“Mom Knows Best”

Back when I was in 8th grade my mom brought me to our family doctor’s office one afternoon when I was sick. As soon as I was undressed the first vital sign taken by the nurse was always a rectal temperature. Until then I had always obeyed the nurses there but on this particular day I was too embarrassed and remained standing when she instructed me to lay down. Both mom and the nurse implored me to cooperate but I flat-out refused. Looking back on it now I still find it strange how determined they both were to get me to comply. I suppose getting my temperature was somewhat important but they behaved like it was a matter of life and death. Since I was 12 years old I’ll never understand why the nurse didn’t just take it orally but I guess they had to follow the rules there.

After several minutes of sparring they finally gave up and the nurse suggested that mom should take my temperature. I reluctantly agreed and the nurse jokingly said “mom knows best”, then handed mom the thermometer and left the room to give us privacy. Mom had me lay on my belly and proceeded to take my temperature. For a few brief moments I was relieved that the nurse was gone but the minute mom lowered my underwear I suddenly realized this was not only more embarrassing but also cringingly awkward. By that time mom hadn’t taken my temperature rectally for years and to have her doing it again felt entirely weird, especially in the setting of a doctor’s office. Much to my surprise, it had stirred up some unpleasant memories and emotions which I hadn’t anticipated. It’s one thing to be so exposed before a professionally trained nurse but it’s quite another when your mom does it. Being 12 years old and having my mother peering into my anus just felt totally uncomfortable. Another thing that contributed to all this awkwardness was that I always suspected mom of secretly enjoying taking rectal temperatures. All throughout my childhood the rectal thermometer was not spared for the slightest symptom and she seemed to take a certain amount of pleasure in it.

So, as I’m laying there waiting for this end I began to regret agreeing to this and wished that I’d just let the nurse do her job. To minimize exposure, the nurses would always pull my underwear up while the thermometer was registering but apparently this hadn’t occurred to my mom. I couldn’t stand how she was sitting next to me with a full view of my bare bottom with a thermometer in it. A few minutes later the nurse knocked on the door and peeked her head in to let us know she was ready to read the thermometer. My mom took the thermometer out of my bottom and awkwardly handed it to the nurse who jokingly said “good job mom… you’re a great nurse”. The nurse wiped the thermometer with a tissue, held it up and said “his temp’s normal”. During the drive home I was very agitated and told my mom how I much I hated rectal temps. I remember telling her that I would never again let anyone take my temperature rectally. Having little compassion about it she admonished me and said that sometimes in life we just have to do things that we don’t want to.

I am a 70 years old man and I have had a strong rectal temperature fetish thoughout my life.

I liked your story very much. I thing it tells a lot about the psychology of teens or preteens toward rectal temperature.

May I ask you a question? How did your parents react to your strange attitude ? Did they support you, yell at you or punish you ?

I think they did rectal because that was probably what they used and had handy. Not having kids at this moment in time I would be very surprised if this was common practice nowadays. I'll bet it is just done with a gun on everyone including infants. There is more than one person here because of temps as they got older and I think it could actually be considered as abuse by making an older child bare their bottom for a temp.

Having little compassion about it she admonished me and said that sometimes in life we just have to do things that we don’t want to.

As a platitude, that one always goes over well with others who are not involved, often all nodding sagely as if this were a pearl of wisdom.

Odd how no one asks how important and consequential this would truly was. Because in this instance it simply seems more about unequivocally establishing authority, without considering other less disruptive and easy to implement means to get the exact same information.

May I ask you a question? How did your parents react to your strange attitude ? Did they support you, yell at you or punish you ?

My resistance and refusal to cooperate at the doctor's office was always met with anger and punishment by my parents. They couldn't care less about my feelings at the time. They weren't cruel parents by any means but just expected me to obey them. Back then no one even considered the psychological ramifications of forcing a rectal temperature on a child. To them, refusing a rectal temp was no different than cutting class or something. They just considered it disobedience and willfulness on my part.

I think they did rectal because that was probably what they used and had handy. Not having kids at this moment in time I would be very surprised if this was common practice nowadays. I'll bet it is just done with a gun on everyone including infants. There is more than one person here because of temps as they got older and I think it could actually be considered as abuse by making an older child bare their bottom for a temp.

My doctor’s office did rectal temps on all kids until you turned 13. I truly believe rectal temps were only done to such a late age for reasons of safety and liability and NOT for accuracy. I would get rectal temps during check-ups when accuracy is not at all necessary. If they were taking rectal temps for accuracy then they would have continued them passed the age of 13. I think it’s all rather obvious. I agree, rectal temps until 13 nowadays would be considered abuse or at the very least suspicious.

I don’t think that pediatricians as a whole, respected the wishes of kids and teens who were old enough to have an oral temperature taken. Did they just not have oral thermometers available? Why embarrass and humiliate a patient? Teens , especially, have enough image issues to contend with.

Having little compassion about it she admonished me and said that sometimes in life we just have to do things that we don’t want to.

That is a good piece of advice. Sometimes you have to do…because it is expected or required. I'm not meaning just for rectal temperatures. Just life in general. I know my kids have heard it from me and my sub has as well.

The technology and circumstances of today make the use of a glass thermometer obsolete. Ear or forehead thermometers are easier, less invasive, and more sanitary to use. If accuracy is needed they may use a glass thermometer. But usually close enough is good enough.

Memory and nostalgia can only go so far. But they can live as wonderful memories and stimulate us in our advanced years.

OMG, every caring and compassionate mom has been through situations with their kids! With reverence to Dads, Moms were created for a definite purpose. We're supposed to “know best,” but the reality is that sometimes we do what we think is best — and then pray that it doesn‘t become a disaster or turn your child against you for life! A bit exaggerated, but if you’re a mom, you know what I mean.

Blessedly, we had a wonderful family doctor (and her nurse) for most of the years when our girls were growing up who I could “blame” for having me take a rectal when the nurse recommended – not often but there were moments when I had to say, “You need to roll over for this.” I felt the need to stop my kid’s vomiting with a suppository – not her favorite route – or when I panicked and asked the doctor to make a house call and give my older daughter an injection when I felt she was too sick to take her to an ER. At the time, I didn’t know whether moms knew best, but I had a gut feeling I was doing the right thing.