Looking back what, spankingwise, would have been better for you

I was reading a post in the spanking section and started to wonder if I could live my life over, and if I could decide what would be best for me when it came to being spanked what would that be? The same as it was? Or would I opt for something different?

Thinking about this from my perspective now, not what I thought at the time, I'd say:

* I should have been spanked more often, held more accountable. Not a lot more, she was pretty good about making sure I didn't stray too far, but 10 to 20% more spankings would likely have been good for me.

* One thing I'd have benefited from more of was the strap. Both on my hands and bottom. Mom really didn't like to use the strap on any of us, she'd had the same strap applied to her palms and bottom growing up and was always reluctant, even apologetic, when she felt it was warranted.

* I think the severity was about right. Punishment fit the crime most always and while there were times I might have been over spanked for something there were times I got off too easy. For 90% of the spankings though I'd say mom had hit the mark (pun intended) right on.

* Tying the last two together, the strap and severity, although she didn't want to use the strap on me when she did she didn't slack off. She'd tell me she was going to use the strap because she knew how much it hurt and it was that that would teach me the lesson I had to learn. So, it would have to be a 'good strapping' and it always was.

There may be other things I'll add as I think more on this. In the meantime I'll send this off to see what others might have to say.

I was hoping to hear from others on this and wonder if it was because my post got lost in the rush, or if it's just no one else has anything to add?

One thing I'd add is looking back at the life I've enjoyed, the strong family bonds, all those sorts of things that really matter, and when I compare myself to friends who weren't spanked I know I'm lucky mom gave it to me when I needed it. I suppose some here might feel the same, others will resent having been spanked and feel it did them no good at all.

I'm on the Thames link coming back from London having been to an awards ceremony at the Royal Lancaster Hotel. I shall respond so please don feel despondent

So, I'm home and settled down to a hot chocolate and a smoke in the garden. It's 23.39 and I also let the dogs out so I hope no barking at the time of night.

If I had my time again? The biggest thing I would do is brace my sexuality a lot lot earlier. I have spend a long time being a sub to my wife, almost exclusively but I now know I have missed so much.

I would explore spanking more but I would also embrace BDSM in more detail and more pleasurable.

I am 59 and in any respects missed a very big boat but I still have fun but not as much if I rebranded myself.

Interesting to hear that you had your hands strapped. My mom was opposed to spanking on the bottom for some reason, but our palms were fair game for her strap, identical to the one she had in classroom . This was in Canada, so it was the standard rubber strap. Hurt like hell, but now wish I could feel it again.

Bare naked by the girl next door.

I used to fantasise about being spanked by the girl next door when I was about 11 or 12 (she was about 17 or 18 then). She used to wear Scholl's wooden flip-flops and I used to fantasise about her spanking me with those, but it never happened. My mum didn't have a pair of those and I had to wait until I was an adult to experience being spanked with one (for pleasure, not punishment).

I can honestly say that I can't think of anything that I would prefer had been handled differently regarding the discipline/spankings that I received growing up (from my parents and other elder family members -- and, other adults, like school teachers, Sunday school teachers, etc).

Although we post a lot about spankings on Zity, I really wasn't spanked a lot, because the correction/discipline was effective, and trained me to have SELF-discipline (thereby, avoiding punishments).

When I did misbehave, other discipline was usually tried first. But, if I was openly defiant/rebellious (disobedient, disrespectful, and/or dishonest), a trip over my mother's lap, or a dreaded "appointment" with my father in his workshop (where the paddle, the strap, and/or the hickory switch were administered), always taught me a lesson!

One thing that caught my interest in this discussion thread was the strap being used on the palms of the hands. This only happened to me a few times and there was always a very specific reason. If/when I used my hands or feet to hit or kick somebody (without a valid self-defense excuse), my father had a special way of dealing with it. First, I would receive a "normal" spanking on my bare bottom. Then, while I was still standing in front of him (naked and crying), he would ask me, "Which hand(s) and/or feet did you use to punch/kick [the other person]?" I would tell him, and he would use a rubber strap (actually, a 15-inch section of automotive serpentine belt) on the palm(s) of the hand(s) and/or the sole(s) of the foot/feet that I had used for the unprovoked punching/kicking. For example, if I had punched my sister with my right hand and kicked her with my left foot, he would whip the palm of my right hand and the sole of my left foot. These were VERY painful punishments, and my punching/kicking tantrums were quickly and permanently corrected at a very young age (like 6-7.y.o.).

Interesting topic and one Ive given much thought over.

