Very annoying being asked questions with a thermometer in my mouth

I have not seen a thermometer be used in the last 5 years. All the times I have had my temp taken they use some sort of hand held device that they scan your forehead or run it across your forehead to get your temp.

Try answering when intubated. When I was in ICU and consciously intubated, I had to pantomime what I wanted. I managed to convey to the nurses I wanted something to write on but they couldn't seem to find anything, this in spite of the fact that it was a hospital that must have had numerous pens and paper pads. I was slightly sedated and a bit loopy, probably to the point of being legally intoxicated, so I don't think the nurses wanted to bother with interpreting my writing.

There is a simple solution to that problem. Just don't answer them. Point to the thermometer and act dumb. When they remove the thermometer tell them how stupid can you be!

The probes they put in your mouth now seem to take about 10 seconds. I just wait until they are done.

I am 6’6” tall. When the nurse tells me “the doctor will be with you shortly” I tell them my height and that everyone is with me shortly.

@GreyDesigner I'm dying laughing

I was spared questions with an oral thermometer for good reason. I had a snowmobile accident in the NC mountains in 1988. I wound up having to get my back operated on when I got home. The first day after surgery, and the grogginess started wearing off, I remember the nurse walked in to get my vitals. Everything was pretty much already hooked up to me, so she just wrote down the readings on her chart. I heard her mutter “R-Tee 99.7”. I asked her what R-Tee 99.7" meant and she hesitated for a second. Then she said “uh, that's your temperature”. I said “but you haven't taken it yet, have you?” Her face got kind of red, but she took a deep breath and looked at me and said “there's no easy way to tell you this, but you've got an electronic probe up your butt that takes your temperature every 20 minutes.” I was speechless. I just looked at her and she looked back and grinned as she walked out the door. I couldn't feel the probe was in me, but I took her work for it. She came back two days later after all my company and family had left and said “how about we get the temp probe out of you now that everyone is gone.” I appreciated her regard for my privacy, but she was really cute and I didn't want her doing that to me. She helped me raise my right leg on the bed and, and in one sudden tug out it came. It felt like it was in deep and stung a little around my anus for a few seconds. She used a warm wet washcloth with a special soap, and washed around my anus and perineum. Ultimate humiliation for a 19 year old. The probe had a long plastic cover on it, and it looked disgusting where it was up my ass. She rolled the cover off into the trash, deposited the probe in a germicide bag, washed her hands and walked out like nothing had happened.

For general consultations these days you'd be more likely to be checked with a thermal heat detector.

Thats why if they just did rectal temps the asking of questions would be a whole lot easier.