What was your significant other's reaction when you told them you like to do enemas?

This subject has been talked about over the course of many threads, but I thought it would be good to consolidate the issue into a specific thread.

The question applies to married couples as well as pre-marriage situations or dating another person.

I would like to know what the reaction of the other person was when you said you like to do enemas for sexual pleasure?

I am very curious about those who did not reveal their enema fetish until after they were married and how the spouse reacted.

And finally, do you think it was a good decision to reveal your enema fetish or looking back in hindsight, would you have preferred to keep it a secret from your spouse?

When I met my current partner back in 1992 I was upfront about my interest in enemas. It never came up again even after 20+ years of marriage.

I was introduced to the nice parts of enemas by a significant other. She loved anal and I was always refusing her when she would try to even put a finger in my butt, After sex one night we talked about it and the one I got when I was nine. We decided it was a cleanliness issue. I told her I was afraid she would feel something inside me. She asked if I had felt anything in her in the month or two that she had been here. I said no. She said that is because she does enemas. I cringed. She asked if I would help her. Of course, I said yes. For a few weeks, I watched her have major orgasms while I was giving her enemas. I noticed every time I would get super wet which is not hard for me. Then I got up the nerve to try. No orgasm on the first bag when was done in quarters. Nor weeks of others until I finally held the whole bag and had the best orgasm ever. After we split up not because of a fight or anything but because of her ex. She had to move back to the state she was from. After that, I have used the same idea to introduce a new significant other about my likes for enemas. believe it or not most I actually think only one was against it. But she was weird anyway and only wanted sex when she wanted it. She didn't last long. Others if at one point they put their finger in my butt after we were done having sex and cuddling I act a little shocked and ask her if she felt anything or if was I dirty. I know they would say no. I then would say good the enemas did the job. Then I would talk about doing enemas and ask if they would help me. Some are just open to it all if they see your bag hanging in your bathroom. I have had one say,"OMG you don't douche do you? That is bad for you." Nope, it is to clean my ass. Then I had one who comes over a lot because she loves enemas. She is my sister's girlfriend's niece. She came over once as my sister and her girlfriend were walking out of my bathroom. The bag was hanging and dripping. She asked her Aunt what that was all about and my sister said, "ask Tabitha." She was very interested.

My last partner, my ex-Wife, divorced in 2010, reacted very well. We had many long text or phone conversations about my kinks before and after meeting. She was accepting of all 6 including enemas, and gave me many erotic enemas mixed with my other kinks before and after the wedding. We both enjoyed doing them with her as Domme and me as her sub enema receiver. After a few months of marriage and enemas, she suddenly revealed that her deepest sexual secret was that she always wanted her husband (me at the time) to give her sexual enemas, but could never bring herself to reveal that to her late 1st husband, a Christian Minister. Since we knew we were both Switches, I was delighted and we traded enemas after that, with me getting the majority of them as her sub. However, the sounds she made, the orgasms she had and her instant never-ending gratitude when I gave them to her were worth temporarily not receiving them myself. I’ve been taking them solo since then, but i still like being the enema sub so mine are usually with a Domme in my imagination running the whole show and giving me the wonderful “forced” enemas.

Eric

My girlfriend when I was in Junior High School and years later my wife, saw the douche/enema bag hanging in the shower of my parents home whenever they used the bathroom. My siblings an I started giving each other enemas as preteens, once our RN grandmother taught us personal hygiene and enemas became our responsibility. My teenage girlfriend having seen the bag hanging in the bathroom shower, asked my sister one afternoon to give her a couple of enemas, because she was having period cramps. My sister told her during the enemas that afternoon, she needed to ask her brother (meaning me) to do her enemas next time, because he does me whenever I ask him too. A month or two later, my girlfriend did just that, and we swapped enemas afterwards through the end of High School.

Years later, when my sister and girlfriend (future wife), shared an apartment. One evening after work, my girlfriend felt like she was coming down with the flu on top of just starting her period. When she mentioned it to her roommate. My sister suggested a couple of enemas would make her feel better. Telling her, that’s what she’d used for years, starting when she was a teenager. My girlfriend told her, that’s what her OB/GYN had recommended for period cramps when she was a teenager just starting on the pill, but hadn’t done so, in quite sometime. After some discussion, my girlfriend decided to take her advice, letting my sister give her a couple of two quart enemas using a curved douche nozzle. During the enemas, my sister gave my future wife that evening. She told her about my brother an I giving her enemas, whenever she asked. And her doing likewise, whenever her brothers asked. My sister liked using a curved douche nozzle whenever she took enemas, because she enjoyed the anal stimulation it gave as the nozzle was moved back and forth during the inflow. That evening, when she gave my girlfriend a couple of enemas, she naturally used the curved douche nozzle. Moving it back and forth while my girlfriend took both enemas. My girlfriend just loved it, an afterwards, they did enemas on a monthly basis during their periods. So, when we got married the next year, we already knew about each other’s enema activities.

