Unusual Experience During a Real GP Exam

At the beginning of the week I have had to have my first ever intimate examination. I thought I would write it up as not only would some people find it interesting as another example of how a GP conducts an examination, but I also felt I had an unusual personal experience.

I have had some problems with some pain in my groin and I spent months trying to convince myself it was nothing as although I enjoy the erotic idea of being examined, when it comes to real life medical situations I hate going to the Dr's. Eventually I made a telephone appointment and explained that I have had pain in my lower front right side and lower back right side for several weeks and the Dr after asking a few more questions told me that it was probably groin strain and it should go away in a few days. After another 4 weeks I reluctantly made another telephone appointment as the pain and discomfort was starting to just be focused on my front and was feeling like I had been hit between the legs on the right side and was lasting for most of the day. I was told my GP was probably on holiday as there was no appointments for 2 weeks but I was booked in the Monday he was back.

I didn't want to see any other Dr as of all the ones I have seen before at the surgery, there are only two I trust as being any good and the other one is a woman and I felt she would have no idea of what a man would feel in his groin. I felt that my male GP would at least have a more personal understanding of that area and would be better suited to examine it.

He called me and I explained I was still getting pain in my groin and he immediately asked if I had noticed any change in my testicles. I was dreading this question as I knew where this was going but I told him the truth that I had had pain in my right testicle and there was some discoloration and previously I thought that I had felt a lump near the top of it but then I was not sure. He said that well this has been going on for a long time now and we better take a look and booked me in to see him, just over an hour later.

I then went into want must have been an anxiety attack, something I've never experienced before. My heart started thumping in my chest and I stood up and then was confused about what to do. I decided to make a cup of tea to try to calm down then drank half of it then ended up chucking the other half away as I was walking back and forth. Then as it got nearer the time I had to leave I suddenly thought I better have a shower quickly if he was going to be examining me and jumped in and quickly got washed and changed, making sure I out on a brand new pair of boxer shorts, then I got ready to go.

I was then calm as I think there was too much to worry about due to all the things I had to remember due to the COVID19 changes. I had to be at the surgery five minutes before my appointment, I had to drive into the front car park, I had to wait in my car and wait for the Dr to telephone me. Then once you were telephoned you had to go to the door and ring the bell and wait for someone to let you in. You had to wear a face mask, then you had to have your temperature checked and clean your hands with sanitiser, then go to the waiting room and sit on one of the 6 chairs spread across an vast empty room and wait to be called. So all in all rather a lot going on compared to the usual walk in put your name into a computer and wait.

After a few minutes my name came up on the screen with a room number to go to and I walked there knocked on the door and heard "come in" and was surprised to push on the door and find it locked. I heard "sorry" and my GP unlocked and opened the door. He was wearing an apron, face mask and face shield and immediately said "the best thing to do is to check everything so if you can come over to the bed". He then turned to the window and closed the curtains as I took off my coat and put it onto a chair. I moved towards the examination bed and the Dr started to draw the curtain around it. He told me to lower my jeans and boxers down to my thighs then lay on the bed and call him when ready and he disappeared round the other side of the curtain and pulled it fully shut.

The closed curtain made it feel like I was in a small enclosed space and everything was happening so fast and I didn't have time to think. I undid my belt and jeans and pushed them down and sat on the bed and laid down and I sort of felt very detached from everything. I covered my penis with both of my hands leaving my testicles visible and stayed frozen like this for the whole examination. I said "ok" and my GP came around the curtain and started his exam by standing at the bottom of the bed and he just looked at me. He then said he was "going to check the left side first" and bent down reaching forward with his hands.

This is when the strangeness happened as I must have been so embarrassed I think I blanked it all out as I don’t remember feeling anything below my waist. He spent what seemed like along time feeling both of my testicles one after the other and he was talking but I only remember the comment "im just checking the texture, you should do this yourself when checking". I couldn’t actually see anything he was doing as I was laid flat on my back with no pillow. So even if I raised my head I couldn't see my waist. I feel almost as if it didn’t happen at all as all I remember is laying down and seeing the top of the Dr's head and his voice at the end saying everything looks normal. He then said "I am going to check you for hernias in two different places on your groin" and he told me to cough. I coughed and he said "you can do better than that", so I coughed again harder, then he told me to cough a second time.

