because it is desired and arousing, yet humiliating often because there are elements of degradation involved.

To me, what makes humiliation/degradation work is when both the giver and receiver want/need it (i.e., the giver wants/needs to give it and the receiver wants/needs to receive it). That seems obvious to me, but it isn't always the case in BDSM dynamic. Personally, i despise what i see as 'role play' if/when one or both are playing a role that isn't connected to a real need/desire. E.g., maybe the giver really wants/needs to spank, and the receiver is just going along for the ride because that's what their mate wants. To me, what makes humiliation/degradation work is when it is exercising mutual need/desire, while it may evoke what i believe are culturally conditioned emotions, it's simultaneously deeply affirming and nurturing.

To me, communication is one of the most important parts of understanding and connecting mutual need/desire, but we are often not self aware or practiced at being open/vulnerable. There's a common (subtle) notion that the person is just going to know what we need/want. i don't think "communication" has to be as clinical as that may read... although there are a lot of people here who might also get turned on by communication that is clinical lol. Which again seems to emphasize to me the individuality of this, that there cannot be a generic answer to the question?

i also don't think communication is equal to understanding all the why's and wherefores behind our needs/wants.

I've previously related a fantasy of mine: spanking my sub to tears, having a jar of Vaseline handy. Then after the spanking is completed, inserting my finger in her bottom and holding it there until she's able to be quiet.

Wow, that fantasy is overflowing with mind fuck to me, really awesome stuff.

I didn't have to give much thought to this. Spank him in front of someone. The possibilities are endless. It could be one of your friends, your mother, his mother, your sister, or his sister, Spanking stories are filled with such stories.

@Fru17gum Did your wife's friends know she spanked you before they witnessed you being spanked?

Also, I love the idea of the delivery boy. I can imagine him telling his fellow delivery workers.

Yeah.. we don't spank in front of people, because no one knows we are a DD couple

I'm a sub but I don't have any spanking experience. Though I think about it a lot more since joining Zity. I know for me the humiliation would be more due to the exposure and lack of control than the pain itself.

Like most of said humiliation is different for everyone , being spanked by your gf / wife in front of others is very humiliating as is being put in panties and nylons for a spanking , kissing the dons heels and feet is another one ,but generally having ones penis laughed at before a spankng is always a good one

Since hubby wants to know I'm guessing Sub is a female. Having a video camera trained on her clitoris to watch it as it engorges connected to the large screen TV so all the guest viewers can see it well and if there is any squirting involved or other fluids produced that too. Maybe having some of the guests assist in the spanking would be nice, particularly if there are any males.

Checking them for arousal always adds to the embarassment. Then telling them what you see, as you gently glide your finger up and down their wet vagina adds even more intensity. Of course, naughty girls who are aroused from their spanking get an even harder and longer spanking, perhaps followed my an enema, to prep their bottom for a session of anal discipline!

Definitely spank him in front of some pretty female witnesses who he thinks are attractive and he may enjoy innocently flirting with

I'm female sub.. we are in a dd relationship

To be honest, I haven't really been spanked so far, but the spanking in itself would already be quite humiliating.

Add to that, the fact that there would be female witnesses as well as that the one who spanks, also takes off my pants and briefs,

it would be even more humiliating. If she then would also regularly check the possble arousal, it would end up in complete humiliation and

arousal, I guess ...

A few more details....I've said before, to spank him in front of some other females he finds attractive and even likes to innocently flirt with... lets assume they are your friends and wont be horrified/put off by it, but make the announcement that he is about to spanked on his bare bottom over your knee right now (and YES...IN FRONT OF these women!) a surprise. So both he and they hear it for the first time as you announce it.

Would love to see their jaws drop and faces go wide-eyed with surprise, and then as the shock wears off to see their faces start beaming with an excitement of 'cant wait to see this happen!' as they sport big smiles, and giggle and have sexy, teasing, smug smirks on their faces. And of course watch his face turn beet red and disbelieving as he gives you a pleading look that says "pleease.. not in front of them...and NOT ON MY BARE bottom!!!!" While you are spanking him, periodically make him look up and talk to the women who are watching his rear end turn bright red. Make him apologize to them for whatever he needs to apologize for... even if its just "I'm sorry you have to see me be spanked on my bare bottom like this Tracy". Looking them in the eye while he's being spanked and seeing a certain look of 'satisfaction' and with confident, smug smiles on their faces will definitely add to the embarrassment... and be sure to give him some extra hard SPANKS as he's talking to them so they can enjoy seeing him grimace as he tries to maintain some modicum of dignity and keep his composure without crying or wailing.

