How did you find out you were having your first gyno exam?

If you were a teen, did your parents schedule it without you knowing and then tell you about it after? If it was as an adult I’m assuming you scheduled it.

If I'm correct, my mom and I, talked about it. She made the appointment and went with me.

I had my sister schedule my first one. But, I did have a friend whose mother scheduled her first and did not tell her. They went to the same doctor as she always had gone to. Her mother thought she had been having sex but she wasn't and she was still a virgin. When they went into the exam room and she was told to get completely undressed and she saw the stirrups pulled out she knew. She tried to fight it and her mother and a couple of nurses held her down. She said it hurt like hell and when they were done there was blood. They put her on the pill and in order to get back at her mother she started having sex with everyone. She eventually stopped taking her pills and got pregnant.

My mom made the appointment for me with her own gynecologist. She then informed me of the appointment and that I would be going, I think about 2 weeks before my appointment. She had previously suggested that I go and tried to get me to but I had successfully talked my way out of it and dodged it. Not this time, my fate was sealed.

Same here … my mom previously suggested that I go and see a gynecologist, but I wasn't really sure and talked my way successfully out of it as well. She kept “trying” until I really couldn't say no any more. So I finally said “yes” and then my mom made the appointment for me with her doctor without telling me about a specific time frame. I learned about the appointment roughly a week before.

Disclaimer. I was 18, my period cramps were really bad and was probably a brat about it.

I was home from my first semester at college. My mom made the appointment without telling me and said, “You are going and you will let the doctor do whatever he needs to do to examine you. ” It was not ok. I think I objected more to the condescending tone than to the actual exam. (I don't deal well with that) I got maybe 2 hours of notice! She pulled that when I was a little kid and deathly afraid of needles. I flat out refused to let her in the exam room with me and signed papers saying that I am the only one they are allowed to talk to.

When called back, I told the doctor this whole story and he was really sweet about it. He said I didn't have to go through the exam if I didn't want to, he will say he did the exam and he can answer any question I have. After a few questions about period pain, I decided to change into the gown and let him do the exam. He was really gentle and nice. It was the first time I was treated as an adult at a doctor's office.

My mom has gotten a lot more chill as we both got older (and I lived across the country from her)

@jill2doctor @newbie35 @AnnaLena: I'm quite aghast that your mothers would force a gyn examination on you (though, well, my own mother did something similar to my sister). Were there particular reasons for that?

@Pecan_nutjob I had a heart condition I grew out of (when I was 3 or 4) and hypothyroidism. She was obsessed with sending me to the doctors all my life because that is where she has control of my life, would sit in the room ask a lot of questions, and would volunteer embarrassing information. It was THE WORST! I liked going more when I got to go on my own.

@jill2doctor @newbie35 @AnnaLena: I'm quite aghast that your mothers would force a gyn examination on you (though, well, my own mother did something similar to my sister). Were there particular reasons for that?

I was 15 and having menstrual issues (heavier than usual, bad cramps, increased irregularity) and she thought it should be addressed. Deep down I knew she was right, but I was still pissed she was making me go and hated her in the moment. She was just being a mom and trying to help, and I know that now. Didn't help how I felt in that moment.

@Pecan_nutjob Do you know why your mother made your sister go? How old was she at the time?

I was 16 and me and my mom talked about it,off and on for about a month before going for my first one. My mom explained EVERYTHING that was going to take place,and yes it was with her gyno. I am sure glad for my first one,the doctor was a woman and not a man. I was very nervous before and while getting my exam,but I also wanted my mommy in for my first one. The exam went just as mommy explained it would,but still felt wierd,but also kinda stimulating. The whole exam didn't take much more than 30 minutes from begining of removing my clothes to once again getting dressed. I have really grown to LOVE getting my exams!!

@jill2doctor @newbie35 @AnnaLena: I'm quite aghast that your mothers would force a gyn examination on you (though, well, my own mother did something similar to my sister). Were there particular reasons for that?

Well, she wasn't trying to be mean. She was just being a concerned mom, trying to make sure everything was okay. I was kind of a late bloomer and was having a lot of trouble with my period at that time. Lots of girls have abdominal cramps during the first few days of their periods or it is somewhat irregular or heavy or something in between, well I kinda had all these things, so yeah, that’s why she really wanted me to see a doctor.

The sister issue is somewhat different, but has in common that a teenage girl was forced to an humiliating intimate action by an adult. The details are offtopic here.

I however have a sad story to recount. I don't have the details. An acquaintance of mine was a young teen at the time and her mother suspected that she was having sex; the suspicions were wrong, but the mother believed the girl was lying. I vaguely recall she mentioned irregular periods, so maybe the mother wanted to kill two birds with one stone. So she took her daughter for a gynecological examination, and basically told the doctor “she whines and lies all the time don't pay attention to complaints” (again, I don't have the details and don't know how she said it). So the girl got a fairly uncomfortable complete examination, including a speculum exam (sort of deflowered by speculum), and a prescription for the Pill. I consider that the physician was unethical but this was 30 years ago…

On a similar note, when another acquaintance of mine told her mother she was having sex, her mother sent her to the gyn.

