Caring dom or sadistic dom?

I saw many different people who likes different types of domination, some likes having a dom who punish them a lot, who are sadistic on them and humiliates them. There also some subs or switchers who prefers caring doms, who simply gives them rules, realizes their subs fantasies.. some other likes both.

Personally I have a preference for my own dom who is really caring and also a bit sadistic.

Also do you like it when your dom gives you a list of rules you have to follow? I find it pretty awesome but I always like having my word to say in these rules.

Personally I like someone firm and Stern... But at the same time someone I can trust and know that will care for me.

It's a dual balance. To submit means total trust for me. And to give it i need to be sure the person in front of me will know how to read my wish without me saying. I like to lead from the bottom... So to speak... I tease a lot and give up control when I know I can do it.

But all this is just a personal opinion based on my experience so things would just be different from person to person. I personally don't oppose to a gentle cuddle after a play session. A firm hand to lead doesn't mean for me to accept any kind of pain.

And in my opinion a punishment should never be dealt with anger. Even if the reason is real to deal with it.

But then...i tend to submit more to a bit of humiliation instead of pain. So again all this is my personal opinion.

Being quite sensitive in nature, a caring dom is my preference. I don't take well to insulting and humiliation (even in the context of play), so I prefer someone who can be firm, lead and instruct and be encouraging, without resorting to harsh words. Someone who can show me my place without putting me down. I believe even a sadistic dom is not excluded from this. Someone who wants to give pain, but out of love!

I do see myself as a switch, and I am a gentle dom myself when in that role. Maybe that shapes my preferences as a sub also.

I have always been the dominate half of all of my relationships under most circumstances.

I recently allowed a new girlfriend to take control for the night. I told her she could do whatever she wanted. It didn't take her long to decide. She told me to undress and then blindfolded me and had me lay on the bed. She tied my hands while speaking in a forceful but caring tone. She tied my ankles, pulled my knees up and then pushed me onto my side. She used a scarf to gag me, pulling it tight between my teeth and tying the ends behind my head. She was so forceful but careful not to harm me.

She asked if I was ready for my enema. I squirmed with excitement while hoping she knew what she was doing. I couldn't believe this was happening. She gave me 3 fleet enemas and made me hold them for awhile before untying me.

I had no idea how wonderful submission could be but I don't think I would like a cruel Domme.

I have always been the dominate half of all of my relationships under most circumstances.

Exactly. I'm a straight male switch who loves taking big long enemas as a sub to my partner's Domme. As long as I trust her and she's strict or firm about insisting what I must do for her and likes pushing my limits without being painful or mean, we always had a wonderful time. Submission to her forcing me to endure all my kinks (rubber, sneakers, anal plugs, enemas, bondage, D/s) especially large long enemas was always a great satisfaction for both of us. Other times we'd switch roles and love doing that with each other too.

Eric

I like a Dom that is caring, stern at times, firm, a bit sadistic and controlling when in the bedroom. But when out of the bedroom, I want to be treated as the lady I am lol

@toshe63

That reminds me of a saying..

A slut in the sheets, a lady in the streets.

?

That reminds me of a saying..

A slut in the sheets, a lady in the streets.

A lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.

For myself, I like a caring Dom who is very sadistic. He should rub my hair and kiss my forehead, tell me what a good girl I am. All while he uses many painfull implements on my bruised body.

Simply put, if I ever had a Domme I would want her to be caring. I would want her to tell me exactly what it is I must do to please her sexually and then make sure I do it to her satisfaction. I'm not into pain to any degree; but, I am into servicing my woman in any way she desires.

Simply put, if I ever had a Domme I would want her to be caring. I would want her to tell me exactly what it is I must do to please her sexually and then make sure I do it to her satisfaction. I'm not into pain to any degree; but, I am into servicing my woman in any way she desires.

Just about the same for me. She needs to care enough to want to inflict all our kinks (rubber, sneakers, anal, enemas, bondage, D/s, mild spanking) on me to eventually get me to orgasm for or in her. But firm and insistent and dominant enough to push my kink limits and make sure I understand that she'll make me do whatever she wants to exhaust both of us sexually. No matter how intense or how long it takes. Deliciously fetishistically erotic.

