Why I like Spankings

I absolutely love a good cathartic release spanking. But when I do I want to be spanked while I am crying not just until I am loose my composure, I want to be sobbing out of control. It’s the whole power exchanged that happens between me and my boyfriend. I want him get all assertive and direct, it turned me on inside. The trepidation and anticipation is thrilling. For once, I’m in not in control and I know he has to be but I'm a natural control freak, I don’t want to be. To give that control up is terrifying, exciting and exhilarating; it gives me an adrenaline and endorphin rush. I want age regression, I want the challenge of fight and flight. The anticipation of what I know will be a painful spanking is out right enchanting to my senses. I want to willingly surrender to him. Everything is turned on inside when I accept a spanking and it’s not worth taking unless it’s unbearable and doesn’t make me loose my composure.

Everyone is right about crying though, for some it’s an emotional condition and some it’s a physical thing. However, I would like to propose it’s preparation, corporation, communication, will power and determination on partners. For me it about mental preparation, determination by both me and my partner. I want to be pushed over the edge about once every other month but I too have a extremely high pain tolerance. In order to get what I fell I need and want, it’s takes a resolve both for me and my boyfriend. It took him over a year to finally get it and to learn how to get me to that point. It takes me a good three days to mentally prepare for it.

I love the age regression but not all into the role play. I’m his girlfriend not his daughter and he isn’t my daddy. I’m not into being restrained. For me, there’s no sense to force myself into taking something that I’m shouldn’t be will myself into remaining in position and accept. I’m not against him not taking charge some, locking my legs and holding my arm back. But I feel, if I'm want summit to a whupin I asked for, than I to muster the will power to submit to him and process we discovered works for us. That too is an adrenaline rush and more satisfying to both me and my boyfriend if, by shear will power, I accept it and stay in position no matter how bad it hurts. That’s just us I know everyone is different. But I challenge you consider what I’m about to say give it try.

The preparation is mental corporation, communication determination for both of you. Once I’ve decided that I want a full blown absolute real age regressive and cathartic sobbing release spanking, I have to willingly give up all my control. This isn’t easy unless you are connected with your partner, for us it’s not about playing anymore, it’s therapeutic but is also cereal. Giving up every bit of control before you start is half the mental battle. It’s a lot easier going into it when I’ve already determine in my heart and mind to give all control over to him. Once I do this it’s easier to allow myself to give in and get that therapeutic cathartic sobbing release I want. It’s scary I know but this translates into complete and unstrained submission to the spanking process. That means no safe word, no swat limit and no time limit. Knowing this before we start the spanking, that I willing gave up have these controls starts the process for me. I have to resolve in my heart and know that it’s not going stop until he decides, not me. It’s also a commitment and determination on my boyfriend parts to make sure he’s going give me the most real and painful spanking he can without holding back. This too is hard for him to do especially because he loves me, but he’s gotten use it when it happens.

The actual spanking is intense and lengthy. I do have a really high pain tolerance. To make sure we are both in agreement we go over what type of spanking it’s going to while I push everything down to my knees in preparation for going over his knee. I keep everything on to make sure there’s a distinguishing line from anything else. But it is of course on the bare ass, absolutely no protection. Yes, I love this types of spankings too about once every other month or so. My Kevin has gotten pretty good at getting me to that point now. Yes, it means absolutely no warm up and starting right off on a cold bottom. Yes, I ask him to go all in full blown as hard and fast as he possibly can from the very first swat to the very last. Yes, I prefer the shock and awe beginning. It hurts from the beginning but it has too to accomplish our goal. Another thing, we discovered is that the thinner stingy implement are more effective in this case. His choice implement is the flat part of the handle of a bamboo back scratcher from Walmart. This allows him to wail on my backside without breaking. It’s not thick like a big paddle and gives him more control swing it. It’s long and just wide enough to really sting like all get out. It’s not just the intensity that gets me over the edge, it also about duration. He has too commit to keep up that intensity throughout the entire first spanking, until I finally loose my composure. Yes, it takes a pretty dam hard, intense and lengthy paddling to get me crying. But remember we both agreed this would happen before it ever starts. He also agreed that he wouldn’t stop either until I’m crying really hard. Than, I have to laid over the couch and he uses his belt again, until he feels I had enough, no swat limit, safe word or time limit until he feels I had enough not me.

