If a woman is attracted to a transgender, is she considered a lesbian?

I hope my question doesn't come across as offensive to anyone, but it's something I've thought about for quite some time. If a woman is attracted to a transgender, is she then considered a lesbian? Can someone enlighten me?

I think you'd first have to describe to what degree the person has transgender/transitioned. Have only secondary sex characteristics been altered? Has there been a reconstruction of new genitalia? And with the latter, it would only matter if you knew the person had transitioned.

On webcam sites for instance, without actually seeing genitalia, I find it difficult to make out a difference between a born female and a transitioned, I would easily mistake many for being born female.

Perhaps it might not be a bad idea to coin a new word for this, so we wouldn't have to go through so much mental permutating ...

But all of that aside, I wouldn't worry about being thought lesbian or not. It's not important as long as there is a mutual attraction. And I hope there is ... the best to you ...

I'm a firm believer in the whole "everything happens for a reason" thing, and if I ever do meet that person, I'll follow my heart. Your response to my post was well written, and appreciated. Thank you for your time. This is another reason why I love it here so much. Good people, good times. ❤️

If a woman is attracted to another person that has transitioned/is transitioning to female....than she is in fact: A woman that is attracted to another person that has transitioned/is transitioning to female. The same goes for the opposite transition. I was never a big fan of labels - though I recognize they can help us form group identities - they can also be used to divide us.

People are people. They are attracted to other people, no matter who those other people are. All of this is a good thing.

Being a man who has a steady relationship with an transgender female all i can say is: for me it was the person i fell in love with. I knew her well before the surgery and in fact, guided her and stood by her side in the process.

To be perfectly fair I'm not at all fussed with what is between her legs. Her personality is all that counts.

I however do not consider myself gay, maybe bisexual, but to be fair the idea of dating a male is something my brain would object to.

So yea, i am big time in love with the woman of my dreams, do not contemplate having it any other way....

Why not just say the person is pansexual?

Why not just say the person is pansexual?

Because the transgender may have a specific preference and attraction for one sex or the other.

Being a man who has a steady relationship with an transgender female all i can say is: for me it was the person i fell in love with. I knew her well before the surgery and in fact, guided her and stood by her side in the process.

To be perfectly fair I'm not at all fussed with what is between her legs. Her personality is all that counts.

I however do not consider myself gay, maybe bisexual, but to be fair the idea of dating a male is something my brain would object to.

So yea, i am big time in love with the woman of my dreams, do not contemplate having it any other way....

Rinusch,

This is extremely interesting, since as a straight Switch male I have about no experience with it. You're a man going out with a transgender woman who you knew well as a man before she transitioned? But your brain would object to going out with a man? If correct (please correct me), when/how did you fall in love with her relative to her transition? Fascinating, and congratulations. Thanks,

Eric

Rinusch,

This is extremely interesting, since as a straight Switch male I have about no experience with it. You're a man going out with a transgender woman who you knew well as a man before she transitioned?

** Pretty much sums it up, however When i met her she was already in the pre-transitionb proces, exploring her feminine side. She never was one of those masculine alpha male types.

But your brain would object to going out with a man?

I never had a thing for the masculine alpha male types. However I do find myself emotionally atracted to some extend when it comes to the more gentle men,

All i know for sure is that there are some archetypal personallities im atracted to.

If correct (please correct me), when/how did you fall in love with her relative to her transition? Fascinating, and congratulations. Thanks,

Eric

The reason I fell in love is quite simple really, underneath it all she is one of the strongest people I know, there is such an intense gentile and loving strength in her, its hard to put to words.

She has had such a bad run prior to her transition and still managed to come out on top, there is strength there and a great personallity, and in the end thats all that counts for me

If correct (please correct me), when/how did you fall in love with her relative to her transition? Fascinating, and congratulations.

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The reason I fell in love is quite simple really, underneath it all she is one of the strongest people I know, there is such an intense gentile and loving strength in her, its hard to put to words.

She has had such a bad run prior to her transition and still managed to come out on top, there is strength there and a great personality, and in the end that's all that counts for me

Has your transgender girlfriend undergone top and bottom surgery yet?