Eric

For myself, I like a caring Dom who is very sadistic. He should rub my hair and kiss my forehead, tell me what a good girl I am. All while he uses many painfull implements on my bruised body.

Sums it up perfectly.

There are many Dominants that are sadistic but care about the subs they play with and sadistic does not mean uncaring!

Doesn't matter what I want, I have a caring Dom who like to get her own way all the time, but she does care for other people. I guess I like it that way, she agrees to go along with all my kinks except one.

I guess we both like the caring and the sadistic, just a matter of finding that balance. I have had it with some but those were short term relationships unfortunately. Wish there was a way to be able to spot Dom and know what signs to look for, I know you have to try them on for size, but are there any clues to look for or tell tale signs to find the right one?

Being dominant for me does not mean I only do things one way and only what I want.

A good dominant will talk and want to learn about the submissive.

The Dom must know the sub and their limitations both mentally and physically and medically.

For instance if a submissive for some reason was on blood thinners and the Dom is sadistic and says he will whip you because you broke a rule that would not be a good idea. After one or two swats of a belt it could rip your skin open and you would be bleeding all over the place. There are many other examples of limitations a sub may have but the Dom MUST know the limitations.

My point is that there must be "communication".

The Dom and the sub need to know each other.

Only when the Dom and sub know each other can there be a good relationship.

I'm not in the scene anymore, but I found that the Daddy/daughter was the best for me. I need a caring Dom that doesn't just walk all over me. Especially since I'm not a pain player.

I would like one who has both sides and knows when to use each side but no humiliation.

My dom is my wife so she is caring for the most part . That being said. I've been asking her to peg my ass and keep getting told maybe.

I think there’s a happy medium. At least that’s my opinion.

Totally depends on my mood, but sometimes I like the sadistic domme and sometimes I like sensual/caring. More often I like sadistic. I will ask her to humiliate me and call me a bitch and she does - and she goes beyond! I love it and when I’m role playing I like mother/daughter where I’m disciplined. I also like ABDL though so.....

A dom has to be more than just sadistic all the time, there has to be both. I am, in the right situation, happy to have a sadistic session where pain, humiliation and being truly dominated are the order of the day however if I take it all well in the way that pleases master/ mistress I want that caring intimate side to come out as reward.

Why do they have to be mutually exclusive? My husband is the most caring man I know yet when we’re playing I really wouldn’t want anyone MORE sadistic.

First the trust has to be there. Then I know the caring is real and that the sadism, pain and embarrassment, have limits.

One former girlfriend got it just about perfect. Like, she’d use different sized buutplugs on me to the point where I could no longer take it, but she respected my limit, and thoroughly took care of my sore bottom in the hours afterward.

I like caring but firm.

I think any D/s relationship is built around the uniqueness of the individuals, and both should develop so the "treatment" is acceptable and wanted by both. A new D/s relationship is always a learning curve for both. From my side, that of the Dom, I'm not really about pain/abuse, if at all, I like to see a pleasurable response from a sub to my "treatment". However, there are always some subs that want/crave "abuse", and that is their pleasure.

Perfectly for me - both in the same time - caring, but really sadistic in the same time.

One can easily be both! I've been with a Dom who got off on my pain but absolutely respected boundaries and made sure I was ok after every session.

Cares physically sadistic in humiliating me

Over the years I have had many women dominate and control me in online role play. It's through those encounters I have come to make up my preferences in how I'd like to be treated as a person and as a submissive to any woman I let dominate me. Key word here is “let”. I've had the caring motherly type, the controlling strict type, and I've even had the not so interested type and even the abusive type. As for those last two types those relationships were vary short. I would like to find a woman who can mother me to some degree while also being my best friend. I'd prefer someone who can understand the line that should never be crossed while also tip toeing it from time to time. One who gives the best after care this big baby could ever ask for. I have a want or possibly a need to be humiliated and teased in many varying ways that is so complicated it would take a lot of time and communication to work out the right system. I do not expect I'll ever truly find the perfect person for the job but I hope I can find someone who is close enough.