You can even have your girlfriends squat down in front of him, cup his chin and hold his head up as they encourage him to 'take it like a man'... and giggle. After his spanking, make him spread his cheeks and stick a rectal thermometer in his bum. Of course throughout his spanking (and de-panting), you can encourage your girlfriends to take pictures or a video. They dont necessarily need to spank him too, but at the very least after he gets off your lap, he should stand in front of them with his pants down, and be made to look them into their smiling eyes (maybe thanking them for watching him get spanked), and you could encourage each of them to caress and gently pat his rear end and teasingly cooing into his ear saying such things as how much they enjoyed watching him get his naughty rear end spanked, how they will never forget this, how they cant wait to share the video/pics with their other girlfriends, asking him if it was embarrassing for him to have his pants down and his bottom spanked in front of them, teasing him about being a grown man and being spanked like a naughty boy, etc... and of course each woman should also give him at least one hard SPANK on his bum cheeks before he's allowed to pull up his pants

Tell them they are going to get extra spanks for having skidmarks in their underwear. 😢

Spanking is 90% mental and what humiliates you may not humiliate me. For instance, many people think nudity is humiliating, but for me it’s not. Pants and underwear down screams SPANKING, nudity is just nudity so for me pants and underwear down is much more humiliating and mentally powerful.

For all those saying spank in front of other people I have to say I wouldn’t do this. Real life isn’t the way we fantasize it, many people would find it abusive or strange and you may end up with a lot of actual real world problems you never considered just for a moment of humiliation. That being said, you can spank in semi-public areas sometimes where no one is likely to recognize you and make the sub very aware others might see.

To me making the punishment as childish as possible makes it very humiliating. Spanking with something innocent looking that makes them react loudly is humiliating. The best thing to do is talk about it and find out what checks the boxes for the sub & try to incorporate those things without letting them script it out. Always stay in control as the Dom while doing the things that work for them… that’s what makes it work.

I was offended and sort of put out well it was really disappointing. My Husband had me over his knee swatting my arse I was really wet mewing and feeling it. The phone rang and he lifted me off put me on the floor got up and answered it!

@Bad_Princess OMIGOD ! I hope it wasn't a telemarketer !!! Your husband's a cad. Ha ha.

Spank your sub in front of a full length mirror… nothing more humiliating than seeing your sub’s facial expressions when they are bent over naked and are able to watch not only each blow, but how their body responds to each stroke….

Position the spankee in the knee chest position facing a sink. Have them watch wach you prepare a large soapy enema with a long thick colon tube. Hang the bag in front of them. While they are being spanked Devine in detail the enema they will be getting.

@Sphincter

Spank your sub in front of a full length mirror

I actually enjoy watching myself taking a swatting. So bring out the mirror.

@EnemaAndIvory

wach you prepare a large soapy enema with a long thick colon tube. Hang the bag in front of them. While they are being spanked

Is this a bad thing or an incentive? Personally having my bottom tightened up slap after slap while looking at that bag and tube would make me so horny I would be begging for it. Spank me as long and hard as you like as long as that big soapy, cramp-inducing fill is the reward I will give you my all.

Oh @Bad_Princess you are a girl after my own heart. I would love to administer such an enema to a woman who could reall appreciate it. I have so many ideas for enemas from woderfully sensual to very challenging. How fun it might be to give you 3qts of a strong Ivory mixture with both balloons of an inflatable nozzle deep in your sigmoid.

@EnemaAndIvory

Lots of soap and a touch of glycerine. Tie me down and make me hold it for a long time. I can imagine those delightful cramps and the painful gasses puffing me up. Pee and slobber flowing, panting and mewing. My insides straining to poop those balloons out to no avail. Embarrassing squeaky farts and little dribbles pass but that is all.

My sort of fun. Set the timer for one hour. One hand swat in the cunt while full for every minute under if an early release is requested and granted.

One good girl point for every minute past one hour. I will save and trade them for something special later. A foot massage possibly?

@Bad_Princess Absolutely. Be a good dork and earn 5 points. I’ll send you to get a red manny-pedi, and the we will both enjoy your feet and toes. You’ll be squealing with delight.

@EnemaAndIvory

@Bad_Princess Absolutely. Be a good dork and earn 5 points. I’ll send you to get a red manny-pedi,

I prefer black or deep purple. Other than that OK