Why I’m a sub bottom

I started getting off after moving in with my aunt and uncle when I was made to completely undress and get on all fours to be paddled. I believe the arousal was a way to escape from the humiliation and pain. It wasn't long after that I started wanting to get on all fours and have rough anal sex.

It would take years for a psychoanalyst to figure out why I'm a sub-bottom. I don't even want to know why. I just know it's fun. I can only dream of getting a good paddling now. My wife knows and I think she's near ready to administer it.

It is a way of escapism not having to think, just obey. I need to make far to many decisions on a daily basis in real life so for me being bottom is just a a way of “ just enjoying ” but WHY the humiliation gets me off, I can not explain.

@Secret_sub i think could be the pressure of daily life that drives us to surrender to another person, and not take any decisions at least at that sexy moments. Completely understandable.

🌹

Be safe

@Secret_sub:

Since you don’t like to make decisions I will make one for you: Get a new, better lit, color avatar. 😈😈😈

@GreyDesigner my avitar was chosen by my master. 😉

It's so exciting.. And true!!

I am a bottom and i like that but i would try top once but i think i would enjoy the bottom much better.

Having been a top I prefer to be a bottom. It's much more enjoyable to me I love to please so it just works.Maybe I'm being selfish putting my pleasure at such a level but it balances out I get what I need and my top gets what he needs.

Since coming out I have always been a top. It is probably one reason I survived the AIDS crisis. It just seemed to be the right thing for me to be. I actually never thought of being a bottom. For many years I was self-employed which meant making decisions all day and frequently into the night. At some point I let myself experience being receptive and found that my anal eroticism and the pleasure it gave others was a wonderful experience. Years later radiation became a catalyst for moving from just a bottom to a sub. The enemas, spankings, restraining…what a great experience. I always looking for others on Zity to share their DOM experiences with people with similar interest as me.

I am a sub because I have a stressful enough job, so I want someone else to chard of me for a change.

Curious how people treat being bottom as a form of escapism from everyday life and I can also the appeal. In my case I first experienced anal as a bottom so that's my reference point I guess.

I doubt that being a submissive is a from of escape and counterweight to ‘powerful’ position in day to day life. Or actually, that is the only or most significant reason. There are many subs who are submissive in and out of ‘bedroom’. There are many who live in permanent D/s relationships. Many females are ‘stay at home’ wives.

I guess, like with pretty much everything, each person has own reasons.

I am very assertive in vanilla life, have no problems with leading teams, however, most of my work is as so called ‘individual contributor’. I like to be rough and to extent dominant in vanilla sex. Same time, I absolutely love to be a submissive, very passive and compliant one. And I got into D/s completely by a chance, with no prior interest or even much awareness. Why do I like it? I think what gets me the most is ‘perversion’ or doing something that is not exactly conforming with ‘norms’ and stereotypical ‘roles’.

It started late in life. I’ve been a bottom for a while now and love the feeling of my ass being used for enjoyment of a master or mistress. My former master left many years ago and I’m trying to find a new master or mistress for online fun.

@Assup I started late too, and maybe that coloured by feelings

Something I learned was that in a healthy D/S relationship, the top is the giver and the bottom is receiver, although their roles need not be fixed. Personally, I feel more at ease as the bottom, able to enjoy the sensations free from the virtual responsibility of having to deliver or achieve anything. I'm sure that responsibility is something most men would like to to escape from occasionally.

About that time I witnessed a live performance in which a man was topped by a Shibari master. Naked, he was blindfolded, expertly bound and flogged, all in full view of the invited group. I was captivated and highly aroused by what I saw. I imagined myself as the bottom, and wished I was.

When I first started having anal sex🍑 I was a bottom. Since I started playing I find that I really like being in charge of the person I am fucking 🍆🍑

I became a bottom at about 13. I was at my friends house for a weekend. We had a crush on each other and were in his bed kissing and fondling each other & started getting excited rubbing our bodies together. We were breathing fast, he started to kiss my lips and face.

We were young boys able to cum 4 or 5 times a day, we were very near to cumming all over each other when he asked me if I would let him put his penis between my legs from behind. He said he loved me and wanted me to be his girl. I turned over and spread my legs, layed there very excited ready for him.

He ky’ed me and himself then he got between my legs on his hands and legs. He then laid down on me and I felt his penis between my legs. He then inserted his penis slowly inside me and was very gentle. I was ready to cum and I told him so. He told me to raise my behind up to meet him as he pushed into me.

When he was inside me all the way we couldn’t hold it anymore, we exploded together, I could feel his warm cum filling my belly. After we finished we lay there, he on top of me still inside me. After resting we did it again. We slept next to one another that night and the next morning then we made love again. After we were finished he gave me a hot soapy enema and a rinse. That started a life long relationship of many happy years with the same person. We are just in tune.

Not sure why, but I’ve always been a follower not a leader and I do like others to make a decision for me

I do not believe there is a generic answer to this question, that the answer can be as varied as individuals, those there's probably some common threads that run through all of our tapestries?

Opposites are all around us in nature, and i think we are a part of nature. At a ‘basic’ level are positively charged, negatively charged and neutral ion, that attract and form compounds (relationship at a base level?) and some have ‘chemistry’ and form strong bonds (the origins of “bondage?” lol).

It seems, as humans, we are a lot more complex than ‘simple’ ions, but we are composed of them, so i think an argument could be made that Tops, Dom's, bottoms, subs, versatile (neutral), and everything in between on the infinite spectrum, are ‘natural.’ i believe the age old question of “nature vs nurture” is easily answered: “both." i do not see that anyone is devoid of the nature of inheritance or the natural influence of nurture.

i can retrospectively trace being “gay” back to about age 7, and really before. Looking back, i can see all sorts of things about me that were bottom, sub and gay. i grew up in a conservative religious culture that considers “gay” as “broken, deviant, sinful, rebellious, etc..” Also, prior to 1973, homosexuality was considered a psychological ‘sickness’ by the medical field.

