Medfet getting stale?

Hi everyone, I seem to have fallen into a medfet rut. Not that I don't still have a deep fascination with it, but I have trouble finding decent online partners to indulge my tastes and, as a result, I have become frustrated with the whole thing. My goal to share a meaningful virtual exam with a top-notch doc rarely comes to fruition. Instead, I usually end up masturbating alone watching CFNM Medical videos I find on Pornhub or X Hamster. Not the worst outcome in the world, but not overly satisfying.

I'm self-aware enough to know that my specific fantasy is very specific; and that, I acknowledge, limits the playing field. Even the porn I find tends to miss the mark.

I am in an otherwise happy marriage with a wife who doesn't enjoy role-playing and who doesn't approve of me playing with others, so what I do do, I do on the sly.

I have three chat rooms I frequent. No shortage of women (or people claiming to be women) but very few of them have any interest in being my doctor.

I wasn't intending this to become a kvetch-fest. I was just wondering if others have gone through the same thing. What do you do to spice things up?

I completely agree with you mate! Honestly, I can’t understand why some users here play hard to get. This blog is supposed to be a melting pot where people who share the same passion can chat about their past experiences, fantasies and ideas in general. I really find it hard to build an “online friendship“ with someone. There is a rare percentage which actually understood the purpose of this website, but the majority of the users act like they’re celebrities. I don’t know why to be honest with you, since this site was created in order tho socialise with people who share this peculiar and uncommon fetish relating to the medical world.

At least, I’m happy that I’ve found someone who share the same problem that I have. I was beginning to think that I was the only one.

In addition to that , I believe that there is no need to emphasise the fact that this site, without this feature, is very much like a tennis racket, without the strings: useless.

Therefore I think that if I continue to have this problem, I might as well abandon the ship.

I've been a member of Zity for 15 years and, until very recently, have only ever played with one person on the forum who lives the other end of the country. I'm a gay man living in one of the largest cities on the planet with a varied fetish scene for gays and straights, but no dice. I've always fantasised about being a submissive patient and that is the role I enjoy, but things changed when I offered to take the playdoc role. I've played with two other guys and am about to play with another. It still begs the question where are the playdocs clad with rubber gloves and wielding a nice cold stainless steel proctoscope? The only logical conclusion I can come to is that the majority of folks here are more into the fantasy of medfet and not yet ready or able to make it a reality. Either that or they are in Timbuktu. So my medfet is down to playing the doctor and watching a bunch of lame “medical” porn. It's high time I find a new fetish.

I agree what has been said so far. When my husband and I joined this site, we thought we had hit the jackpot place to meet other medfetters. We were so excited that bought a house and converted the whole house to a play doctor clinic. We could not get anyone one to come and play live. People would say that they wanted to come but when we got ready to pick a day to meet, we would get ghosted.

What we figured out that many people here just want to live in the fantasy and really don’t want to meet and that is okay. But don’t say you want to meet live and stand people up. We were fortunate to meet someone here but they were more into anal play than medical play. Their work no longer brings them to our city so our play stopped.

We ended make videos in our clinic. I posted still shots of one session in my photo album.

I agree what has been said so far. When my husband and I joined this site, we thought we had hit the jackpot place to meet other medfetters. We were so excited that bought a house and converted the whole house to a play doctor clinic. We could not get anyone one to come and play live. People would say that they wanted to come but when we got ready to pick a day to meet, we would get ghosted.

What we figured out that many people here just want to live in the fantasy and really don’t want to meet and that is okay. But don’t say you want to meet live and stand people up. We were fortunate to meet someone here but they were more into anal play than medical play. Their work no longer brings them to our city so our play stopped.

We ended make videos in our clinic. I posted still shots of one session in my photo album.

@medfetcouple man, I wish you guys were to live closer! There was one Domme in my town that had a complete setup of medical scene and I used to play with her on a regular basis. Unfortunately she moved out of the country and I haven't found anyone else that is as passionate!

Oh. That's a surprise for me.

I live in Poland and here the medfet as a hobby is almost non existent so I can only keep it as fantasy (unless I'm willing to make an long expensive travel with plane). …but I imagined US or UK to be places where you can easily meet for the exam. It seems to by not the case. That sucks.

To Medfetcouple, I wish I lived in Texas.

