Following up my last (post #11 ) ... I was never abused in any legal sense by a doctor when I was a boy, nor afterwards. (But I'm sure that there are some doctors who have their fantasies about patients, including gay fantasies.) But doctors certainly played a large part in the formation of my medfet over the years, and probably in my being gay from my teenage years and afterwards. For many years my boyhood and teenage and even adult fantasies were auto-erotic ones, centred on myself. This was something I didn't break out of, so it was natural that I grew up gay.
No, I wasn't abused in a legal sense by doctors. But, as I've described here before, my boyhood tonsillectomy, at age 4, effectively felt like a 'rape' - it was 'forced' on me by my parents, who readily consented to Doctor Shannon's recommendation that he do it to me. Up until when I went off to hospital, at the age of 4, I had lived happily with my parents, continuously. All of a sudden, I felt betrayed. The matron in the childrens' ward was severe that first night of mine in a strange, darkened place - but my loving parents were miles away! I was on my own, with my operation due next morning. That night proved a suitable prelude. Wheeled into the OR, I was told to move myself onto the operating table. Within moments, they had put a blindfold on me - no-one had told me to expect that - and then placed an ether-drip over my nose and mouth. The fumes were choking and ghastly. I tried to sit up but strong hands held me down. Terrified, I kicked out blindly, but it did me no good.
So that was traumatic! I had been powerless. It was the main basis for my later fetishes, centred on my mouth and associated with oppressive doctors! As I grew up, a Dr Edwardes would make home visits whenever I was put to bed with some illness. Invariably, he would borrow one of my Mum's silver spoons with a curved handle which he used as a tongue-depressor to check my throat - before eventually delivering his coup de grace, namely, a jab of penicillin in my little-boy bum! All of which served to reinforce my developing fantasies involving doctors and the invasive things they did to kids.
Also, I had a relatively lonely childhood and teenage, partly because I developed severe bodily eczema, and missed a lot of school. But that's enough now! My point is, it seems only natural to me that, from the start of puberty, my evolving sexual feelings were auto-erotic ones, which were next-door to gay ones, and that's what I soon realised I was - gay.