As explained in my other posts, I was looked after and spanked by an older couple from time to time. I would have definitely benefitted from being spanked by them more often. As I got older I was spanked by just the man in his study. I would have continued spanking me in the living room in front of his wife, irrespective of my age. I was sometime spanked bare bottom in front of younger boys and girls and it would have happened more often. I occasionally became erect through shame/exposure/embarrassment though this was never mentioned. I think I should have been questioned and attention drawn to what was happening. Finally I would have had the leather slipper far more frequently when I was older so I was in tears with my red bottom and genitals on show to them and their neighbours and friends when I had been naughty. I believe these changes would have done me good.

Interesting to hear that you had your hands strapped. My mom was opposed to spanking on the bottom for some reason, but our palms were fair game for her strap, identical to the one she had in classroom . This was in Canada, so it was the standard rubber strap. Hurt like hell, but now wish I could feel it again.

@Hank_S Yes, while not Canadian we spent summers at a family cottage in Canada where both an aunt and a neighbor introduced mom to hand strapping. (I later learned mom had had the strap, a leather one, on the palms of her hands too so it wasn't totally a new thing to her.) What was new was the sort of rubber strap they used and procured for her. It was about 14/15 inches long, just over an inch wide and less than 1/4 inch thick. More than 1/8 inch though.

She also had a leather strap but when she'd strap my hands usually it was the Canadian strap she'd use. Unlike getting it on my bottom when she strapped my hands I'd be looking at her, see the grim look of determination on her face, have to look at her as she told me what was going to happen and why, answer questions, and then see her raise the dreaded strap up ....

You're right, it hurt like hell but in some ways exciting too.

Also exciting was when my sisters would get it. Did your mom strap anyone else in the family?

Tom

I simply wish I had been given a real spanking! A proper bare bottom, over the knee, old-fashioned, arse tanning! From my Mum or some other strict, no-nonsense lady! Of course back then I was jolly glad I did not get one; since it would obviously have hurt like hell! But in 'hindsight' - no pun intended - I really feel now I missed out! HAHA!! Almost that I had a deprived childhood! LOL

No, I don't believe in spanking kids (all I will say on the subject, so please don't report me), and I think it was more damaging to my relationship with my mom than helpful.

HOWEVER - I absolutely would have played spanking games with other kids - something I foolishly did not when I had the chance.

I was spanked only rarely growing up, and definitely think I should’ve been spanked a LOT more. I had some serious attitude problems that never got straightened out until later in life, and knowing how spankings affected me, especially as a teenager, I’m convinced I would’ve been reformed before adulthood had I been spanked consistently in my teens including 18-19.

A basic OTK, bare hand to bare butt spanking about once a month would’ve been about right. There were a few times I think the belt was warranted but not necessary on a normal basis.

I will also say that the people who spanked me later in life were the people I respected the most as an adult. My stepdad could make my butt clench well into my 20s by just raising his voice!

Also, what definitely was not effective with me were single swats on the seat of the pants. My mom employed this disciplinary tactic a lot, and it was not effective. I resented it. A real spanking on the bare butt was much different.

@Vintage1968 A proper bare bottom, over the knee, old-fashioned, arse tanning! From my Mum or some other strict, no-nonsense lady!

I like to think and fantasize about this when I'm horny. Having had permissive parents, as they were called in the 1950's; I wondered what it would be like to have had strict parents who would spank at the drop of a hat.

There is nothing better than a proper bare bottom, over the knee, old-fashioned, arse tanning from one's mum or some other strict, no-nonsense lady!

I like to think and fantasize about this when I'm horny. Having had permissive parents, as they were called in the 1950's; I wondered what it would be like to have had strict parents who would spank at the drop of a hat.

So do I reddevil! I remember and this would have been in the 1979-1980 time period we had a lady called JANE ADAMS living next door to us! She was a teacher in her 20s and on hearing about how badly behaved and rude I was to my Mother said to her: "If I were you; I would take down his trousers and pants; put him over my knee; and give him a damned good spanking!" My Mother never took Jane's advice so I never got to experience a proper bare bottom spanking! I often wonder what it would have been like if she had done so! Or what my life would have been like if Jane had been my Mum! She also said to my Mum that if it had been up to her I would on week days been in bed by 6PM; would have had to earn my pocket money; and she (Jane) would have made me dig our back garden! It was a knew house we had just moved into! I often thought and still do today, that my life with Jane as a Mum would have been one of chores, early bedtimes, strict discipline and old-fashioned bare-bottom spankings! I really missed out there! LOL

There is nothing better than a proper bare bottom, over the knee, old-fashioned, arse tanning from one's mum or some other strict, no-nonsense lady!

I agree with you completely, Andrew!

