It seems to me that at the beginniing of almost any BDSM relationship people often spend a great deal of time and effort in an attempt to explain "why" certain acts turn them on. While there is nothing wrong with this, it does seem to me somewhat of a waste of time. Much of the time this seems like an exercise in futility, because it often makes me react by thinking "So what". So as a child Aunt Millie used to take you across her lap, pull your pants down, and spank your little butt. As she did so your genitals would rub across her warm thighs and it turned you on. Now you are an adult and Aunt Millie passed away ten years ago. You spent a lot of time figuring out why spanking appealed to you. Now what are you going to do with that information that is helpful, supportive, or therapeutic for you?Please don't misunderstand me. You may find the exercise meaningful, and it may give you some other insights as a result, and I certainly support that. But might you not be better spending that time actually doing the things that give you and your partner(s) pleasure and fulfillment?