All, right, I posted this in a blog, but nobody's read it. I was inspired the other day to pen a bastardization of a Christmas classic, read it now and let me know what you think.
Twas a Nighmare at Christmas 2018.12.25
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Everyone was plugged up and needed a douse
The children in bed with their bottoms so bare
in hopes that thermometers soon would be there
The young ones were worried and shaking with dread
For visions of enemas danced in their heads.
And Ma in her leather and stinging long whip,
She tested my bonds to see if they’d slip
When down by the outhouse there raised such a clatter,
I pulled at my chains to see what’s the matter,
My head was jerked downward, quick as a flash,
The tip of the whip came down with a slash,
The sweat on the breast of my leather-clad mistress,
Assured me that soon I would be in some distress,
When what to my stiffening dick should appear,
Than a sleigh full of bags and eight horny reindeer,
All eight of their members grew lengthy and thick,
I sobbed at my ball gag and began to get sick.
More rapid than rabbits, the reindeer they bred,
I started to strain, and then dropped my head,
They whistled and shouted as each of them came,
With Dasher in Dancer and Prancer up Vixen,
And Comet on Cupid, I had Donner and Blitzen,
From the top of my head to the soles of my feet,
I soon was surrounded with slick reindeer meat
As I serviced that pack as quick as I could,
ma laid into my backside with hickory wood.
As she snapped back my head and turned it around,
She ordered my eyes back down to the ground
I heard a small laugh, it must be St Nick
Ho, Ho Oh OH he's got a huge dick,
Its got a huge head, I heard myself scream,
I wished and I hoped it was only a dream,
As I slowly awoke in a haze from the beer,
I vowed never again to nap through Rudolph the Reindeer
Merry bags, bulbs and diapers
and to all
GOOD NIGHT