I think there was some kind of idea 30 years ago that, automatically, if a girl was having sexual experiences then she should be sent for a gyn exam and that a gyn exam was compulsory to get on the Pill (which is actually medically incorrect: the Pill is about hormones and blood levels, a speculum exam won't help about that).

Pecan “I think there was some kind of idea 30 years ago that, automatically, if a girl was having sexual experiences then she should be sent for a gyn exam and that a gyn exam was compulsory to get on the Pill (which is actually medically incorrect: the Pill is about hormones and blood levels, a speculum exam won't help about that).”

Whilst I am sure some drs did it back then for billing purposes actually the pill came out in the late 50's and took off in the 60s. So 30/40 years ago medical understanding does come along way and better to be safe than sorry. Being on the pill condom use went down so I wouldn't be surprised HPV rates go up.

My first time I wasn't expecting it at all. It wasn't at the gyn but our family dr. Ive said before by todays standards I would not have allowed it with my daughters but different era. It didnt feel abusive or wrong at all.

I was 14 and my mom I guess was as surprised as me as hadnt given any pre warning.

I had an interesting progression. Mom started talking to me about going, and explaining why I needed to go. I just put my fingers in my ears and didn’t listen. We had several conversations like that.

Then one day mom told me she made the appointment. It was in three days. I don’t think we talked the rest of the day. I was furious. When I finally calmed down and asked why she told me it was just part of getting older.

Me- ”but nothing is wrong with me down there”

Mom- ”you are getting to the age where you need to be on birth control. I don’t want to be a grandma yet. “

I just stood there with my mouth agape.

“don’t think I don’t know what you and Jeff have been doing“

She was right. And I was doubly humiliated. We had a fun relationship growing up.

“It’s not that bad. the doctor will just take good long look down there and do an exam. It will be over in no time”

such a simplified version of the events

My pediatric exams were always arranged without my knowledge. Mom would usually just tell me the morning of and off I would go usually crying as I fully expected the exam would involve a shot of some sort.

As a teen, mom would advise me in advance but there was no negotiation just telling me I had a physical exam in a few days or so. My mental expectation surely shifted to being aware of how exposed I would be and what was involved. My preference by the time I was 16 was to not have mom in the room for the examination aspect but I would like her present if I was to receive a shot. Often the nurse just assumed that would help since I would get emotional. The moral support aspect was important.

I think there was some kind of idea 30 years ago that, automatically, if a girl was having sexual experiences then she should be sent for a gyn exam and that a gyn exam was compulsory to get on the Pill (which is actually medically incorrect: the Pill is about hormones and blood levels, a speculum exam won't help about that).

@Pecan_nutjob Yes when the Pill first came out and for decades after a girl was required to have a gynecological exam to get on the Pill, and yearly after to get a prescription refill. It was only in the last 10 years or so that after years of studies it was determined this wasn't necessary and hormonal birth control could be prescribed without an examination.

I agree years ago it was also common thought by many mothers that her daughter should have her first gyn exam “because it was time” or simply because she had her first period. Or even because she was sexually active. But still today it is recommended that a teen girl have an exam if she is sexually active. What's different from then to now is that her exam will not include a pap smear unless she is 21 or older.

Right. What's the point of a speculum exam / pap smear on a girl who has not had sexual intercourse, especially unprotected sexual intercourse ?

I think there was some kind of idea 30 years ago that, automatically, if a girl was having sexual experiences then she should be sent for a gyn exam and that a gyn exam was compulsory to get on the Pill (which is actually medically incorrect: the Pill is about hormones and blood levels, a speculum exam won't help about that).

I started at university in the mid 1980s, we had a medical, very similar to the UK school medicals, to become a patient at the campus practice. I started seeing a girl, and although we hadn’t started a sexual relationship at the time, she decided she wanted to go on the Pill. She booked an appointment the a doctor at the Practice, expecting to have a chat in order to get the prescription. She was horrified that she was required to have a full gun exam, her first. It included a smear test, speculum/pelvic rectal and breast exam. She had undergone a medical, which had not included any physical examination of her genitalia, a few weeks earlier. She was very upset after this examination. She found it very embarrassing and uncomfortable. she had a similar exam the following year at the time of a prescription renewal. This must have been something of times past, 30 plus years ago, as I can’t imagine it would happen now. I think there was something of a stigma about going on the Pill in those times, as you say.

Right. What's the point of a speculum exam / pap smear on a girl who has not had sexual intercourse, especially unprotected sexual intercourse ?

