The women have so many options to choose from that it removes any incentive for them to be interested or interesting, and if you get through at all, you'll probably get a 7 word reply every 3-4 days. Good job, ladies.
I'm sorry it's been so frustrating for you--and the other people with similar experiences. I wouldn't presume to speak for all women, but I can share what might work for me if I were seeking a man, which I am not.
*He'd need to be friendly overall, and not at all pushy. (Several men here have used this behavior in their approaches. Good job, guys.)
*He's able and happy to talk of things other than sex and enemas. I hear about his good day at work, the car making that noise again, an upcoming trip, like that.
*If he's in a relationship that doesn't satisfy his enema needs, he doesn't bad-mouth his partner. (Although him being in a relationship is a deal-breaker for me. Again, I can't speak for other women.)
*He takes the time--a lot of time--to get to know me, the person, not just who I am in regard to sex and enemas. Trust takes months and months of frequent conversation.
*He respects whatever boundaries I set, even if he's frustrated that I set them. If I don't share my picture, he doesn't pester me about it. If I tell him my name, he doesn't use that information to find my landline and start calling me.
*He hits many of the requirements I have for a partner, which would of course vary from one person to the next. We all want what we want.
*And if he doesn't meet my requirements, he's gracious and friendly just the same, because not every good person you meet online is partner material. Some make fine friends. In days long gone by, I was friends with quite a few e-lovers, although most I would never have considered as a partner. Some of them may be here now, for all I know.
Approaching potential partners this way takes a lot of time and goodwill. But having experienced this approach at a chat site, I had a short list of people I'd have contacted if I wanted a partner. They were men I knew pretty well and who I trusted.