First session

So on June 13th I have my first session with a pro-domme only about 40 mins from where I live. I am very excited. I told her that bondage is what I wanted a lot of because it’s one of my favorite things - but there a bunch of other things I told her I wanted too. My question is what guidelines should I follow in a first session? Are there ways that you all like to be restrained that you think I should try? Are there any things that you think should be avoided as someone who is new to all of this? I am sure my mistress has this all figured out but I wanted to get your input as well.

Good luck Sass. This is not my bag but I just wanted to be first to wish you well & hope you get all your expectations met.

I hope it's a memorable escape into something you dream about experiencing.

Make sure they know what you definitely do not want and a safe word is always good especially for your first time.

Good luck and have fun

Make sure they know what you definitely do not want and a safe word is always good especially for your first time.

A safeword that is agreed upon is a must. Make sure all parties agree that once it is uttered all activities stop immediately. Some people like to use stop signal type words. green, yellow and red. I've never found that to be necessary and just agree on a word. You should also have someone with your information on who you are meeting, their contact information and a time after which they start inquires if you have not contacted them. It usually isn't really necessary to go that far but you need to be safe not sorry. Have fun, stay safe

I will have a safe word. Since I will be gagged (as I expressed interest in that) I will have a safe gesture. Or if I grunt three times in quick succession that means stop.

Are there ways that you all like to be restrained that you think I should try? Are there any things that you think should be avoided as someone who is new to all of this?

In addition to the safeword that's already been discussed, there are any number of things that you could discuss ahead of time. Granted I have zero experience with female bondage, but there are likely a lot of things similar to the bondage that I've experienced (and enjoy!).

Over the last year of so that I've been doing this, I've created a list of my likes, dislikes and limits which I send to my prospective Dom ahead of time. That seems to help to make sure we're both on the same page. In terms of categories of things, a few things to think about are:

Positions: Are there certain positions that you do or do not want? Standing? Kneeling? Prone on the ground or on a bed? In a chair? Spread-eagle? Leapfrog (head down, ass up)?

Restraints: Are you OK having wrists and ankles cuffed? Are you OK with rope being used?

Blindfolds and hoods: Are you OK being blindfolded, or having a full hood put over your head? What about breath play?

Impact play: Do you want to be hand-spanked? Whipped? Paddled? Flogged? Those are all different things.

estim and violet wand?

Nipple play? Squeezing? Sucking? Clothes pins and clamps (ouch!)?

For me, I'd ask about CBT, but obviously that doesn't apply to a female. But are you OK with vaginal insertions and play?

Anal play? Anal insertions of fingers, butt plugs, dildos, etc?

Candle wax?

Cutting, needles, blood?

There's also basic things like tickling that are very effective if you're restrained and unable to stop it!

That's probably a good list for starters. 😃

Above all, try to relax, enjoy it and have fun!

By the way, I'm also in Georgia. Interesting. 😃

Jimmy

@Southern_Sass Good luck and have fun

I would have the Domme practice asking you the safe word during the beginning of the session so that neither of you forget. It might seem pretty simple, but when you get turned on it can be easy to forget if it’s not practiced.

If the Domme is spanking you in the wrong place be sure to say something. If the Domme is spanking you too many times on one cheek be sure to say something.

If you don’t want bruises be sure to state that in the beginning.

I would have the Domme practice asking you the safe word during the beginning of the session so that neither of you forget. It might seem pretty simple, but when you get turned on it can be easy to forget if it’s not practiced.

In addition, in severe scenes, if the submissive appears to be in distress, losing consciousness or awareness of the situation, the Domme MUST ask the submissive if she wants to use the safeword AND must also make a determination that the question was thoughtfully answered.

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If you don’t want bruises be sure to state that in the beginning.

Especially at this time of year when clothing or bathing suits become skimpy you must consider if marking/bruises are acceptable. You don't want family, friends or employers wondering why you have marks or notifying the police.

@SwitchableSusie yeah we talked about that too and I told her that especially for a first session, I did not want to be marked. I just wanted to experience this whole thing. I told her that I want in a little pain and a whole lot of bondage. She said that was perfectly fine – she loves bondage and she gets off on inflicting pain so I knew that I had to give her something that she wanted.

I don’t know what our safe word is yet but I think we’re going with the stop light method. Besides we’ll talk for 15 to 20 minutes before a session to make sure we’re on the same page.

@Southern_Sass All of the common terms - mild, moderate, hard, extreme - and their variants are totally subjective to the individuals. Experienced professionals know how to suss that out, knowing that any new sub lacks telepathic skills to create mutual understanding. So, expect things to start pretty slow and carefully (her "mild" might be your "hard") until there is understanding.

Give lots of feedback, but remember to avoid topping from the bottom. Feedback, other than asking for a pause or if you're injured or things are going too far, should be AFTER the session. An experienced professional is very good at reading bodies, breathing, and other cues and may ask questions to gauge how it's going for you. Answer honestly. [The Domme I've seen for 12 years knows me and my body better than I do - it's eerie!)

If the chemistry is good (enough) the first time, expect that it will improve each time thereafter. Most importantly, be aware of your sexual energy and anticipation, but consciously relax. It's play, not an execution!

Sooo.... How did your first session go? Is there an update? I hope it was a positive experience for you.

I have seen her twice now so I guess it's safe to say that our first session was awesome.

I was excited to read your writing, "My Session with My Mistress" thinking it was an account of the session mentioned in this thread. After reading your comment on that story stating that it was not a reality yet, I had to ask.

I am glad everything was great, and that you enjoyed it enough to have another round with her.