Delayed circumcision

Some men here report that their parents wanted them circumcised at birth, but this was impossible due to circumstances. What happened later?

To me, nothing happened in the way of getting cut because my mother was dead set against it, despite my father being insistent.

From time to time, my father would launch into a sermon explaining that if I didn't want my prick amputated by the time I was at mid-life, I should get circumcised. Very embarrassing to hear since he usually reserved such rants of his when we were in the car and i couldn't jump out.

I know that one of my aunts and my grandmother would on occasion when I was still young (9-10 years old) check me out to see that, contrary to my father's gloomy expectations, nothing had become infected.

What also happened later was that even when my parents were in their late 80s and 90s, they would still from to time bring up the subject of my still delayed circumcision as one of the typical points of contention they argued about.

Very depressing to listen to when they started up in my presence.

My mom was going along with the cultural and medical norms of the time I was born, thinking that I would be circumcised. It never happened because I was born very prematurely, and spent a long time in the NICU. My parents opted not to do it thinking that I was already a high risk birth - and then why risk an elective surgery?

Growing up, my mom (who was a stay at home parent for most of my childhood years) would be a stickler for hygiene down there. My foreskin was likely retracted before it should have been, since I could pull it back as soon as I have any memories regarding my penis. Again, probably resulting from the contemporary advice of the day. Anyway, my mom warned me more than once that I had more extra skin than average and that it would be unusual to sexual partners, and if it ever became a problem I could get circumcised at her expense to fit in with all the other guys. I never took her up on the offer, but the foreskin hasn't ever gotten in the way of my sexual experiences. Even though I've had the first uncut penis for at least half of my partners, the reaction to that has generally been one of nervous anticipation or excitement to discover what it's all about, rather than any negativity.

Being circumcised as I was at 4 and 1/2 years or 5 years may seem delayed to The North American contingent but in the UK, in the post war period, up to perhaps the 70's, it is my understanding that was quite a normal age for a boy in the Uk to undergo the op'...?

@UK_Patient If it was for phimosis without balanitis, it may even be considered early. In many boys it's normal at that age to have a tight foreskin.

Being circumcised as I was at 4 and 1/2 years or 5 years may seem delayed to The North American contingent

That sounds like a somewhat cruel age to circumcise.

Old enough to understand the unpleasantness and fear of hospitals, but not old enough to understand the rationalizations given for circumcision. A 10 or 12 year old might be somewhat mollified by a hygiene or 'being like the others' argument.

@agracier In France, physicians tended to advocate circumcising for phimosis at 6 at the latest, and I suspect that the reason is that after that children may come to question the decision.

Growing up, my mom (who was a stay at home parent for most of my childhood years) would be a stickler for hygiene down there. My foreskin was likely retracted before it should have been, since I could pull it back as soon as I have any memories regarding my penis. Again, probably resulting from the contemporary advice of the day. Anyway, my mom warned me more than once that I had more extra skin than average and that it would be unusual to sexual partners, and if it ever became a problem I could get circumcised at her expense to fit in with all the other guys. I never took her up on the offer, but the foreskin hasn't ever gotten in the way of my sexual experiences. Even though I've had the first uncut penis for at least half of my partners, the reaction to that has generally been one of nervous anticipation or excitement to discover what it's all about, rather than any negativity.

When my mother refused his offer to modify my body the doctor told her she would have to retract it and wash under there at every bath. From as early as I can remember she did. Mine has never been a problem in fact my wife likes it. I tried holding it back one time because I wanted to see what that felt like. She was not a fan of my glans rubbing against her vaginal walls and told me to never do that again. Considering that attitude I was aghast to find our son's foreskin was missing when she brought him home from the hospital.

Considering that attitude I was aghast to find our son's foreskin was missing when she brought him home from the hospital.

@roscoe Did you ask her why she had him cut? How did she react? Did she know that you wanted to leave him intact?

@roscoe Did you ask her why she had him cut?

She thought it was the modern thing to do.

How did she react?

She was mad at me for asking.

Did she know that you wanted to leave him intact?

I didn't bring it up because she did NOT like it when I entered her with mine pulled back to see what it felt like. It didn't occur to me that she would wish that on whomever they entered.

For the most part, circumcision is an expectation and performed within days of a male child's birth. Unless there are cultural, religious, or very personal reasons to avoid it, my assumption is that a child will receive a circumcision. Doing so later in life is possible but likely more traumatic given the surgical task. It may also be that a single mom without a male influence could be unsure about doing it to her son. Either way, a circumcision later may allow for more personal choice.

Nick

Unless there are cultural, religious, or very personal reasons to avoid it, my assumption is that a child will receive a circumcision.

About 2/3 rds of males on earth are not circumcised.

The valid assumption therefore is that it is precisely religious and cultural issues that end up socially mandating the procedure.

If not for religion (two of them bear the responsibility) the practice of non-medically required circumcision would be negligible and virtually non-existent.

Https://vividmaps.com/global-map-of-circumcision/

There IS such a thing as removing the clitoral hood but if you try to look it up you get FGM so why wouldn't removing a male's equivalent part be considered MGM?