I would say the reaction of partners I told of my interest in sexual enemas varied from sincere empathy to amusement. I didn’t tell every partner I was ever with, “ I would love for you to give me an enema”. The ones I did ask, I considered our relationship very special.

I told my wife early in our relationship of my interest. She was very receptive. I chose her to be my wife because of her loving qualities towards life, other people, and living things. To be honest, her initial reaction to my enema question was important in my decision. As our relationship progressed, I knew she was sincere. I waited until I found my “perfect partner“ and I feel blessed each day to have her In my life.

When ”enema time” comes around once a week, it becomes a very intimate experience we share together because she knows how much I enjoy her giving them to me.

I highly recommend anyone with any so called “kink”, whatever it is, reveal it to your partner early in your relationship. Your kink is part of who your are. It can be a blessing or a curse.

When 1st wife figured out my ruse of chronic constipation was so I could take enemas; she said it was perverted. I wrote in another thread "a couple of times a week I go off into the bathroom and spent an hour there. I guess I became complacent and didn't lock the bathroom door. To my surprise, she burst into the bathroom and caught me with a giant erection. I decided to come clean at that point (sorry for the pun).. but being caught actually added to my excitement!

When 1st wife figured out my ruse of chronic constipation was so I could take enemas; she said it was perverted. I wrote in another thread "a couple of times a week I go off into the bathroom and spent an hour there. I guess I became complacent and didn't lock the bathroom door. To my surprise, she burst into the bathroom and caught me with a giant erection masturbating to my enema bag hanging from shower rod. I decided to come clean at that point (sorry for the pun).. but being caught actually added to my excitement!

@reddevil How did she react after she caught you?? Was that how she discovered your ruse of chronic constipation? Was that the only time she caught and/or watched you??

I highly recommend anyone with any so called “kink”, whatever it is, reveal it to your partner early in your relationship. Your kink is part of who your are. It can be a blessing or a curse.

Maybe the best advice for all enema enthusiasts. If the other person runs for the hills after you tell them of your enema fetish, let them go you'll be better off in the long run. The ones that stay are the special ones that you should pursue.

There's a level of give and take - compromise - in a relationship to make it work. Obviously, if something is so important that you can't compromise on it, there may be a compatibility issue or a “wedge” that separates the two of you. We have an excellent sex life that we did establish before making the big commitment. Still, there are things I have compromised on without building resentment or frustration and I suspect my wife has as well. Some things (both in and out of the bedroom) that are important to my wife, I could care less about but I indulge her. Ditto for her. There are some other things I don't think either of us could compromise on, fortunately we haven't run into that wall. It didn't keep us from trying things - but if it didn't float both of our boats, we were OK with what we had. Sex (and I would equate fetishes with sex or at the same level) is important in a relationship, but it shouldn't be the only glue holding you together.

My 2¢

The guy who eventually became my husband would occasionally see my folding syringe in the bathroom drying on the towel rack and knew that I would douche after we had sex. He was very familiar with my menstrual cycle and one time I had taken an enema for PMS relief and the rectal nozzle was still attached rather than the vaginal one. This was before I decided to buy and enema bag and keep the folding bag strictly for feminine hygiene. We did have a conversation about enemas and he confessed that he had a few growing up, but otherwise no surprise or turnoff either.

@reddevil How did she react after she caught you?? Was that how she discovered your ruse of chronic constipation? Was that the only time she caught and/or watched you??

Lots of good questions - but before I get into them; I like your post below that began with “There's a level of give and take…”

Hi all ,from far far away ! My 5 euro cents.

Was pleasure to read all posts and congrats to Pro for asking question which marks built -in problem of what is primary in marriage; Mother nature's call to multiply and care for children or positive self-worth, including taking seriously one's own sexuality as it is. In my humble opinion you never can get a 50/50 balance, what obviously is a pity .

I was married 23 years (in protestant church), had so called ''kink'' since early childhood, and deep shame at that. So it was mind blowing to go to marry That girl, we were as brother and sister in church for 6 years, not even single time before marriage we talked about sexuality, we never even kissed, I had only one chance to see her in bikini on the beach, so I might say that we were forced to marry by environment we were in . I was first boyfriend for my 28 year old wife, me in my 26, I had some girlfriends before.

So, despite all christian morality I carried on with ''kink'', had to use every excuse to stay alone to gain time for, I should say ''play''.