I find it a little hard to meet people only because it seems like everyone is scattered around the world 🌎. I've had a few play dates with people. 1 was ok, 1 was bad, & the last 2 (same person) have been the best

It’s tough these days. This world is incredibly scary and for some of us we live in incredibly prudish communities. I started with Skype plays was never truely respected. I tried chat were is was good ish (it’s not great but it safe). A couple months back I had the opportunity to actually have a in person play session it was great but sadly it won’t be something that I get to repeat with that partner. I don’t think I will give up on this fantasy but I have learned that it’s “not normal” for most romantic partners and you have to be incredibly careful (I only base this on my experience I hope I’m wrong). Convince a vanilla relationship to include this fantasy must has to be done right(I have unfortunately done both extremes at the beginning a relationship and trying and failing to introduce it to a relationship where I hid it for the entire time). I hope that each of us try were we can to seek happiness but for some of us it could just be an unattainable fantasy

I was just chatting with my ‘doc’ about this a week or two ago after a session (we mostly chat a lot before/after an exam and it’s great). My thoughts in general:

1. Fear. Most people are afraid to act on their desire out of fear or shame yet will read this site religiously. Many, if given an opportunity would probably not follow through as it makes things very ‘real’ and that can be scary

2. Supply/demand. This is a specific kink and most people want to be a ‘patient’ and docs are hard to find. Beyond that you have to be comfortable and have simpatico both as a patient or doc and that takes time to establish. But at some point one must ‘act’ and that goes back to #1

3. Communication. Finding someone is hard, especially in the post Craigslist world. I’ve been very lucky and have many ‘exams’ but that was based in a lot of communication and work, plus being open to creating a ‘co-experience,’ not just what I wanted (yes the doc gets to have fun as well). The only ‘bad’ experience I had was when we didn’t communicate well enough and talk about what we wanted. Plus it was a mis-match to f simpatico and the session lasted 15 minutes at best.

Anyway, it don’t think ‘stale’ is the word. I think the best word is ‘patience(pun intended) and that taking risk will lead to that reward that many seek.

I am no longer seeking play partners, but when I was it seemed that the ones who complained about never being able to find anyone, were the ones with no mention of their location in their profile. It is the same thing in the personal ads... "I desperately want to meet in person and blah blah blah" by Anonymous in Antarctica. No one expects them to put their address and phone in the ad, but at least their state/province.

Getting back to the Original Poster's observation- the fear factor plays a major role in someone not actually meeting with a stranger. Imagine yourself as a woman who is submissive and dreams of being bound or restrained and stripped naked and then having no control over what is done to her. That may be an extremely exciting dream, but taking a step in furtherance of that dream could end badly. I'm not sure I could ever Take that giant step.

My role playing was always as the doctor or master, but I always understood the hesitation of the sub or patient.

As far as you folks who have commented here, all I can suggest is to not give up and keep trying. You never know when the right person may join the site or move into your town. I wish you all well.

I think that the times we find ourselves in has a lot to do with the erosion of trust and respecting confidentiality. Sad to say but technology has not been our friend! The loss of a reputation can not be judged. Sorry to say but it's one step too far for me!

Interesting post. My medfet involvement has been limited to porno and kinky websites, and a few racy magazines, which have mostly been phased out of production. I would shy away from meeting people online with similar interests, due to the risks. There are way too many evil and untrustworthy individuals out there, who will harm you physically, emotionally, or financially.

If you are really into medfet. You enjoy it. It makes you happy. How could it ever grow old. I do think taste have changed but medfet has been this way for 100 years.If it's stale to you try something you have never done. don't let the fire die.

I would stick to fantasy. There is no risk involved, it is not cheating on a spouse or gf and the action in your mind can go whichever way you wish, no limits or boundaries.

This is not meant to be pessimistic, but people do disappoint. Compatibility is hard to achieve. Society is judgmental and becoming more so by the year. The risks of being found out are always present and the consequences may be dire, depending on your personal circumstances.

Sexual arousal of any kind is mostly in the mind anyway. Why not use what is available and free of complications?

Medfet is a variety of human sexual behavior. I remember reading years ago that kids never get tired of comics and adults never get tired of sexually based content. Those whose goal is a RL partner will likely be in for pretty consistent disappointment, but no one is ever going to give up on sex because they can't find a RL partner. And those of us as into medfet as most of us are will never lose those interests. As for me I'm convinced I was born this way.

So if I understand correctly, it's stale, or dead, for some of you because a) there's no one for RL nearby b)those rare playmates want to be sub, like you c)exams are too short or incomplete d)the true "meat" of what appeals to your kink rarely aligns and e)most in here fear a bad outcome to RL if it came to that?

I sort of agree with the sentiment that it's dying out, sad as it is. More are growing up without RT's, enemas, etc., and most of us acquired the fetish from early childhood experiences. I also missed the part of the site where there was a strong component for meetups. Is the a place where everyone is posting for RL exams? Is this generally a couples thing or for same sex participants? Speaking for myself, I'm straight, single, and sub, but I suppose it would be fun to be Dr. Fish sometimes, too.