Again I felt absolutely nothing, no sensation of anything touching me anywhere, I didn't feel his fingers push into me. If my girlfriend is playing with my testicles or pubic area, I can feel it even with out looking at what she is doing. Its almost as if I experienced what I have heard some sexual assault victims go through, about not remembering anything about their experience due to the trauma. I know I must have had a testicular and hernia exam as I was there with my GP and he told me what he was going to do but I had no feeling of any sensation at all during or after the event other than laying down on a bed. He either was incredibly gentle or I must have just gone numb from the waist down.

After he had done the hernia checks he told me to "pull my trousers up" and I was a bit confused as I pulled up my boxers and jeans and I thought he wanted me to pull up the leg of my jeans, so I then did that. He said no leave that I'm just going to move your leg. He then moved my leg in four different positions and told me to push against his hand or hold it up to see if it affected the pain at all.

After he had finished he went around the curtain and I heard him washing his hands and I then saw him go over to the desk without any face covering and saw him put on a new face mask. He told me to sit down and I got up and done my belt up as I walked to the chair and I sat by the desk. He then said he was happy with everything and that the discoloration I had on my right testicle was very mild. He then asked if I had used any creams on it and asked if I had any trouble urinating or any problems ejaculating. Again I was fine with the questions until he said "ejaculation" as I found the subject embarrassing as even though I’ve had no problems, it just seemed odd talking about it in such a matter of fact way, ordinary way.

In the end he said there doesn’t seem to be much to worry about as it appears to be testicular discomfort, which is very common although they don’t know the reasons for it and I should take an anti inflammatory full dose for several weeks. I felt my GP was very good throughout, well organised and spoke to you as if this was a totally normal run of the mill experience, it was just strange that I had no sensations during his examination. So there is my first ever real examination with my pants down, which as I felt nothing during it, it seems to me like it never happened and has left me feeling a bit strange.

Https://zebrapit.com/2018/07/13/dissociation-in-the-doctors-office-complex-ptsd-white-coat-syndrome/

That is an interesting description of a ptsd experience, I don’t think I’m that bad but also I didn’t remember a word the dr said when he was telling me about what creams you should use for any trouble on your testicles.

So thanks to the pain not going away, this day last week I had to go for a scrotal ultrasounds scan. I was a little alarmed as when I spoke to my GP I told him I was still getting pain in my groin and he said we will send you for an ultrasound scan. At no time did he mention testicles or scrotum and the first I knew about it was when the clinic called me to book the appointment and told me it was a testes scan and that I would be seen by a male technician.

I waited in my car until I was telephoned and told to go to the front door of the clinic where I would be met by someone. When I got to the door a young woman greeted me took my temperature and told me to follow her and explained that she would be my chaperone during the scan and the introduced me to the man doing the scan.

That made me more apprehensive than I already was as I was now thinking this young lady is going to be watching me as I had my testicles examined. There was no chaperone when my GP examined me and I never even thought about it when my Ultrasound appointment was being arranged.

I was very nervous and as they showed me to the exam room I saw there was a toilet next door and quickly asked if I could go before we go in. I went and emptied my bladder and then sort of checked myself down there to see if I looked all right. Which seems silly as there was nothing I could do about it either way but it was sort of a way to reassure myself.

I then went to the examination room and was quickly let in, the curtain was drawn around the bed but not fully around and the chaperone said she is “just locking the door due to the procedure you are having”.

They seemed to be in a rush as everything was happening very fast and she the told me to take off my jacket and take anything out of my jean pockets and leave them on the chair next to the bed. Which I then did and she then said I should lower my jeans and boxers to my knees and cover myself up with the paper towel that was on the bed and she went back around the curtain.