Knowing this before it starts is half the battle lines for a therapeutic cathartic sobbing release I want. It’s preparation, corporation, communication, will power and determination on both our parts.

Any thoughts?

Can anyone else relate with the no warm up fast and hard "shock and awe" start, and wanting it that way?

Anyone else have really high pain tollerance like me?

It sounds like what you really need is to be caned with a three foot long, 3/8 to 1/2 inch diameter delrin rod.

Can you say black and blue marks, broken skin and bleeding?

You won't sit down for days to a week. 😁 😁 😁

Giving up every bit of control before you start is half the mental battle. It’s a lot easier going into it when I’ve already determine in my heart and mind to give all control over to him. Once you do this it’s easier to allow myself to give in and get that therapeutic cathartic sobbing release I want. It’s scary I know but this translates into complete and unstrained submission to the spanking process. That means no safe word, no swat limit and no time limit.

Be careful what you wish for.

Maintenance Spanking Choices

When I boyfriend decides to give me a maintenance or warning spanking I have some options to choose from. They are both spanking until I’m crying and I don’t get choose know how many swats I’m going get. He calls me down and I have to choose two option. Before the spanking with that flat part of the handle with that dam bamboo backscratcher, I have to make some choices. All spanking are going to be as hard, as intense, and as long as he determines. Maintenance spanking are usually medium force swats but delivered really fast and furious. It stings like the dickens and it stops right when I am on the verge of crying and loosing my composure. Here are my choices.

Pre-Spanking Choices

The first choice I have is 5 and 5.

Choice first choice is before the spankings: Do I want a 5 and 5, meaning that I can either stand in the corner for 5 minutes with my noise against the wall for 5 minutes followed by 5 minutes hand spanking warm up. It starts off slow and last 5 whole minutes last 3 minutes are always fast tempo. I have bare my bottom, pull my britches and everything when I am right in from of him.

The second choice Shuffle and Cold.

I have start from all the way across the room and pull everything down, pants and panties all the down my ankles and slowly shuffle always across the room with my hand over my bottom as I'm shuffling. Since I don’t have to stand in the corner though I get absolutely no warm up. The spanking start out right on a cold bottom with the fast and Furious medium for swats with the bamboo backscratcher. So is a shock and awe from the first whack.

Post Spanking Choices

Corner and no Rubbing

First options is that right the spanking is over I go right over to the corner for 5 minutes with my noise in the corner and I can’t rub my painful bottom.

Post Spanking Dance

Second options is immediately after the spanking stops, I do a spanking dance performance for at least a minute. Pushing your hips forwards, arching her back, throwing your hands over your flaming bottom and frantically rubbing , simultaneously hoping up and down and turning about. Than get comforted and being held with after care.

What is it about guys who need to visually turned by what they see. What would you choice. For me, I choice whatever keeps me from standing in the corner.

FYI: Flattest part of the bamboo backscratcher sting like all get out. It whaps both cheeks simultaneously and you don’t get numb from it either. It’s thin enough make for a concentrated impact and strong enough not to break. BURN THEM ALL!

What would you choosea and why?

Would made these suggestion to your partrner to get out standing in the corner.

Fast and furious with my bath brush on my bottom by my wife! Restrained, very hard, very fast tempo, no warm up, even harder when I beg and plead for her to stop, until WELL AFTER i have stopped begging, pleading, & stopped all my struggling, and accepting that i have No control, she and she only will keep on spanking me until she is satisfied.

Then when it is finally over, being held to her breasts, still sobbing, as i thank her & suckle her breasts for my comfort!

Spanking Performance

For punishment spanking it's also humilating and boyfriend has me perform for him. I always get a hard long paddling hard and fast with no warm up over his knee. There is never a specified number of swats and always until I'm crying before I have to lay over the couch for a belt spanking. He calls the paddling a starter because when it's a punishment he whups me with his belt while I am crying. So the starter is the pre-belt punishment. However, this is what he makes me do.

After a few minutes in the corner with my noise against the wall. Before a spanking my boyfriend love me to shuffle all the way across the room with my jeans down to my ankles and my panties down to my knees. I’m instructed to keep my hands over my ass rubbing with every little shuffle.