I was spanked only rarely growing up, and definitely think I should’ve been spanked a LOT more. I had some serious attitude problems that never got straightened out until later in life, and knowing how spankings affected me, especially as a teenager, I’m convinced I would’ve been reformed before adulthood had I been spanked consistently in my teens including 18-19.

A basic OTK, bare hand to bare butt spanking about once a month would’ve been about right. There were a few times I think the belt was warranted but not necessary on a normal basis.

I will also say that the people who spanked me later in life were the people I respected the most as an adult. My stepdad could make my butt clench well into my 20s by just raising his voice!

Also, what definitely was not effective with me were single swats on the seat of the pants. My mom employed this disciplinary tactic a lot, and it was not effective. I resented it. A real spanking on the bare butt was much different.

I completely empathise with you, oldskoolotk! I could have used some good old fashioned, bare bottom, over the knee, spankings, when growing up! Although it would not have been a panacea for all my problems and bad behaviour - l had some genuine problems, issues and a condition, which I was only diagnosed with many, many years later as an adult - it, nevertheless, would have almost certainly put a stop to a lot of my backchat, rudeness and deliberate disobedience! My Father was a lot stricter and would have not stood for any of that! I never dared answer him back! Like you my Mum only ever 'spanked' me on a fully clothed bottom; and they were not proper spankings by any stretch of the imagination!

I would make a change and the "spanking deficit" is entirely my fault. When I first entered a relationship with my third wife (that tells you something about me but I've been married to my 4th wife for 37 years) she told me she would accept corporal punishment if she "got out of line." During our marriage I gave her enemas and suppositories but only spanked her twice. Bare bottom, bare hand. Both times she was drunk and I was really annoyed. Wish I'd done way more spanking!!

I was looked after by a work colleague of my fathers called Aunty Maureen occasionally. She was strict and quick to take my underpants or pyjamas down and spank my bare bottom. I was around 9/10 at the time and was very ashamed to be seen naked and spanked by her. She would also bath me when I stayed and she was very thorough. She was very rough with a strong London accent and she was quite crude. She called my penis my Little Dickie or Prick. I would definitely have more spankings by Aunty Maureen. At the time I was fearful, embarrassed but also visibly excited when she spanked me.

I was looked after by a work colleague of my fathers called Aunty Maureen occasionally. She was strict and quick to take my underpants or pyjamas down and spank my bare bottom. I was around 9/10 at the time and was very ashamed to be seen naked and spanked by her. She would also bath me when I stayed and she was very thorough. She was very rough with a strong London accent and she was quite crude. She called my penis my Little Dickie or Prick. I would definitely have more spankings by Aunty Maureen. At the time I was fearful, embarrassed but also visibly excited when she spanked me.

Hello Simon, MY NAMESAKE, that must have been quite a formative experience for you! Obviously what Aunty Maureen did to you was at best highly questionable and inappropriate; and at worse abusive! Though one has to be careful when judging things that happened in the past by the standards of today! Having said that it does seem certain she got some kind of erotic and sexual satisfaction from spanking and bathing you! Her language was extremely colourful and pornographic as well! Even so, there is part of me that is really envious of you having these experiences and memories! Even though what she did was morally highly questionable TO SAY THE LEAST!!!! You say you were "fearful, embarrassed, but also excited when she spanked you! And as a child understandably so! Looking back now, are you glad you have these experiences to remember, reflect on and think about! Do you eroticise and sexualise these events and find them a sexual turn on! Lots of questions I know, and I hope you don't mind me asking them; I am just intrigued about how you 'process' and come to terms - if indeed you need to - these, what I assume are, highly formative experiences from when you were a child! I have nothing, remotely equivalent or even close to experiences such as these , to compare them with! As an adult, and in hindsight, what are your true feelings now about Aunty Maureen and what she did?

As a child, raised by a traditional Hispanic family, spanking was a common form of punishment for me. My spankings did not occur in a formalized way, but usually in a sudden flash of anger from my parents (most usually my dad, but sometimes my mom). My dad, who was the most frequent administrator of punishment, spanked me in hot torrents of whacks given with a hard slipper in his hand, my pants usually pulled down, over usually my underwear but sometimes also my bare ass. My mom usually used her hand in quick sudden spanks to stop me from doing something she didn't like.

To be honest, I know a lot of people would label my childhood punishments as abuse, but back then in the 70s and 80s, in a Hispanic family, these were common and routine. My own view: I'm glad it happened to me. Although I hated it at the time, and remember screaming and crying and fighting to get away from them, I now look back on my childhood spankings as very memorable experiences that give me amusement and arousal today.