Perhaps the working assumption is that a person could be lying about not having had sexual intercourse. A speculum exam can at the very least determine vaginal virginity or not, though without assigning any specific cause if not. Once again the working assumption being an instance of penetration.

Given all the accounts we read here of sexual activity at a young age, I would think that teens lying about their sexual activities to parents is not that unreasonable an idea. In fact, I would think it odd if most weren't lying.

Perhaps the working assumption is that a person could be lying about not having had sexual intercourse. A speculum exam can at the very least determine vaginal virginity or not, though without assigning any specific cause if not. Once again the working assumption being an instance of penetration.

Given all the accounts we read here of sexual activity at a young age, I would think that teens lying about their sexual activities to parents is not that unreasonable an idea. In fact, I would think it odd if most weren't lying.

A teen girl telling a lie to her doctor or parents about being sexually active or not? Sure.

But I'm sorry, you cannot determine “vaginal virginity” by speculum examination, outside of any physical trauma caused by abuse. Just because a female does not have a hymen does not mean she is sexually active. There are so many ways a hymen can be stretched or torn outside of heterosexual sexual penetration.

. There are so many ways a hymen can be stretched or torn outside of heterosexual sexual penetration.

Yes indeed. I know that often enough no one can tell.

That is why I specifically and expressly included the conditioner: ‘though without assigning any specific cause’ …

Right. What's the point of a speculum exam / pap smear on a girl who has not had sexual intercourse, especially unprotected sexual intercourse ?

@Pecan_nutjob My wife had her first speculum exam as a virgin when she went on the pill and the doctor also examined her internally with his fingers, but I don't think he did a pap smear that time. She then had annual appointments at the family planning clinic and the routine would be a pregnancy test followed by a breast and internal vaginal examination. That's how it was back in the 70's 80's & 90's, same for all young women who wanted the pill.

Here in England girls or women no longer have routine gynaecological examinations and pap smears are recommended from age 25 because of the chance of a false positive in some younger women.

I think I came of age just too late too experience routine birth control exams in the UK.

Like several on here my first exam was for period problems back in the early nineties and it was the school nurse's idea although my mum went along with it, as she thought it would be a good idea. We went to the gp who just asked a few questions and then referred me to the gynaecologist at the local hospital. I had to wait about three months for that appointment so I had plenty of time to think about it before hand.

My mom was a nurse, and very much into making sure we all had our check ups and doctor's visits as needed. When I turned 18 she started bugging me to make my own appointment. I didn't so summer after my freshman year of college she just randomly told me that I had an appointment with her OB-GYN in two weeks.

My mom scheduled my first visit to her gynecologist when I was 15. She and I had had some long and sometimes heated discussions about my plan to have sex with my study mate, sort of a friends with benefits sort of thing. She thought I should go on the pill. It was no big deal for me because I had gone with my mom for one of her checkups a year or so earlier. The gynecologist was a 40 ish female. She had me stand behind her while she examined mom. She explained all the private bits and pieces. It was the first time I really understood how long a women‘s vagina is. The Pap smear and diaphragm fitting were educational!

When I finally had my exam, it was no big deal because I had seen it all. She was very gentle with me. I had been stretching myself with my vibrator so she was able to use a small speculum on me. She as asked if I would mind before she put it in. She recommended my partner always use a condom and that I use a diaphragm in addition to a low dose pill so I left with an Rx for the pill and a diaphragm. It was a little thing, 65 mm, after a couple of months of intercourse stretching me out more I needed a 70 mm size and then eventually 75 mm.

Dita

My first actual gynec appointment happened at 16. My periods got missed. It was scheduled by my mom but my elder sister accompanied me to the gynec, explaining what all to expect on the way to the doctor. I get sick often so even now at 27, my sister books all my doctor appointments

My mom scheduled my first visit to her gynecologist when I was 15. She and I had had some long and sometimes heated discussions about my plan to have sex with my study mate, sort of a friends with benefits sort of thing.

I am often amazed that teenagers have discussions with their parents about their intentions to have sex. I know my wife never did, since she told me later most emphatically about her prudish, controlling parents. She sort of let the situation speak for itself. I would have questioned her sanity if she had discussed it beforehand.

I was an adult, but didn't schedule it. My doctor nailed me for one when I was there for a blood pressure check at around 23 or 24 (yes, I had hypertension that young - it's genetic). She asked when I'd last had one and I said never. She said now was a good time. I tried to get out of it, but she wouldn't let me.

Umm i made an appointment?

My gf and I discussed it and decided we wanted to stop using condoms, which meant she needed to be on birth control. My friend's dad is a doctor, and he did the exam and got her on it. Since I knew him, I'm the one that approached him and made the appointment. Although we were both really nervous about it, we were both in agreement about her having a gyno exam.