Has your transgender girlfriend undergone top and bottom surgery yet?

I'm not really sure why that would be relevant, but yeah, she had the full run and has finished the physical bits about 2 yr by now.

That being said, for me it really didn't matter, I'm happy she is happy with the results, but for me personally I wish she didn't have to go trough all that stuff to feel complete. I really don't care what's between the legs. I was just as happy being with her when she still had the factory installed strap-on, as said, it's her personallity I fell for, big time.

I hope my question doesn't come across as offensive to anyone, but it's something I've thought about for quite some time. If a woman is attracted to a transgender, is she then considered a lesbian? Can someone enlighten me?

Who knows what the politically correct ilk of today's society thinks? It's a rather messed up situation.

One could probably look at this in a few ways. Those on the politically correct bandwagon who would accept the transitioning male as a female would say he/she is a lesbian because the transitioning person looks like and "identifies" (I use that term loosely) as a woman, when in reality, they are a male with varying degrees of plastic surgery. Then there are those who would say the transitioning person bisexual, liking males and females and then there are others who might call the person pansexual if they are attracted to any gender (a male who might think he is a woman, or a female who might think she is a man), in contrast to any sex.

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Being a man who has a steady relationship with an transgender female all i can say is: for me it was the person i fell in love with. I knew her well before the surgery and in fact, guided her and stood by her side in the process.

To be perfectly fair I'm not at all fussed with what is between her legs. Her personality is all that counts.

I however do not consider myself gay, maybe bisexual, but to be fair the idea of dating a male is something my brain would object to.

So yea, i am big time in love with the woman of my dreams, do not contemplate having it any other way....

In your profile you stated you are bisexual, which is why you "are not at all fussed with what is between her legs" and that has no doubt allowed you to accept your "girlfriend" who is a male, despite the plastic surgery that has been done or what a person has between their legs. Gender reassignment surgery is more significant than a facelift or a nose job, but the person still is what they are. You fell in love with your male friend before any transitioning was done, so you do appear to be bisexual. You ARE dating a male. He has had a lot of plastic surgery. It sounds like you are not being completely honest with yourself about dating a male.

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Has your transgender girlfriend undergone top and bottom surgery yet?

That was simply an academic question because I was curious.

I'm not really sure why that would be relevant, but yeah, she had the full run and has finished the physical bits about 2 yr by now.

That being said, for me it really didn't matter, I'm happy she is happy with the results, but for me personally I wish she didn't have to go trough all that stuff to feel complete. I really don't care what's between the legs. I was just as happy being with her when she still had the factory installed strap-on, as said, it's her personality I fell for, big time.

You knew her well before the surgery, so you to use your words, "fell for" a male, which is understandable since you stated you are bisexual. Your friend has or had sexual identity dysphoria which according to the latest politically correct shrinkologists is no longer considered a mental illness, but rather "distress" due to a mismatch between their gender identity and what they really are. Political correctness strikes again. People with gender dysphoria are typically transgender.

You can change your body any way you want with plastic surgery and hormones, you can change your name (like Bruce Jenner did to Caitlin) to match what your body looks like, but you cannot change your sex. You are what you are.

That brings me to my question about your relationship. Are you concerned about dating someone who in view of their gender dysphoria, might be mentally unstable?

. You ARE dating a male. He has had a lot of plastic surgery. It sounds like you are not being completely honest with yourself about dating a male.

Im fully aware, no problems there, but that being said, its hwho she is and what her body is made up to be that dont match. Considering I fell for who she is, and not what she is, I dont think Im fooling myself here.

I just fully see her as a she, despite what her biology reflects.

You can change your body any way you want with plastic surgery and hormones, you can change your name (like Bruce Jenner did to Caitlin) to match what your body looks like, but you cannot change your sex. You are what you are.

Im afraid we dont really agree on that one. Sure, biologically you are right, there is no doubt, her genome is male, no working arround it. That being said, her personallity isnt linked to that it seems. Who she is now on the outside finally matches up with the inside.

(might also be we dutchies are a wee bit less conservative when it comes to stuff like that.

