Inappropriate For Grandparents To Give Suppositories?

I'd like to know you guys opinions on whether or not you think it's inappropriate for grandparents to give grandkids suppositories without the kids parents permission? I remember being a little girl in kindergarten or first grade and me and my brother going to visit my grandparents. I don't even remember the circumstances but I ended up getting a suppository. I'd later learn that my own parents gave me them when I was a baby. I'm not one that had chronic constipation issues so I really didn't have to cause to be getting suppos on the regular. It's safe to say that receiving those suppositories is where my anal fixation began. It seemed like every time I went there I ended up getting a suppository but the same never happened to my brother. I can't imagine taking that liberty with my nieces or nephew. I just feel like it would be highly inappropriate. Would love to hear other peoples opinions on this.

Unless the parents agree that the grandparents can provide medical care in their absence, I wouldn't advise it. In other countries and cultures, it may be normal. When I was a kid, nobody would have cared. Today, America is all about censorship, and punishing good samaritans.

Unless the children are over the age of majority (legal age for where they are), touching someone else's children without parental permission is not only inappropriate, but illegal in many jurisdictions. Blood relationship is not implied permission nor an acceptable excuse for touching, especially for medical procedures.

Until their 18th birthdays, you can believe me when I say that anyone who did anything to my children without my wife's or my permission, no matter how innocuous it might seem to anyone else, would pay a heavy penalty.

If I was visiting over my grandparents and I needed something they called my mom and dad first to find out if they could do something

Legality aside, in my family it was perfectly normal for grandparents to give us suppository.

To be fair, we often spent weeks at our grandparents place (when Mom and dad was travelling), so it was natural for granny to assume mommy's responsibilities during this period.

@Head_Trip

First, I'm unsure how long ago this was, and in which country. 40 years ago, suppositories were more commonplace than today, and even more so in some countries (e.g., France). Also, it was generally considered appropriate for older females (relatives, kindergarten staff, etc) to have children disrobe and to provide care to them, whereas today one would need authorization from parents or calls to professionals (e.g., it used to be the case that school staff could give Valium into the rectum to children having epileptic seizures, on doctors' prescription, whereas today they would just call emergency services). Rectal temperatures were more common, in part due to technical limitations on thermometers (an oral temperature required being able to hold the thermometer for 3 minutes).

It also depends on the arrangement between the parents and the grandparents : were there instructions given regarding care in situations of illness ?

That said, I recall watching this testimony of a woman whose grandparents submitted her to unnecessary enemas as a child. As she said, she had never particularly suffered from constipation or other bowel issues, yet was given enemas when staying at her grandparents'. It sounded like she had been abused.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQr3hsEQmbM

The phrase in French is “maternage abusif” or “nursing pathologique”, unsure in English. It designates acts, often from older female relatives or acquaintances, that are often presented as motivated by hygiene or medical needs, but that are in fact motivated by the sexual enjoyment of the caregiver. These include washing of the body, especially genitals, at an age when the child would be perfectly able to wash himself or herself; unnecessary intimate examinations, rectal temperatures, suppositories, enemas, etc. The key phrase here is “unnecessarily intrusive”.

Without the parents' permission, it's totally inappropriate for any relative to touch a child's anal-rectal region. Even with their permission, it's a grey area. If you read the discussions on this site about childhood experiences, it's clear that many of us were pre-sexualised (the exposure of sexually immature children to sexual stimulus) by early induction into the eroticism of enemas and suppositories. The anal-rectal region sends nerve signals to the same area of the brain as the genitals, and share the same pudendal nerve paths, it's no wonder sensations from the anus can be erotic. If you still doubt this, ask a friendly police officer if grabbing a stranger's butt on the train is considered sexual assault. Some call it 'groping' or 'inappropriate touching' but it's sexual assault in my book.

Some like to explain the declining trend of using enemas and suppositories on children as being caused by 'prudishness'. The 17th century to the 1960s may have been the glory days of the clyster, but since then, we've come a long way in the areas of developmental psychology, neurobiology, laxative technology, nutrition science and common sense. The reason for the decline is not prudishness, but knowledge and pragmatism. The question to ask isn't whether parents should administer suppositories or enemas to their children. The question should be… Do they need to? There are plenty other ways of ensuring children have good bowel motion, among which are having enough fluid, vegetables and fruit in their diets, avoiding junk food, oral laxatives, fibre supplements, exercise, etc. Suppositories should really only be used in serious medical conditions, such as when medicine can't go down orally. Suppositories may even become self-defeating, because the suppositories get used so often that the child becomes dependent on them, worsening the original constipation problem.

The most common reason for the continuation of old-fashioned practices is that parents hang on to past solutions for constipation, and are not open to new ones. It's easy to normalize abnormal behavior within families, and the 'sins of the fathers' may get passed down to the next generation. And I dread the thought of some carers doing it to children for their own sexual pleasure. I know this only too well… my sexual fetish for enemas and suppositories was caused by what was done to me in childhood.

The bottom line: Don't expose a child to potential pre-sexualisation scenarios. Their cognitive faculties are not mature enough to deal rationally with powerful pre-sexualisation impulses. Keep their minds free to do growing up in more important areas. There are other solutions for constipation.