It was difficult and risky.......psychologically downgrading , and, yes, I did try to lie to my wife to introduce enema in our life, yes, you guessed it, for health reasons, I had problems with my liver and suggested that enema can help detox , it worked somehow, she can help me , but real reason wasn't disclosed not nearly fulfilled. It couldn't stay this way, so after 15 years in marriage I partly told her about my childhood experiences in hope that she might understood me, she did but situation become complex with that, the aura of innocence around ''procedure'', as she called it, vanished, leaving both of us very uncomfortable about my ''kink''. She had no kinks to care about in herself, sex was not in top 10 list for her, as opposite for me as possible. However she didn't cringe or blame me, not one single time , she just was plain unenthusiastic.....

Then I got accident during my ''play'', blood vessel in my brain opened up a little, just to pass few drops.... I didn't loose control, but got pain and dreaded fear...after few days I was struck by , as I learned later, panic attack, which I took serious and feeling that I'm going to die I confessed her all my ''kinking'', it brought confession from her that she guessed it all from my behaviour.. Since then our relationship deteriorated, children got on their own and finally she's gone.

I'll say that this is sad story, and I think in retrospect it was a mistake to confess my ''sins'', although she didn't complain , subconsciously she refused me, or maybe it was built in from the start and this kink is just the trigger to shoot.

My best guess is that life is too short to explore and defend one's own sexuality, at best we can cling to some existing model, but loose on some personal needs, real or imaginary, who knows.

Second guess, thanks to this website, is men/ women ratio of us, participants , 80/20% at best ? So it's rationally impossible to find a women with same interest as mine,..... where do they get those willing models for ,I'll say "erotic'' content.... certainly not for my 5 euro cents, I think.

As I met my (then) SO in an enema website, the only question was “Are you ready for another?” The answer was always “Of course, fill me up!”

@reddevil How did she react after she caught you?? Was that how she discovered your ruse of chronic constipation? Was that the only time she caught and/or watched you??

How did she react - She wasn't upset; more disappointed that I found an enema bag to be sexually exciting. In her mind, she was supposed to be the source of all my sexual pleasure.

She mentioned she had sort of figured out my constipation problem was just a pretense. I then confessed that it was and that I liked, really liked taking enemas. It seemed like things were going well, and I mentioned how I'd like her to watch me. So, the next time I was ready to do an enema session, she pulled up a chair and watched from outside the open bathroom door. Wow, being watched made it so exciting - I thought all was going well, until I realized she found it sickening. Suffice it to say, that was the last time she ever had anything to do with my enemas.

Since I was a little girl, I liked the enemas I got and gave myself lots of them, just for fun. I learned my orgasm was enhanced if I masturbated while I was giving myself an enema so even after I got married and the sex life was good, I continued giving myself an enema and masturbating when I had some quiet time alone. I wondered if there was a way to work enemas into our sex play. My husband knew I sometimes gave myself enemas but showed no interest in them, even when I arranged to “get caught” giving myself an enema when he came home. He made some comment that I sure took a lot of enemas, and asked if I was feeling OK? I told him I was not sick but they make me feel good and suggested it would be fun to do it together. He mumbled something like he has never had an enema but from what he had heard an enema couldn’t be that much fun.

A few days later, I told him I wanted him to give me my enema so he could see that there was nothing to be afraid of. He agreed, and as I instructed him step by step how to give me an enema, I made sure to have an orgasm to show him I was enjoying it. But he seemed to just be a hurry to get it over with so we could have sex the “normal” way. After a few times with him giving me an enema, and then we had sex, I decided it was time to be more direct. After he had given me my enema, I refilled the bag and told him this time I was giving him an enema too. He whined like a little kid that he did not need an enema, or want an enema. Us girls do have leverage in these situations, so I told him if he wanted to fuck me tonight, he was going to get an enema. I managed to get about a quart in him before I couldn’t take any more of his complaining, and let him up. When he was done on the toilet, he got his reward for the evening.

After that I managed to get a few more enemas into him when he was really horny and desperate, but I could tell the enema just did not do for him what it did for me. So eventually I stopped asking him to participate in enema play knowing he was not having fun. Now my enemas are again mostly done when I have the house to myself so I can take as long as I want and do whatever I want. He knows that is what I do when he goes to play golf with his buddies but he does not bring it up because he is afraid that I will insist on giving him one.

Wow, can I relate to that @Cheryl77177 . The way you managed your disappointment is admirable.

When we moved in together after getting married, I noticed my new wife did not have an enema bag or bulb. With some indirect questions I determined she has never had an enema. Having been giving myself enemas for fun since I was about 10, I wondered how to broach the subject. When I saw the “Special Preference “ letters in Penthouse, I got the balls to try. I bought a new syringe and put it in the bathroom vanity where she was sure to see it. When she asked about it, I told her I read some people gave each other enemas for fun and I wanted to try it. Several times I asked and was told, “maybe some day but not tonight “.