That brings me to my question about your relationship. Are you concerned about dating someone who in view of their gender dysphoria, might be mentally unstable?

Thats just it, sure, she isnt perfect, there are things going on, but she is one of the strongest persons I know,

Im not sure how to bring it on properly (english isnt my main language) but here goes: Unless you have someone in your direct peergroup going through this proces its (in my opinion) impossible to see the deep and direct effect this transformation had on her. Sure, she was deeplyu unhappy, and mentally in a rather precarious situation before the transition, but now it is done, now her body reflects how she feels and indentifies inside, she couldnt be more happy, its been a few years now and the big problems hae melted away like snow tbh.

@SwitchableSusie said

That brings me to my question about your relationship. Are you concerned about dating someone who in view of their gender dysphoria, might be mentally unstable?

.

@Rinusch said

Thats just it, sure, she isnt perfect, there are things going on, but she is one of the strongest persons I know,

Im not sure how to bring it on properly (english isnt my main language) but here goes: Unless you have someone in your direct peergroup going through this proces its (in my opinion) impossible to see the deep and direct effect this transformation had on her. Sure, she was deeplyu unhappy, and mentally in a rather precarious situation before the transition, but now it is done, now her body reflects how she feels and indentifies inside, she couldnt be more happy, its been a few years now and the big problems hae melted away like snow tbh.

Your English is perfectly clear.

If he/she is one of the strongest people you know, why was he/she so unhappy and in a mentally precarious condition and why can't he/she can't reconcile that she is in fact a male?

I go to a sushi restaurant in my town for lunch frequently. I sit at the counter. A trans woman is in there frequently. She started talking to me. I’m a straight/bi, feminine woman. I have to say, I find myself intriqued by her. I fantasize about her.

.Your English is perfectly clear.

Might be, but still have the feeling im grapsing for words, not easy to express oneself in a not native language ^^

If he/she is one of the strongest people you know, why was he/she so unhappy and in a mentally precarious condition and why can't he/she can't reconcile that she is in fact a male?

Are strength and stability the same thing though? In my opinion, strength is how you deal with something, stability is the actual status of ones state.

When you have the feeling something is different, something is wrong deep inside, it takes strength to keep it together, it takes strength to express that and actually do something about it. The transition is such an involving and heavy process, its not something you choose lightly. Reconciling to it mey feel (i didnt do it) as fgiving up, doenst remove the feeling something is deeply wrong inside. Surrendering isnt by definition strength I think.

How many people strugle for years with being gay / bisexual, some only find the strength to express it far into their lives, with a complete family incl kids they throw in the deep end? Comming out, or forcing yourself to be something you are not for so many years takes strength, but doenst mean a stable state imo.

I go to a sushi restaurant in my town for lunch frequently. I sit at the counter. A trans woman is in there frequently. She started talking to me. I’m a straight/bi, feminine woman. I have to say, I find myself intriqued by her. I fantasize about her.

How did you know she was trans? Did she tell you in way or another?

I am certain that in such large cities where I live and visit, I must see and pass quite a number, but probably wouldn't recognize a trans woman unless I was told. I know there are indications like still having an Adam's Apple, but I seriously do not walk around looking at people's throat. It is the faces that I see and notice first.

I am very attracted to / by preop mtf when they look very female except for that special place, I strongly desire to meet such an individual someday.

@Kab said

I am very attracted to / by preop mtf when they look very female except for that special place, I strongly desire to meet such an individual someday.

"Looking very female equals breasts."

"Except for that special place equals penis."

Are you saying you are attracted to people with a penis who look like a woman on top. In other words, you are attracted to men who have breasts. Is your desire to meet that sort of person so you can receive anal sex from them? If that's not the reason, why are you attracted to them?

Trans is a modifier. Your question therefore does not make sense as worded. You just say “a transgender” rather than “a transgender man/woman.” I think what you want to know is whether a woman being attracted to a trans man (assigned female at birth) makes the woman a lesbian to which I resoundingly say no. A trans man is a man and therefore the woman wouldn’t automatically be considered a lesbian in that sense. Similarly, we couldn’t say that a lesbian who is attracted to a trans woman (assigned male at birth) is “actually straight.” Being with one person or another does not define one’s sexuality.