Growing up in that kind of society is what conditioned a lot of gays to build the proverbial “closet.” my point here is, i learned how to hide who and how i am in order to survive. i also believed my conditioning and tried to change and become a hetero top dom (i.e., i married a woman and sexually had to be top and was part of a religious culture that had decided D/s under and over tones). It didn't change me though. i sincerely tried to be what i was ‘supposed’ to be, but being a gay, bottom with some sub thrown in, is and has always been a part of who i am.

i think my experience is common to those who may be different from the culture they grew up in, or live in. i think the dominant culture (not the good kind lol) has also conditioned people to feel it's important to justify who they are vs simply recognizing, accepting and learning how to live with who and how we are. i think that happens when those who dominate culture want to assert themselves as superior and not just different.

Bravo TallSlenderGuy, post #19

At first, I thought you were kind of getting in the weeds. But before the end of your post, I was agreeing with your every word. Great thoughts and insights.

I agree completely with ‘tallslenderguy’ especially paragraph 5. A lot of us had to hide who we were from our families and friends when we were growing up. I know that I had to and my parents were quite easygoing, as long as I was happy and didn't bring trouble home. I found that as I started my early 20s, I began to find friends that may be either gay or bi, and started to go around with them as it was psychologically easier for me to be around them because we had things in common. It could have been that some were thinking that having sex with another man, or should be a thing that they should try, I don't know.

I have very limited experience with another in regards to spanking and enemas. I’ve been the bottom. Not that I would mind spanking someone and giving them an enema. I’d love to try that. Problem? Finding that person who would agree to it.

But I acquired the like of both from the idea of being the receiver (bottom)not the giver(top). Watching a neighbor spank her daughter(about my age) made me think. What if she did that to you? Being spanked as I witnessed was extremely exciting. To have my bottom bared forcefully by a female was something I wanted to experience. A mom discussing giving enemas to her daughters resulted in the same. What if she made you get an enema? Thrilling thought.

And one final thought. After each session with a mistress I find a sense of peace and contentment. Stress removed. For me a great reason to be the bottom.

I will be 75 next month. I have been married for nearly 45 years to the same woman. I have two kids and two grandkids. Technically, I am still “straight”, but after some medical issues a few years back, I can no longer “perform”. I have always enjoyed “anal” things, butts (male and female). Quite honestly, I have probably always been “bi”, but NOW, I can only be a “sub” and really crave some anal attention. I absolutely LOVE having toys (plugs and dildos) in my hiney hole. My wife, however, won’t have anything to do with this, so I just have to “do it myself”. She has no idea I am playing with my butt. Now, I would really love to have a guy top me and treat me as a loving bottom complete with anal intercourse, kissing, hugging, spooning, etc., because this would be the ONLY way I can NOW experience any real intimacy. Please read my Zity profile for more on my situation. BTW, I am the oldest of five children. I have a gay brother and a sister who is a lesbian. I have gay cousins, so some of it might be in my genes(?). I really don’t want to lose my wife as we are good with, AND FOR, each other. She is just very vanilla and won’t be changing.

It maybe for me was my first proper sexual experience was being a sub bottom and that influenced what I sexual pleasure was like for me for ever after.

I later realised there in is that element of handing over control for a while and the escapism that brings too.

I am just lazy. It's more fun having others do things for me to get off on than doing the heavy lifting. Doms do all the work. Subs just reap the benefits.

I actually taught my girlfriend how to tie me up and work me over plus other things. We Switch.

I am just lazy. It's more fun having others do things for me to get off on than doing the heavy lifting. Doms do all the work. Subs just reap the benefits.

I actually taught my girlfriend how to tie me up and work me over plus other things. We Switch.

A very nice exploration !! - but i think, it will be a pleasure for the " Dom's ", to do it !!

I've always been a sub bottom with boys and men. My first experiences were with a group of boy in 6th grade. We were all too young to consummate sex acts with our little cocks. We loved to get naked together about once a month for years. We had enjoyed mouths on our little cocks and balls, and fingers in our little holes, so we frequently took enemas to keep the play clean. We were always on the outlook for smooth things to put in our butts.

The older brother of one of the guys joined us. He was my first male to use me. I remembers everything about that encounter - I loved it! I loved his cock in me, pumping me, and giving me his cum. My group continued to play into high school. As guys became able to penetrate and cum I loved them to use me as the girl. Even after I could cum, I never had interest in being the top with my friends. I did with girl friends. As often as possible. That was easy in Los Angeles in the 60s!

I have always loved girls - I love every one! With men, I have no romantic feelings, and don't care about seeing them. This continues to this day. I have no idea what a girl means when she sees a picture of a man or in a movie and calls him hot. Now a beautiful girl - I know what that is!

When I am dressed I present as a Alpha Male. When naked with a man, I am a girl - loving his equipment, and inviting him to use me. I am totally happy with my life! Variety is spice!

The porn mags I used to find around the house were way ahead of their time. Extremely bisexual & outright gay in some of them. I used to fantasise about being the receiver just because it seemed better. I started using anything I could find around the house to stuff my hole with. This was way before I had a proper hardon. The feelings of stuffing my hole were enormously satisfying to my young mind. I now get more satisfaction from stuffing my own hole. Had a few accidents along the way due my own enthusiasm & inexperience & the lack of knowledge & inexperience in others. I have had some mind blowing anal sex with males. My first full body orgasm was due to anal & I get them when I play on my own. I do not get them when I do the fucking. I know tops get off on limp cocks & sloppy wide open holes, & I do like my hole being wide open & sloppy.