Since my father is circumcised, he is the one who demanded that I be circumcised as a child, especially since my penis was completely closed, it could not turn nicely and the glans came out, my mother somehow prevented him from doing so because she did not want to to undergo an operation as a little boy, since my mother was the one who was at home non-stop during my growing up, she took care of my hygiene, especially the pulling of the foreskin which was difficult, my father often suggested that it was time for me to be circumcised whenever he came in in the bathroom when my mother was bathing me and saw that the situation was the same down there, as time went by and there was no progress in pulling back the foreskin and my mother was more and more in favor of me being circumcised, she took me to the urologist several times and the deadline for my he was circumcised at the age of 12, it was very tense bathing by my mother when I was already a boy, especially when she tells me to pull back the foreskin and she says that it is no good and that I will have to be circumcised, sometimes he would have spontaneous erections while bathing and my mother was present all the time, it was very embarrassing, especially if sometimes my father also entered the bathroom, I was very shy and embarrassed, even a few times my mother tried to pull my foreskin a little harder, it was painful, but I endured everything just to not be circumcised , with great effort and constant stretching of the foreskin, I managed to pull it over the glans, I was a little scared because I didn't know if it was supposed to look like that, but when I went to the urologist with my mother for an examination, they said that everything was fine and now it's not necessary circumcision if they don't want it, mother was satisfied because everything was okay, while father was denied to be like him.

She thought it was the modern thing to do.She was mad at me for asking.I didn't bring it up because she did NOT like it when I entered her with mine pulled back to see what it felt like. It didn't occur to me that she would wish that on whomever they entered.

@roscoe That's weird. I saw this post a while ago from someone who said she preferred intact dicks, but had her son cut anyway: https://imgur.com/a/0BWot4H

Did your son ever ask you why he was cut? I wonder how he feels about it. I have a friend who was cut, even though his dad was intact. His dad was from Thailand, and he thought he was doing him a favor by having him cut to fit in with other boys in the US. He ended up resenting it, and wishing that he had been left intact. When he asked his dad why he didn't get cut himself, his dad said he was afraid of the pain, and that he was too old to get cut.

@roscoe That's weird. I saw this post a while ago from someone who said she preferred intact dicks, but had her son cut anyway: https://imgur.com/a/0BWot4H

That's the way she was.

Did your son ever ask you why he was cut?

@snippedtight No he never asked but we weren't that close. ie: The first night I came from work after she came home from the hospital with him she was sitting on the porch in the sun with him in his basket. I went to pick him up and was greeted with: You're hurting him! I still get that whenever I pick up a cat or a puppy. I tried to explain to her that in the army I used to babysit often for married friends. That gave me a night away from the barracks and them a chance to go out, and I never broke any of their babies. The only time I got to hold him was when friends came to visit. She'd put him in my lap so they would see daddy holding the baby.

When #2 came along 4 years later he became hers and #1 was mine so I took him with me to the drags. We had mostly family groups in the hot car pits so when it was your turn to make a run there was always someone there to watch your kids. Shirley's my age and she and her husband Jack had little Jack with them.

I don't think the topic of circumcision was ever seriously considered for me at birth. Once we moved to Australia, when I was around three years of age, I discovered that all my friends had been circumcised and I was the only one who wasn't. I think my father (uncircumcised) would have been open to the possibility of having me done so I wouldn't be teased and bullied as much as I was.

My mother was very against it and it was mainly her resistance that saw me grow up as the odd man out. I do recall my younger brother coming home from preschool one day and my parents noticing he had retracted his foreskin in the bath "because all the other boys looked like that". I listened intently to them discussing whether to take him along for a consult - and again, my father was ambivalent leaning toward doing it, but my mother really was pushing for nothing to happen and for my brother to remain uncircumcised.

I also recall my mother asking a lot of people what they had done with their own sons. Never once finding a parent who hadn't had their son/s circumcised. Even her own sister, a nurse, had had her son done. I don't know if she ever regretted or questioned her decision and I never told her that I actually needed to be circumcised when I was in my early 20's.

II think my father (uncircumcised) would have been open to the possibility of having me done so I wouldn't be teased and bullied as much as I was.

I was not circumcised having been born in Belgium. When young, our family moved to the US until I was in my teens. I also went to the local YMCA when nude swimming was still mandatory. Not that I paid it much mind, but I know that I was one of about 2 or 3 other boys who weren't cut. That out a very large group of kids, at least 50 or more.

The thing is though, I do not remember ever being teased or bullied about it. Nor it even being mentioned. Never. This when I was around 9, 10 or perhaps 11, which is an age at which a lot of bullying takes place I would imagine.

So, my thoughts are if the bullying thing were truly a real possible concern for parents or just an excuse? And if boys didn't go to mandatory nude swimming, why would parents surmise that there would be a lot of penis comparisons going on?

It just doesn't make sense to my experiences in the US where my non-circumcision was a non-issue. I can't even remember any of my friends mentioning it. And that was because we weren't expected to be comparing pricks with each other in the first place and being the well-brought kids that we were, we didn't do it. At least not with me.