He loves it when I do a post spanking dance for him after he give me a good paddling with the flat part of the bamboo backscratcher. I throw my hands over my ass, push my hips forward and hop up and down frantically rubbing my ass after he lets me up. He says he really gets turned by it. I do naturally but I also do it long just for him. I don’t get why guys gets so turned by it. What is about guys who like to visually see everything.

Am I the only one who does that post spanking hop? Or have to shuffle over across the room like that.

FYIv Ladies if you have a bammbo backscratcher, BURN them all. It sring like nothing you felt before. Its not thudy like a paddle, it won't break, you never numb to it so no matter how many times he whacks you it alway like new and the flat part of the handle is the worse! BURN THEM ALL!

We wrote up our discipline/emotional release spanking agreement. We had to write out in detail what is and what is not a discipline or emotional release spanking. Remember, I have a very high pain tolerance so we had to spell it out and make it very clear what to expect. These are bullet points in our discipline agreement word for word. This is why I don’t like discipline spanking all lot but sometimes I do ask for one for emotional release but the same rules apply because I need that cathartic release and I have such a high pain tolerance. I helped write it and we both agree to it. Yes, I’ve received a few of them over to two years or so dating my boyfriend.

There’s absolutely no safe word: Nothing you say will stop, slow down or keep the spanking from continuing.

There’s absolutely no warm up: This means four things.

1. It start off on the bare. There is no layering. There’s absolutely no protection, completely bare from the very first swat to the very last swat.

2. It start off with an implement of his choice. There’s absolutely no hand spanking. It begins with an implement from the very first swat to the very last swat.

3. It starts off very hard. Theirs is absolutely no gradual build up. It very hard from the very first swat to the very last swat.

4. It starts off with instant intensity. Shock and awe on a cold untouched backside. It begins fast and furious from the very first swat to the very last swat.

There’s absolutely no swat or time limit. There no count down timer set and it is unlimited swats. There’s absolutely no specified number of swats. There’s absolutely no time limit. The spanking will last as long as he determines and as many swats as he feel is needed for the punishment.

There is absolutely no short spanking: An absolute real spanking doesn’t start until you are right at your pain limit, and you want or begging for it to stop. It’s very through, it keep going until you convinced that it’ll never end and you completely loose you composure and you are crying freely.

Those are the built points and the final statement word for word from our agreement. His implement of choice is usually the flat part of the handle of a bamboo backscratcher. His motorcycle, bamboo until you boohoo. Another favorite implement of his is an think leather office belt. Sometimes depending on what I do, I get both.

What's in your discipline agreement? Any thoughts?

Please bare with me, I’ve never had a outlet to words things and I have a little dyslexia too, so writing doesn’t come easy sometimes. If you have a better way of describing what I says, girls please help a girl out!

People around me have literally no idea of my private life of submission and the satisfaction I get from allowing myself to really let go and have my man be dominate in this area. I have a very type A personality, highly motivated and I keep people at bay with a tuff and brash exterior. I love the girl power exterior but I love the complete submission to my man. I doubt anyone would even believe me either. Its like I find complete security in surrendering to my man and my private life keeps my external life in check too. With my relationship, it helps me not to fight with him and respect him like I should. Its like taming a wild horse.i know I’m riddle with contradiction sometimes aren't I.

But what’s more addicting is the actual spanking itself. I feel I am actually addicted to real hard spankings. But is the appeal for me? Willing wanting to submit myself to my man. The endorphin high feeling I get when I'm struggling and willingly give up control durring the spanking. The power exchange of turning that control over to him. Its like the harder the spanking the more endorphin rush I get as it continues and I get all turned on. I love the conflict. It’s the adrenaline rush of being brought to brink between pain and surrender when the fight or flight kicks in. When the pain is so great I begin to physically tear my pillow apart with my teeth. I love the conflict of being push right to that point fighting with inside weather I should give up and stop the pain or relinquish that struggle and give in to it and allow myself to cry from it. I’m not really into bondage but a spanking very primal and personal to me. The strange thing is, I find satifaction crying for when but I resist it at the sametime durring the spanking. I feel I'm just a freak somtimes.