From what I am reading there is a fear factor in meeting someone for medfet.

This has been so true for so long and may be here in 20-30 years as maybe many of us will be dead and people will be saying the same things then as they do now.

And I agree that why can't people put a location in their profiles or an age, the real one, and some how let the website update their ages.

One female would not tell me where she lived until like the 10th time we exchanged messages and she was from NY. So I laughed and asked her "do you think I would be able to find you in NY"?

If you are real then say so.

If you want to meet someone say so.

If you are here to just read everyone's comments then say so.

If you just want to play with yourself and cum from what you read then say so.

If you are real and have a question then say so.

If you want to meet and want to do it in a safe manner then say so.

There are many articles on Goggle about what to do about meeting new people for the first time then say so.

I am sure there are a few people here who have advice for females how to meet in a safe way then say so

And please tell me why Zity still let's profiles that are dead for 5-10 years and more to still allow them to be viewed and their posts to still be posted. If they are gone then they are gone. Send them an email and give them 21 days and if no response give them the boot and wipe them out, EVERYTHING GONE..

...and some how let the website update their ages.

The site does update age groups.

And please tell me why Zity still let's profiles that are dead for 5-10 years and more to still allow them to be viewed and their posts to still be posted. If they are gone then they are gone. Send them an email and give them 21 days and if no response give them the boot and wipe them out, EVERYTHING GONE..

@Michael001 - I've been through this with you before, and I'll repeat - NO, we aren't doing that.

I've known members be absent for years and then they return. I don't think anyone would be impressed, on trying to return, finding that they had been thrown away like they never existed.

Would you like this done to you, if you were absent for a while?

Your idea of erasing dormant members posts and other contributions simply doesn't work. Such a thing doesn't work on a forum, as it would create holes in discussions and would mean replies not logically following anything. It's not happening.

I also know of friends and relatives of actual deceased members be on the site. I myself was a friend of two such members. And we aren't throwing away their memories, their legacies on this site, as if they too never existed.

I think you need to get your head around the fact this site is not a whiteboard that has content rubbed out after a while. It also isn't primarily a dating site with a 'swipe right' culture full of people looking for hookups. People come to Zity.biz for a variety of reasons, not simply to meet others.

Well we all have a right to our opinions.

And there are always ways to do things that can work for everyone.

Well we all have a right to our opinions.

Of course. But all I'm saying is that there is also no point repeating suggestions when we have already pointed out to you why they won't be implemented.

And there are always ways to do things that can work for everyone.

Perhaps it will help if you become more familiar with how the site's features actually work, as there are some things you appear not to fully appreciate.

For example, your stated location is Arizona. Now if you were searching for local contacts, you could see them by selecting the state accordingly -

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=members;ox=places;n=us;z=AZ

On that page, you will see a column Last online. That column tells you how long ago a particular account logged in. The bigger that number gets as you browse down the list and onto further pages, the more days have passed since the account was on site.

So there are things you can do if you are looking to meet others, and without the site having to discard members on the basis they haven't been active recently.

I also know of friends and relatives of actual deceased members be on the site. I myself was a friend of two such members. And we aren't throwing away their memories, their legacies on this site, as if they too never existed.

You have a solid grasp on that @DrZ and your follow-on of;

I think you need to get your head around the fact this site is not a whiteboard that has content rubbed out after a while. It also isn't primarily a dating site with a 'swipe right' culture full of people looking for hookups. People come to Zity.biz for a variety of reasons, not simply to meet others.

This is a perfect place for people to express there feelings for another and have the memories should something happen. Swipe-right places or whiteboards may have a place in some people's lives, but they can buy, build, maintain, and constantly tweak and call it GO4QSELF.com and let the shallow ones flock to it.

Zity.biz is a great site and I don't think there is any place better to be found. The members, most of them, the mods, the owners(s), make it one of the best places around. It isn't just a porn site. It is a community with the good and the bad, but mostly good.

One female would not tell me where she lived until like the 10th time we exchanged messages and she was from NY. So I laughed and asked her "do you think I would be able to find you in NY"?

Such fears come from the media, some from scare stories in the news and most others from what are invariably implausible scenarios from movies and TV shows that posit specialized knowledge and high IT skills in tracking people, usually along with ways of accessing law enforcement databases, all of which is mostly unrealistic.

It is the same reason why people are so scared of serial killers, even though the vast majority of crimes of violence against people are committed by family members and close friends.