Crying during a spanking

Recently, I had a spanking. It really hurt, but I couldn't get to the point of where I could cry, which is what I want.

Does anyone have any pointers?

Spank harder??

Maybe if you could tie something emotional to the spanking. Sorry, but no clue or suggestions on HOW to do that, but I would think if you were made to feel really bad about something you are getting spanked for would bring out the tears. .

Add more to the spanking like a strap.

Add more to the spanking like a strap.

I dunno. I don’t cry from pain anymore, but get choked up on emotions that hit home. Combination of emotion and pain would produce tears.

I think that as we get older we get desensitized to it so it is more emotional than physical. I think you need to combine the two. Talk to your spanker as to why you need the spanking and the release will come…

More spanking…..crying is a big part of a good ass warming. Try adding some more humiliation, then more spanking.

Talk to your spanker as to why you need the spanking and the release will come…

Talking about what you want from the spanking with the one administering it can be helpful. They may not realize you want/need more to get to the point to cry.

I recently admitted to Sir that during my last spanking (fun type, not punishment), that I requested a break, not because of the pain but due to how close I was to crying. We talked further about it and next time we have a session, for me to let go and cry.

I do not often cry from a spanking as most are for erotic purposes. If it is a punishment spanking (which we agree that I must consent or else it is not given), and the hairbrush and/or paddle come out and used not very sparingly, I have broken down into tears not from the pain (at least I do not think so) but more likely from me being sorry for my transgression(s). It takes quite a few strokes to make me cry and the message given is felt for at least a couple days particularly when I go to sit down on something hard such as a wood kitchen chair. I have only completely broken down to sobbing level a few times but it is such a cleansing feeling after it is all said and done. An enema series is frequently given after a good and proper spanking.

Know what dacryphilia is? I do!

Hints

• A trusting relationship where the sub can drop their defenses a bit is essential.
• Spanking doesn’t need to be hard but it needs to be pretty hard, consistent, and non stop. On occasion break up the rhythm. The attack must be unrelenting.
• Emotions are very helpful, with prior discussion degradation humiliation and with a great deal of discussion trust and consent ESM work.

Great aftercare might be required but if the sub wants to be destroyed leaveing them alone to experience the emotional state they are in might be what they want.

Negotiate carefully about aftercare it’s quite crucial much more then in less intense play. Emotional scars aren’t as easy to see and don’t heal themselves.

Recently, I had a spanking. It really hurt, but I couldn't get to the point of where I could cry, which is what I want.

Perhaps you need to add some dialogue to the scenario. Use phrases that resonate with you, that evoke memories of prior childhood spankings or a spanking situation that was more than usually humiliating/embarrassing. Perhaps there are specific phrases that you remember from other (real) spankings.

Of course, that means extra work for the spanker, sort of like learning lines for a movie or play. If this is what you may need, it will require extra preparation and maybe even some rehearsing. Certainly having to learn a bit of dialogue at the very least.

It took years before I learned to cry as an adult. It's not about adding more pain… honestly. More pain makes me less likely to cry. It's about being in a mental place where it's safe to cry, and then letting it happen. So you have to discuss it with your partner, and make yourself comfortable with the idea. For me, I have to feel regressed, but it might be different for you. Find what gets you right to the edge, and try to relate that to your partner in a respectful way without dictating, and then build up to it. I know it sounds corny and cliche, but thats how it was for me. And once I finally was able to, I learned how to get there mentally.

I finally felt if ok to break down and cry as an adult even welling up in tears prior to actually being spanked. The suggestion of unrelenting spanking has added a new dimension and somehow rewarding feeling to a spanking and it sure makes for a bright red bottom pretty quick. Aftercare has been fantastic as well plus the added bonus of very pleasurable activity later.

I agree with @SternSteve . Important aspects that have taken me almost to tears hard, consistent, and non stop/unrelenting. And definitely talking about what the spanking is for and setting up the embarrassment and humiliation. I've never made it to that point, as most who spank me are not interested in spanking like that. It seems most spankers that I meet are interested in the romantic aspect.

You may now know your spanker well, or you are too ashamed to show tears.

I have not cried during my spankings since I was a child. BUT when being told by my wife how much i displeased and upset her and being told that i would be getting a hard and long spanking when we got home, we were on the road with me driving, brought me to tears and slightly sobbing and shaking. Unfortunately, like many other times, i was not spanked when i really knew that i needed and deserved a very hard punishment spanking.

