For the "he can decide when he's older" parents - a question.

I fully appreciate this line of thinking although i don't personally subscribe to it myself. I do have a question I'm curious about - perhaps moreso for those of you in countries where circumcision is quite common, but please all feel free to share you answers.

At what age would you consider your son 'old enough' to make this decision alone?

If, for example, your 6 or 7 year old son was coming home from school every day, miserable that he was one of the few uncircumcised kids in his class, that he was being teased for being the odd one out, how would you deal with a situation like this?

Or if he was just entering puberty, and these feelings are still there, but now compounded by what he might have overheard from girls at school or friends?

We all know how important it is to fit in with one's friends and peers at a younger age. If you knew your son was unhappy about being uncircumcised at a young age - say, younger than 10 - would you think this is still too young for him to make the decision to get circumcised, despite whatever conversations you may have with him?

I'm genuinely curious about this. This is my own story - and my mother asked me at age 7 if i wanted to be circumcised. She asked me in a way that clearly told me she was totally against the idea though. I did want to fit in very much, and I did want the bullying to stop. But even then I remember thinking - "this is not my decision to make. I'm just a little boy."

What does a 7 year old or an adolescent know about life and the consequences of actions? Not very much. Probably the worst decisions they will make will indeed be influenced by (popular) members of their peer group. Which is one of the reasons why parents fear bad friends and influences so much.

There are lots of things that are bad for children of these ages, that they nonetheless desperately would wish to do or have. As parents, the ideal would be trying to explain why they are bad ideas or why decisions with far reaching consequences should should be seriously thought through or else put off until they are more mature and experienced in life.

Of course kids are notoriously bad at imagining future consequences. For instance put a kid in a Catholic school and in many instances after being worked on a boy in adolescence will say he wants to become a priest and a girl a nun. Obviously heavily influenced utterings, which luckily, most parents don't take seriously or try to talk their kids out of. It usually works too.

If a 7 year old wished to get a tattoo because other kids had one, I wonder what parents would say? Wouldn't be very sympathetic to the idea i bet.

Thank you for your answer agracier.

So snowman, what happened after 7? Did you ever become circ'd (if you don't mind discussing it). I was never circ'd and I'm still happy about it at 67+. But that's just me. I made sure both my sons were uncut also. In their 20's, no complaints so far.

Eric

Agracier,

My sons are in their 20's and uncut and have no desire to do so. How long would you wait before letting your son get a circumcision if he requested one? Why then? Just curious about your thinking.

Thanks,

Eric

My sons are in their 20's and uncut and have no desire to do so. How long would you wait before letting your son get a circumcision if he requested one? Why then? Just curious about your thinking.

c

If, heaven forbid, any son of mine had asked such a question, I would first of all be very curious what kind of hanky panky they got up to in school. Kids worrying about how their penises looked like compared to their classmate's pricks sounds very very weird to me. I would seriously wonder where it was coming from. When I went to school, both in the US and in Belgium, I can not recall one single instance in which this was discussed among schoolmates. I know if I had ever talked about that to my mother she would have literally freaked out and sped off to the school principal/prefect and ask (shouted/screamed) what in the goddamn hell was going on in that school of theirs ... ha ha

Now that said, I'd give the standard answer: when you are an adult (at eighteen) you can do whatever you please. But you won't get much sympathy if you are sorry afterwards. When you are an adult the consequences are yours to bear. Not my responsibility anymore. I would not want that hanging around my neck as a potential for future recriminations ...

Interesting point. I once gave anesthesia to a young man in his early 20's for a circ that he requested because didn't like the way it looked. A few days after healing from the very successful operation, he told me he wished he hadn't done it because it didn't look the way he wanted. Go figure.

Eric

So snowman, what happened after 7? Did you ever become circ'd (if you don't mind discussing it). I was never circ'd and I'm still happy about it at 67+. But that's just me. I made sure both my sons were uncut also. In their 20's, no complaints so far.

Eric

I did wind up actually requiring an emergency circ at age 23. I'd gotten drunk and zipped my foreskin up in my jeans zipper (couldn't find my underpants and it hurt my head too much to bend over to look under the bed). I remember running home doubled over, bleeding and then driving myself (probably still over the limit) to my local hospital where they saw me immediately.