I'm always surprised that teenage boys would be considered as attractions in locker rooms for being circumcised or not. In my days, if you paid too much attention to other boys' genitals, you would likely be considered gay, which in those days was very much an insult ("pédé").

When I was about 5 my mother explained the difference to me before I started school so I wouldn't wonder why I looked different from some of the other boy. I never actually saw a circumcised boy until the 7th grade showers. I guess we all knew some guys were and some weren't and just accepted it as the way things were. We didn't talk about it, like nutjob says, we didn't want to be the one who notices such things. Being gay wasn't heard of yet, the word was "queer or homo", Homo was just an insult but calling someone queer would get you a fat lip.

It always seemed that the cut guys had larger penises which I surmised was due to not being squished by a foreskin.

It always seemed that the cut guys had larger penises which I surmised was due to not being squished by a foreskin.

Probably a false impression because one sees a bulbous glans that is moreover usually a different coloring, so it looks somewhat swollen..

When not cut, the foreskin usually tapers off and should give the penis a more elongated and (dare I say elegant) look because the foreskin gets narrower towards the end.

Besides, I bet if you measure a non-circumcised penis and include the length to the tip of the foreskin, these should be somewhat longer.

When not cut, the foreskin usually tapers off and should give the penis a more elongated and (dare I say elegant) look

I'll agree with elegant but I may be prejudiced.

Well, I'm happy for you that you never had to experience the things I went through. I guess Australia back in the day was a little like the wild west and less socially civil than other parts of the world. Made my early life a misery and I've heard from other people in my generation who had it similarly tough. One person I spoke to said he would get "Foreskin" shouted at him every day upon entering the school grounds. I can well imagine it.

One person I spoke to said he would get "Foreskin" shouted at him every day upon entering the school grounds. I can well imagine it.

I believe it happened, but in my mind it makes me wonder what kind of psycho-emotional disorder kids who shouted things like that suffered from.

They must have had some serious socialization dysfunction problems and be prone to extreme forms of social exclusion. If they insulted him because of an otherwise small covered up body part no one saw anyway, I hate to think how they would react to people who were even more openly visually different than themselves.

They must have had some serious socialization dysfunction problems and be prone to extreme forms of social exclusion. If they insulted him because of an otherwise small covered up body part no one saw anyway, I hate to think how they would react to people who were even more openly visually different than themselves.

I wasn't at his school but certainly the kids who bullied me at my school were just as average as anyone else. Little boys can develop a pack mentality and some of them unfortunately enjoy it when they know they can seize on someone else's difference and get a reaction from doing so.

I wasn't at his school but certainly the kids who bullied me at my school were just as average as anyone else. Little boys can develop a pack mentality and some of them unfortunately enjoy it when they know they can seize on someone else's difference and get a reaction from doing so.

@snoman it isn't just boys that develop this. Girls can be just as bad, if not worse.

@snoman it isn't just boys that develop this. Girls can be just as bad, if not worse.

I agree. I had 2 girls for playmates growing up, no boys in the neighborhood. One of them could be the meanest person I knew at times. Once she hit the other girl over the head with a #10 tin cutting her bad enough to require stitches. She was famous for ripping up the birthday or Christmas card you just gave her. If she was mad at you she would go home to get it so she could tear it up right in front of you.

Again, to me, there only can be one reason for men/boys to be circumcised, and that would be a medical reason. All other reasons are pure genital mutilation, and exactly the same as cutting away the clithood.

If that skin would be useless or a danger because of build up of bacteries and a risk for health, nature would have taken it’s course long before we would even know it. Once upon a time, we had a tail also, well, it’s gone.

It mostly is done because of religion, culture or the belief it’s good for hygienic reasons. Even for medical reasons, we should be careful. The foreskin of a boy starts to get free from the glans at around 7-9 years old. And seen it now with my youngest son. He is 9 and now he can easily pull it back since about a year. He tried earlier and it did hurt. So, I told him to wait and leave it alone. He did and it’s fine now. He can clean it and also does that now after I told him how to. No issue at all, even when a doc wrote a note we should let him be examined for phymosis. Not needed, he was 6 at that time. (And I refused) And what’s new, there is nothing wrong at all. We also have to admit that all those circumcision procedures bring quite some money in the wallet of the hospitals and doctors … that might also be a reason why they talk quite fast about phymosis …

I had a friend who got circumcised at 19 when he joined the Army (US) and he later bitterly regretted it. I had another friend growing up who had it done, both him and his brother, when he was 14 and his brother was 11. Their bio dad had never been in the picture and their mom married a Muslim man and she converted to Islam. I don't think the boys were "forced" to do it, per se, but I know there was a lot of pressure on them and it stressed my friend out. He was upset by the actual procedure and even as he got over it, over time, he still had a bit of a grudge against his stepdad and his mom for pushing it on him.

[EDIT] I don't want to give the wrong impression. My friend and his brother really liked their stepdad and appreciated his involvement in their lives. I think he wanted them to convert to Islam, but he did not make them do it. Their affection for him inspired them to take those steps. One of those steps - and I am sure it was not the most important one - was circumcision, which my friend honestly did not want to do, but felt it needed to be done to please his stepdad.