As I stood there with the bed behind me I looked to my right where the curtain was still open at the head of the bed and saw a large mirror that meant I could see both the technician and chaperone at the desk at the other end of the room and so also they would be able to clearly see me as I undressed if they decided to look! I thought what a stupid place to have a mirror and if it was there why didn’t they draw the curtain fully closed.

I picked up the paper towel covered my groin with it then pushed my jeans and boxer shorts down to my knees making sure I was facing toward the curtain so they wouldn’t be able to see anything in the mirror and laid down on the bed.

The mirror was on the wall where the head of the bed was. So now I couldn’t see it and the technician came around and picked up the ultrasound probe which looked a bit like a t-shaped electric razor and put some gel on it. He said “so you’ve been having some pain in your right testicle” and I said “yes but its really been more just above it here”, pointing just above the top of my testicle. He then said he can’t examine there without a clinical reason and my GP probably just wants to check there’s no other problem.

This disappointed me straight away as I was under the impression I would have my testicles and groin scanned to try to find the problem and so I now knew this whole thing would be a waste of time as my GP had already checked me and I was now convinced the pain was going into my testicle rather than coming from it, so I just wanted to get the whole thing over as soon as possible.

He said “use the paper towel to hold up your penis out of the way and uncover your testicles” and he then started the scan and this time I did feel it, the wet probe pushing into my scrotum and rolling around my testes. I was not relaxed, sort of laying down very tense with my head and shoulders up off the bed so I could see what he was doing. He kept moving the probe then holding it still and I presume taking pictures on the computer screen as I heard clicking and occasionally stopping to put more gel on the probe. As he went over the top of the right testicle it felt very sore and he took it away then pushed up into that area again and it hurt quite a lot but I stayed silent.

When he had finished he said everything looks fine and told me to “use the paper towel to wipe the gel off then pull up your trousers”. I didn’t do anything as I was waiting for him to get up out of his chair and go back around the curtain but he didn’t move. He sat there looking at me and said again “pull up your trousers”. This is exactly what my GP did and the Dr saw my penis briefly as I had to uncover myself as I reached down to pull up my jeans and boxers.

This time as I had a paper towel covering me I moved the paper towel down a bit and rubbed some of the gel off still keeping my penis covered. I couldn’t clean myself properly without exposing myself so I didn’t bother and pulled my jeans and boxers up while still holding the paper towel over my groin so he couldn’t see anything.

He then went around the curtain and then I heard the chaperone say “ok now just wipe your self down with the paper towel and pull up your jeans and boxers and come around when ready”! So I don’t think the technician was supposed to be there when I got dressed. At least this shows the chaperone wasn’t watching what was going on via the mirror as she sat behind the curtain.

As I put on my jacket she then said to wait 10 days before contacting my GP for the results and showed me to the exit. And I then had an uncomfortable drive home as my balls were still coved in gel that was becoming increasingly warm and sticky.

I got a telephone call yesterday from the clinic asking for feedback from the exam. It sounded like a young lady on the phone and she then asked what did I have scanned and I thought surely they should no all this. So I said “sorry did you ask me what I had scanned?” And she said yes so I had to tell her it was my testes that we’re scanned and I immediately felt very embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone that I have had to have this done and now I’ve just had to tell a total stranger.

I said it all went very quickly and explained I thought I would have had more scanned than I actually did as the pain was in my groin and she then brought up my details and read back to me what it said about the area of pain and that it was a scrotal scan requested by my GP.

So why she needed to ask in the first place I don’t know but she apologised and said this is the problem with telephone appointments as it is not always clear between GP and patient what has been agreed or what the exact problem is. She then advised me to contact my GP and request a hernia scan and to wait until the end of the week for the results.

This was all irrelevant anyway as I had already contacted my GP as I knew the scan was a waste of time and my pain was getting worse. I at least managed to have a lengthy conversation with him and after 5 months of pain he now wants to refer me to an urologist after I have had a urine and blood test.