For me I could not allow myself to be restrained, I understand everyone is defferent though, I love the struggle to stay in position. I love the battle with the will power to take accept it willingly. There is just something in the moment of having my behind set fire and being that venerable to my man and no one else. It the adrenaline and endorphin rush to allow myself to be at my point of my spanking pain threshold that I find so addicting. Where my mind, my body and my will power are all in conflict. I am a crying because I want to be but I have to force myself to submit to the point of surrender. Once I am there and my pain threshold is at it’s peak, weather is conscience or subconscious I make the decision to cry and sob and that’s what I want too. I want the bonding experience to be bawling in the arms of the man I love. I hope I am making sense. Am I a pain freak? If I am it only a spanking pain freak.

That’s why, weather it’s a discipline spanking or a cathartic release, I want the same kind of experience. A real hard unbearable spanking that takes me to brink of conflict. The difference with is how Michael feels. If I really disappoint him my than I seem to accept it as discipline and correction. But if I need that release and its my crazy emotions running away with me inside. I just need that adrenaline fix and bonding experience with him. Both provide more bonding feelings with him.

But since I have such high pain tolerance to get really good satisfactory spanking for the both of us, it has to be giving to me a certain way to get me to the point of fight and flight and pain and surrender and will power conflict that I am addicted too. We have tried heavy thud thick paddles and thick wide western belts with slow type swats really hard but he would just end up stopping because of the condition of my backside. He just wasn’t conformable to continuing and he wouldnt get so much as even a peep from me except a few grown. But what we discovers is that it’s not so much how hard he hit me. I'd wiggle, gigle, flex and clench some though. We discovered it was what he uses and how he was using it. We discovered that for me, the thinner stinger implements are better. We discovered that it wasn’t a matter of how hard but duration and intensity. It he uses lighter weight but sturdy implements or thinner office belt that sting a lot more apply them real rapidly for much longer period works the best. I know lucky me, right. I will wiggle, giggle, flex and clench but often times it will take Michael several minutes of continuous rapid fire style spanking to get to that point of fight and flight and pain and surrender and will power conflict. Everything gets turned on inside when I get to that point. It took serial months for him to adjust to spanking me like that too. At first he felt like a brut. Once we discovered what works, over time he got accustom to it. At first he would feel bad about doing it. Not so much the case anymore though. But I’m addicted to the painful sensation that it give me and being push to my pain threshold struggle. Am I the only one?

Do I love real hard painful spankings, yes, do I hate them sometimes, yes, do I love rapid fire swats for a long time, yes, do I hate sometimes, yes. Do I like shock and awe beginning, yes, do I hate them, yes. I know I’m a mess aren’t I?

Am I a freak, am I weird or am I crazy or all the above? Any thoughts?

For the record, I have a real love hate relationship with that dam backscratcher, but he decides what he wants to use, it come with the territory.

We made some changes for his preferences to domestic discipline. I’m really trying to listen more to Mike more but something I don’t get. Everything in quotations are his words not mine.

He said he had his reasons and we’re still taking about things but we started a “new process” few nights ago when I got a pretty good maintenance spanking with his office belt. I’ll be posting another topic about that later. Mike is a tower of consistency and he wants more “structure to our routine so you always get the same message.” Again more about this later.

Since I have been overly abused my safe just because I could in our journey in domestic discipline the past few years and now that we are engaged, I’ve relinquish it for good. It was my idea. Really didn’t need anyways, I trust him with my life and since I have such a high pain tolerance maintenance and warning spanking were pretty much ineffective. We completely revised our discipline relationship for the new year. I’ve been more honest with myself since last month’s foolish episode. I really didn’t need a safe word, I had to admit I was only playing games and sending the wrong message to him and he finally caught on. The game was a foot. Again more about another time, I digressed.

Now, I have to spend a few minutes in the furthest corner of his condo, (hate this) until he finally calls for me. No matter if it’s a discipline one or not. He is usually sitting at the dinning room table about 10 feet away. Than I can turn around but I have to wait. After a little lecture, I have to get ready right there. After he tells me too every single time he wants my jeans all the way to my ankles and panties just down to my knees and no further. Than he wants me to slowly shuffle over to him with my hands on my bottom every inch of the way. Over ten feet away! I don’t get it. I’m obeying him but what’s with that? I just want to black it out and get it over with and move on as quickly as we can.

