CDD is a lifestyle choice that husband and wife enter into consensually. As you can read in my profile, I'm primarily dominant, but willing to submit to my wife's authority as well. If my wife deserves a good spanking from time to time (which she does), then I certainly deserve the same when I misbehave.
My wife is frequently, but not always, in her bra and panties when I arrive home from work. Or, if not when I arrive home, then just before sitting down to eat dinner, she usually strips to her bra and panties. This is not something that I ever asked, let alone "ordered", to do for me. She did it a few times early in our marriage to tease me (telling me that desert would be served in our bedroom after dinner). I told her how much it turned me on (obviously!)... so she's now been doing it frequently for years.
As for "taking her in hand", it sounds like you're referring not only to discipline, but also to sexual intimacy. My wife almost always prefers for me to be the sexual aggressor, but I _never_ attempt to force myself upon her until I know she's giving me the green light. I frequently compliment her by making comments like, "Your sun dress is really making me horny! If you unbutton it for me, I'm gonna have to strip you completely nude and give you a good spanking for driving me crazy!" More often than not, her response is, "Yes Sir."... at which point she unbuttons her dress (she wears a lot of those dresses that button up the front). This is my green light that she wants me to be sexually dominant.
As I stated previously, we do switch things up occasionally. An example of this would be when she texts me just before I leave work to tell me, "I want your body tonight." This only happens a few times each month, so I always submit by saying, "Yes Ma'am." Once I submit, there's no going back... my body belongs to her for the rest of the night, which usually mean that I am required to srtip in front of her without having an erection... which is impossible for me, so she has me fetch the ruler or the 8 inch strap that she uses to discipline my disobedient penis, until it submits to her requirement that it remain flaccid until she gives it permission to become arroused.
For us, playful spanking may or may not be a part of sexual foreplay. But erotic spankings are never as severe as disciplinary spankings. When we administer and receive corporal punishment, there is no sexual activity involved... Sometimes, initial sexual arousal is unavoidable... For example, if I am to be paddled with my wife's hairbrush, I usually have a erection just before laying across her lap, but it doesn't last for more than a minute or two when her brush starts to scortch my bare bottom!
The hairbrush, the razor strop, and the hickory switch are used for discipline. Some punishments are more severe than others, but all punishments are severe enough that any initial sexual arousal is quickly replaced with remorse and a VERY sore bottom.