I have not cried receiving a spanking since I was a child, I guess I have a high tolerance for pain and that I really enjoy being spanked and get really excited, the sound the sting and the burn is very stimulating and can’t wait for the next stroke to my bare bottom

It depends on the SPANKER , what implement they use and how hard . As the spankee you have to take what you get. My wife makes me cry and beyond. When she is finished I'm crying , sobbing , begging for forgiveness. Tears stream down my face . My wife /owner has Mr. Strap . Mr. Strap is evil . She will take me to her art studio where she has a spanking block. It is a very old butcher block 2 feet by 2 feet. The front legs are shorter and they are on a angle so it bends down in front. . There is a little platform in the back to stand on and then lean over the block. There is velcro straps on each leg to secure my arms and legs. Then she picks up Mr. Strap. I hear it sing through the air, a evil hiss . I hear the CRACK before I feel anything. Mr. Strap grabs and wraps around my cheeks and hip. Then as it let's go and falls away it leaves a red hot trail of pain. The pain is so intense. Through the pain I hear the evil hiss again, hear the CRACK feel it tighten around the cheeks and hip. Again as it loosens and falls away it leave a trail of pain.I hear the hiss again and the CRACK. I no longer feel the individual strike , my bottom hurts all over and I'm crying. But she is only just getting started .

I agree with those who believe a dialogue with an emotional component is necessary to get the most recalcitrant to cry. A dialogue that includes the depth of your caring and the awareness of the recipient that the discipline is necessary for him/her to overcome the undesirable behavior. Strong aftercare is essential.

Sometimes I started crying even before the spanking. When the punishment was no longer reversible. I won’t say that I was often spanked as a child, but it was. Basically, these were short thin branches, less often a belt. Through the clothes they were absolutely useless. The burning pain was caused on bare skin, without leading to cuts or bruises.

I used to cry during and after a spanking.

I think the reason of why we cry during a spanking is mostly (all?) psychological. But just what is psychology? - being dominated, or ?

I work as a professional poet, so the conjuring of emotions (in myself, as I perform, and in the audience) is a matter of prime importance.

The evocation of one bodily fluid (tears) is as important as the other (semen.)

My position, theoretically, is that the person has to be INVESTED in the discipline structure the dom and the sub have created.

It's a matter of finding out what the young man to be disciplined REALLY WANTS TO BE AND DO, and then either supporting and rewarding him when he makes or progress, or disciplining him (tears, spanking, rectal temps, etc) when he doesn't. The tears don't come from mechanical stuff, manipulation, or the dom's agenda. They come from the dom being able to TAP INTO what the sub has strong feelings about, and give him a chance to express those feelings.

Having grown up Presbyterian, (The frozen chosen, Calvin going back to Seneca's stoicism!) and being of manic-depressive Welsh ancestry, i.e., a HOT VOLCANO of emotion, emotion is a highly-charged and taboo territory for me. I became a poet – specializing in emotions – as a way of rebelling against the chilly Presbyterianism of my youth.

My all means, let's open up the discussion to providing EMOTIONAL SERVICES to our sub, as much as tending to their need to get off, sexually.

1970's boy.

Ideal scenario for me would be ONE experienced MD/emotional release superviser, one intern-in-training (me) and two very bad college boys who need to get spanked, who need to cry for their misdeeds, but are afraid to do so alone, one watches and waits, while the first one gets spanked, and then switch. For some reason, the ultimate hotness for me is WATCHING the boy WATCHING the spanking/tears, and knowing he'll be next . . . .

1970'sboy

To me the key elements to get to the point of crying are communication during your spanking with the spanker, and also the element of surprise where something happens that was not expected during the spanking. This could be the use of another implement being used (belt paddle, or other) or an unexpected spank or series of spanks that was delivered a lot harder then you expected.

I only cry during a punishment spanking. Realizing that I really messed up and the pain in my ass makes me cry pretty quick. You‘ll never catch me crying during a maintenance spanking or one that I don‘t see justified.

Maybe it was the same with you Denise maybe there was just no reason to cry. Maybe you just didn‘t want to show weakness. Pride can be a bitch.

When I start crying during a spanking I will be told things like; “Do you want something to cry about” or “keep it up and I give you something to cry about” - I don't remember the exact words; but is was along those lines and didn't make sense since the whole idea of my butt being whacked with the back of the wooden Fuller hair brush was to make me cry. My guess is that living in a big apartment house, dad didn't want all the neighbors to know I was getting a beating.

Crying for me only occurs when I have a connection with the spanker. It is usually accelerated based on their lecturing, including the tone of voice and expressing disappointment. Once the seal is broken, it can happen on a regular basis!

Even being really in pain due to a serious spanking or any other corrective measures, I don't necessarily cry. It happens as soon as I get deeply emotionally involved. When the right words, meaningful glances and sort of forgiving kindness are added to that display of dominance, it just hits differently.

Growing up I would cry because of a mix of deep embarrassment (shorts and underpants taken down even when quite old), some pain and a good telling off explaining why I was naughty, what was going to happen and depending on the situation how watchers were going to enjoy a naughty boy getting his just dues. I would think as an adult the words are very important, tapping into the inner child. Just a thought.

I think it would be a very intimate and intense experience to actively try to recall and inhabit these sorts of feelings while being scolded and/or spanked by a caring spanker. It might even be helpful to pretend to cry, in the way that pretending to laugh can lead to laughter. Over time one might develop a strong enough association between the spanking ritual and tears that it would happen organically.