I had friends who had "progressive" parents who didn't spankings. But I'm glad I had traditional parents who gave my ass a tanning, and made me shed tears over times I broke their rules. I would probably look back in regret today if it had not been part of my life (and yes I know that sounds crazy to some people, but we all get our pleasures from different sometimes odd things).

No interest in getting spanked by a parent or authority figure.

But I would have played spanking games - really regret not doing that!

Oh yes, looking back.... I've mentioned this before, but funny how this rattles around the old noggin, so here it is: Back when I as teen I became aware that my adult, sexy, beautiful cousin had an unusual interest in discipline and whippings, as she called it. Long story short; one holiday afternoon at a party hosted on her her estate I snuck off to remote part of the grounds to set off some firecrackers. To my surprise, my cousin managed to find me and mentioned I shouldn't be doing what I was doing and that I was a misbehaved teen in of a good whipping. While telling me this, she was touching the belt she's wearing, and suggested I best follow to the basement of her large house. Having none of what I figured she was up to, I said "no way!" and took off back to where everyone at the party was.

Nothing more happened then or ever after it. But I never forgot that, and in horny moments I fantasize about what might have happened had I followed her back that day...

Very interesting thought experiment!

If I think in terms of the question posed, what "would be best for me when it came to being spanked", "the same", or "something different"? a number of thoughts arise....

I was an only, and my parents were older and strict. I've written about that before. My dad was a bit of bully and my mom was moody. It would have been cool to have a brother or sister to kind of absorb my parent's energy with me. If they were having a hard time with each other, or dad with work, I think I sometimes bore the brunt of it, and it got taken out on my butt sometimes!!

Overall, I think I should have been spanked a little less frequently when younger (when it probably averaged 2 spankings a week), and maybe a little more in my teen years when I needed more discipline/attention, and I probably got spanked maybe every two to three months at most. I was silently floundering and needed limits. (I did get a few really intense punishments during those years, but I think "less and more often" would have been better for me!)

I also wished my parents were younger and more positive. I had friends who got spanked as often as me but I felt their parents were just kinder and more involved than mine were. In my view, they were helping their kids grow up right, while I was getting "punished".

Severity was about right, I guess for the time period, (late 60's and 70's). But I really hated getting the riding crop on my hands from my mother. The few times she did that, (it was as I was getting mature ,and before my dad took over all my punishments), I really hated her for it. And as someone mentioned below, seeing her face as she whipped my open palms made it really nasty somehow. (I'd take otk, bent over the desk, or chair anytime over that!)

I thought only catholic nuns spanked kids on their hands! Thats what my catholic pals used to tell me,otherwise i would never have heard of such a punishment! In regular schools the teachers used paddles on our butts.

I had the ruler on my hands for drawing on the desk when I was about 7, and our headmistress wasn't a nun.

I got spanked from when I was really young through my tween years as my main punishment, but around 12-13 and again at 15-16ish mom tried switching to grounding, no friends, no games etc since I was supposed to be more mature.

But both times I wasn’t ready for the more mature punishments, they weren’t effective and I got really bratty and spanking came back.

In retrospect it would have been better for my development if I was just spanked the whole time without those trials.

On a similar note, I do think like OP that about 20% more spanking would have been good for me to keep me consistently in touch with the rules. Honestly my best behavior and growth happened times when I was getting spanked A LOT, even for little stuff like not doing the trash quickly etc.

For some reason, whenever I found myself witnessing a spanking taking place, I'd always quickly leave the scene. Perhaps out of guilt because I was enjoying it, or fear I'd be next.

For some reason, whenever I found myself witnessing a spanking taking place, I'd always quickly leave the scene. Perhaps out of guilt because I was enjoying it, or fear I'd be next.

I think, reddevil. those feelings and emotions - guilt, fear, excitement - were experienced by nearly all kids who saw and heard other youngsters getting spankings in the past! Guilt at enjoying the 'entertainment' being provided by one of your peers because you knew, from experience, just how painful and humiliating spankings were! Fear because you realized just how easily it could be you getting your own bear bottom soundly spanked! Indeed, and this is something I and all of my siblings and cousins as well as some friends and acquaintances got caught up in, if you showed any smugness, glee and pleasure when seeing or hearing another kids spanking; at best you would be warned to, for example 'take that smile, smirk or grin of your face, unless you want a spanking yourself; at worst you would be told 'that as you find this so amusing, Young Man/Lady, then we should see whether or not it is quite so much fun when it is you who is actually getting it'! (The spanking) And excitement; well that speaks for itself! Especially as you got older and hit puberty and experienced all those sexual and erotic thrills that so often accompany bare bottom spankings! I think it is safe to say that witnessing an old-fashioned, spanking was for any child or teenager, one of the most ambivalent and conflicting experiences of their young lives!