Fourteen posts have been removed due to the outbreak of hostile argument.

A discussion can be held, but all parties involved must be civil - and that isn't only about the language used, but also the tone of what is posted. This applies whichever side of the debate someone is on and whoever is saying it.

Any posts that are judged not to be civil will be summarily removed.

This is such a serious question for all concerned. Being attracted to a transgender individual, male or female, likely takes time to develop and very personal conversations. I think it also requires the one who is questioning his or her attraction to truly understand what it means to be transgender or in transition to male or female. This is not about sexual orientation!

Be well all of you.

Firstly, is the person a trans woman or a trans man (as the noun “transgenders” doesn't exist).

If she's a trans woman, then yes, you have sapphic tendencies. If he's a trans man, then no, you don't have sapphic tendencies (because of that).

If you were mistaking them for their birth sex when you realized your attraction, then the cases would be reversed. But assuming you saw them as the gender they are when you realized your attraction to them the above mentioned rule applies.

I wonder why some people are getting so hung up about the labels. I realise we need to identify things in order to talk about them but is there really a need to continually correct others on the way they choose to refer to things? Or for that matter to feel the need to vilify yourself and your prejudices by telling others people who they are or are not. Lighten up and watch Monty Pythons Holy Grail where the peasants are collecting muck and King Arthur rides up. It might give you some perspective on tolerance and forbearance.

Just a thought.

I'm in the lane that it does not really matter, if there is an attraction, go with it and enjoy each other. Personnally, I'm BI so I'm happy with what ever is between their legs. Although, I must admit, if what is between their legs happens to ejackulate sperm, I;m a little nit happier.

If a woman is attracted to a transgender, is she then considered a lesbian?

My opinion. Just being attracted to someone without acting on it doesn’t determine your sexual orientation. If the OP is talking about acting on it on a more or less exclusive basis, then if it’s XX to XX it’s “lesbian“. If it’s XX to XY it’s not.

Generally, the hotter you are, the more things you'll do and try. Who you want to kiss, love, be romantic with, spend your life with; now that's what defines you. Just my opinion.

I’ve always felt labels are just a handle to get a general idea about a person’s preferences or personality.

if the woman in question identifies as a lesbian, then I see no reason not to perceive her that way. After all, she is a woman in love with another woman who just happens to be AMAB.

However, she may just as easily identify as bi/pan/queer/etc.

May one can't put a label on the woman attracted to the ‘trans’ unless one figures out what kind of trans to which she is attracted. In my city San Francisco ‘trans' has a big spectrum. I'm limiting description to trans-women: male persons who appear female. Some called “no-op” have had a lot of body work and behavioral training to look like a woman, but do not desire to have the male genitalia disturbed. One might describe these persons as a ‘woman with a penis’ I surmise that most transwoman prostitutes are this category. If I were to book an experience with trans with fully functional female equipment, why wouldn't I just book real woman? “pre-op” persons want the surgery, and of course "post-op' transwomen have had the surgery.

Me, I look like the ‘no-op’ trans but since I know I'm a male, I would label myself a ‘cross-dresser,' even though I've had some upper body work so only rarely does someone I meet ‘make’ me as a man. I've had an obsession with female clothes since I was a boy. I went to full time crossdressing 8 years ago. And I do have a girlfriend with benefits. Maybe she is lesbian. We knew each other professionally a while and were casual acquaintances; she asked me out for coffee. She asked if I were trans (I guess I'm not a perfect trans). I told her I was probably a cross-dresser. That being established we did what other ‘normal’ couples did: more dates, activities, a kiss, a hug…

SwitchableSusie is a transphobe and she only comes on lgbt threads to misgender trans women and call them men. She makes this website unwelcoming to trans people and the mods do not care. I have been here for years and seen her consistently spewing hate in multiple threads. If trans people bother her that much she should just stay out of lgbt sections of the site, but she can't do that because her need to spread hatred is too strong.