The surgeon gave me the choice of having the operation or not, but warned that the scar from any repair he did may constrict the foreskin. I opted for the circ and then had a revision about 6 years later because the first job was purely functional and a bit untidy.

I got teased mercilessly at school though - junior school. In contrast to agracier's experience - I guess small Aussie boys are not as pleasant as those in the US or Europe. As soon as it was noticed that I was different after a swimming lesson it was open season. I remember a group of older boys would grab me after school, take me out of sight of the teachers and hold me against a wall while one of them pulled my pants down to my ankles and they all stood around laughing at me. Even worse when the girl you think is cute happens to be part of the crowd.

I never told my parents. The last thing I wanted was for even more people to find out I was uncircumcised.

My teenage years were spent feeling decidedly insecure, and then some unkind or thoughtless comments from uni girlfriends. I don't know if I ever would have had myself circumcised had it not been for my accident, but I can't say I'm at all unhappy about losing my foreskin.

Eric

I did wind up actually requiring an emergency circ at age 23. I'd gotten drunk and zipped my foreskin up in my jeans zipper (couldn't find my underpants and it hurt my head too much to bend over to look under the bed). I remember running home doubled over, bleeding and then driving myself (probably still over the limit) to my local hospital where they saw me immediately.

The surgeon gave me the choice of having the operation or not, but warned that the scar from any repair he did may constrict the foreskin. I opted for the circ and then had a revision about 6 years later because the first job was purely functional and a bit untidy.

I got teased mercilessly at school though - junior school. In contrast to agracier's experience - I guess small Aussie boys are not as pleasant as those in the US or Europe. As soon as it was noticed that I was different after a swimming lesson it was open season. I remember a group of older boys would grab me after school, take me out of sight of the teachers and hold me against a wall while one of them pulled my pants down to my ankles and they all stood around laughing at me. Even worse when the girl you think is cute happens to be part of the crowd.

I never told my parents. The last thing I wanted was for even more people to find out I was uncircumcised.

My teenage years were spent feeling decidedly insecure, and then some unkind or thoughtless comments from uni girlfriends. I don't know if I ever would have had myself circumcised had it not been for my accident, but I can't say I'm at all unhappy about losing my foreskin.

Sorry for the long quotation but my iPad won't let me erase selected lines but only the whole quotation. I'm working on a workaround. In any event, snoman, my opinion is that US boys (and some girls) are just as mean as those you encountered, but I'd call them grossly insecure, immature and sadistic. I'm not cut and now 67+ and was never teased or molested about it by anyone. Having a very large very athletic very visible older brother may have had something to do with it. But in fact I was severely teased about my obvious birth defects, being both congenital cataracts and a poorly repaired cleft lip and palate. We can only hope and pray that those who ridiculed and teased us for their own malevolent selfish reasons finally learned their lesson at some point. I sure hope yours did. I've always loved being uncut. Very easy to clean and very effective for masturbation. Those boys and girls who teased you were not only wrong but also colossally stupid.

All the best,

Eric

I'm not cut and now 67+ and was never teased or molested about it by anyone.

I'd say the same. I went to school in the US and in Belgium and teasing or bullying was never a problem for me even though in both places I was considered to be a foreigner - you never can win ... ha ha.

In the US at the YMCA we swam nude and obviously everyone would have seen my uncut condition. But there was never a word (kind or unkind) at all about it, no teasing or being made fun of. I know it attracted the attention (of a different kind) of a supervisor, but that's another story and not really all that unkind either when looked at from a specific perspective.

So it this now a manifestation of the times? I doubt it, some things don't really change over the ages and I;m certain that teasing by young boys is not an exception.

Interesting question, can I put a spin on it? At what age would you let your child (girl or boy) get circumcised, if they asked permission?

Interesting question, can I put a spin on it? At what age would you let your child (girl or boy) get circumcised, if they asked permission?

Once they are a legal adult in the country they reside in, then they can do whatever they wish, if they ask or not. Usually it would be at 18, though I am not up to date on all the laws concerning age adulthood in all countries. Some may vary I suppose.

And even if he were an adult, he wouldn't get a single Euro from me to have it done.