One night after a party, she was horny and lubricated with alcohol so I whispered in her ear that I wanted to give her an enema. To my surprise she said OK, but I had to go first. I wasted no time preparing a full bag and coached her how to give it to me. I then started giving her one and with only about a pint in her, she jumped up and ran to the toilet. And she wanted no more. Over the next few weeks I talked her into trying it again and tried to convince her that if she could hold it a few minutes the urge diminishes and she could take more. No luck. She said she was too afraid of making a mess and just couldn’t enjoy it and didn’t understand how I could enjoy it. For a while she would give me an enema if I asked but refused to let me give her one. I eventually stopped asking since I knew she didn’t enjoy the process.

She knows I give myself enemas from time to time but doesn’t make an issue of it as long as I don’t involve her. I guess we all would prefer that our partners like the same things we do but since those of us who like enemas are a minority, that doesn’t always happen. I am thankful that she decided on silent acceptance rather than telling me not to do it myself.

I joined this site when I was married because I was trying to spice up our sex life. When I showed my husband (now ex) he looked at me like I had 2 heads. I mean he would give me anal & use anal beads on me but that was the extent of it. Most times he had one certain position he liked

@reddevil

My wife had the same reaction…..so we have ignored the “elephant” in the room for 54 years.

I just entertain the beast when she is out for the day 🧐

My wife of 30 plus years has always loved to please me and me her, so maybe 6 years or so ago I finally just ask her if she would give me an enema and to my surprise she said sure what ever you want but she said she didn’t like them, she said she and her sisters received enemas regularly as a child and did not like the cramps, I did ask her to tell me about her experiences and some of their enemas which she did, the stories were great and I always wanted to ask her twin sister about them but haven’t worked up the nerve. But since then she will give me an enema anytime I ask and on several occasions she ask me to give her one but she doesn’t really enjoy them so I don’t ask her to receive. I also went ahead and ask her to paddle me which she does. In the beginning it took me a while to get her to stop analyzing why I wanted to get an enema and be spanked, I kept telling I don’t know why I just do and please stop overthinking this that I just enjoy it , so finally she has and it turned out to be the best thing I ever did but I was really nervous about asking her because it could have turned badly if she wasn’t into it.

My sub would have been miserable not letting me know about his enema fetish. They have enhanced our sex lives so much over the years in different ways. They made his orgasms so much more, longer, and harder.

They led us to learn more about what else turned each of us, alone and together, on. It eventually led him to Zity.biz and he shared it with me.

When he told me and let me watch him take his enemas, I didn't share them with him at first, I tried to understand his attraction and feelings. I didn't run away or ridicule his interest. Eventually they became a part of our sex life.

Given that we have known each other all our lives, I don't think he was surprised.

He knew about my “disappearing” into my house for a full day once every 3-4 months. He didn't know WHAT it was but he knew it was not something to talk to friends about.

I told my wife after we were married a few years. She was like “ok” but thought it was an odd thing to enjoy. I shared a bit of my back story with her. One day she was constipated, she never drinks enough water, and was desperate and actually used my bag but hated it!!!! She said I will never do that again. She is fine with me doing it solo but wants no part of it. Maybe one day she would give me an enema…I think I would orgasm before she ever got the nozzle in me.

Her reaction was not just “no” but ".Hell no"

I adore enemas and have done for sixty years. I, hesitantly, told my first wife. She was not impressed so I had enema purdah for twenty-seven years. Then she asked me to leave her and I was home alone for ten years. During that period I purchased from Klystra, I even had a JBL but it leaked, Optimal Health Care, Silicone Nozzles and Rago Shapewear. I also discovered the “pleasure” of colonics.

Then I met the beautiful lady who is now my wife. What do I do and what do I tell her? Not even sure if I can use the toilet with someone else in the house, let alone do my enema. So I spoke with my lovely RN neighbour, who knows everything and she counselled that at the right moment I had to tell her, but gently. And my beloved blonde was amazing. She doesn't do enemas or colonic herself but is more than happy for me to do my thing and loving with her is just fantastic.

He said “cool never done it but walk me through it I can give you one”.

I had gotten enemas while growing up and once I was past my mid teens I thought all of that (forgive me) was behind me. It wasn't because my wife was a regular enema user, but my thinking was “hey, that's her issue.” Then shortly after we were married I got sick and seriously bound up. After finally telling her of my problem she saw only one solution and it was a warm and soapy one. I reluctantly agreed to let her give me one.

My Husband has always been mostly ambivalent as long as he has known about my enemas(we have known each other since we were both pre-schoolers) I see signs in the last few years that he might be warming up to them.

It's going to have to be on his own terms and at his own pace, but unlike a few years ago I can't now say never.

His exact reply, “Well, I don’t know about that.” He loves his butt plug but I think his desire for enemas is lacking. I’m so disappointed.