His default position now is over his leg. He puts his foot on the foot stool and I lay across his massive leg, dangling at both ends and pretty bent in half. He said he it’s “better visually, when wiggle and jiggle, flex and clench, weather it’s a little or a lot.” It has something to with the “seeing muscular definition of my butt cheeks during the spanking.” Because it takes him few minutes, no matter kind of spanking it is before I start reacting to it. It “a visually clue” for him. What with all the visual thing? Again, I just want to block it out and get done with it, why all this routine and specifics?

Than to make matters worse what’s embarrassing me is visual “performance” for him. If it’s a particularly long spanking and it get really stingy and right when I start struggling a little, he stops let’s up and I do naturally I end up doing this “post spanking dance performance.” I push my hips forward, arched my back and began hopping up and down frantically rubbing my behind. I’m not necessarily crying but it hard and long enough for me be yelling, fluttering my feet and almost begin biting down on my pillow. By the way, every maintenance and warning spanking will be like that for now on. He isn’t telling me to do but I get the idea base on what happen the other night that he will make sure I end up doing it. I don’t know why but he said he actually like it when I do it? Again, it something visual, I don’t get? Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only that ends up doing of this this “dance” in real life after a good semi hard spanking? It’s really embarrassing to me why does he like watching me do it?

Why can’t he just get on with the spanking, you would to think, I’m be the one stalling but it’s him making it of a more a process. I just want get it over with so we can move to the rest of the day or evening. I just want to the part where he is just holding me reassuring me. Or if it a discipline one, crying in his arms, where I feel so secure.

No matter what kind of spanking it, does it have to be such a visual thing, you know what I mean? Is this a guy thing?

We are still talking about thing but we are talking more about wedding plan now too. I’d like some feedback though, any thoughts?

It sounds as though the routine he wants of you having your pants at your ankles, your panties to your knees and shuffling to him is about you showing your submission and obedience to him. With your hands on your bare ass as you shuffle towards him, I think psychologically he likes seeing you trying to shield and protect your bottom from the spanking you are about to receive. To answer your questions about it being a visual thing...quite simply, men are visual and women are emotional when it comes to feeling arousal.

I like your attitude and feel the same way about spankings (whether giving or getting)... the one being spanked really isn't in charge. Certainly it's a trust that builds up over time, but the choice really is to be spanked or not to be spanked. Actually, I feel the same way about enemas. But, again, it's a trust that builds up over a time and an experience in knowing what you're doing and in reading what's going on. Glad you've found what you're looking for!

Like my parents used to say... a good hard spanking never hurt anyone. As kids we were belted on a bare bottom. I do think there is a benefit to regular scheduled spank therapy. The submission and dread can be a great deterant fir a bad attitude. It also leaves a week long reminder if done right. And spreading your cheeks for an anus whipping really drives the message home. The same for spreading for a pussy whipping. Ouch! For me, I squirm too much and need my legs tied back.

As an adult I have never been spanked to tears and I have never been strapped (though I want to be on both counts)

Maintenance Spanking Choices

When I boyfriend decides to give me a maintenance or warning spanking I have some options to choose from. They are both spanking until I’m crying and I don’t get choose know how many swats I’m going get. He calls me down and I have to choose two option. Before the spanking with that flat part of the handle with that dam bamboo backscratcher, I have to make some choices. All spanking are going to be as hard, as intense, and as long as he determines. Maintenance spanking are usually medium force swats but delivered really fast and furious. It stings like the dickens and it stops right when I am on the verge of crying and loosing my composure. Here are my choices.

Pre-Spanking Choices

The first choice I have is 5 and 5.

Choice first choice is before the spankings: Do I want a 5 and 5, meaning that I can either stand in the corner for 5 minutes with my noise against the wall for 5 minutes followed by 5 minutes hand spanking warm up. It starts off slow and last 5 whole minutes last 3 minutes are always fast tempo. I have bare my bottom, pull my britches and everything when I am right in from of him.

The second choice Shuffle and Cold.

I have start from all the way across the room and pull everything down, pants and panties all the down my ankles and slowly shuffle always across the room with my hand over my bottom as I'm shuffling. Since I don’t have to stand in the corner though I get absolutely no warm up. The spanking start out right on a cold bottom with the fast and Furious medium for swats with the bamboo backscratcher. So is a shock and awe from the first whack.

Post Spanking Choices

Corner and no Rubbing

First options is that right the spanking is over I go right over to the corner for 5 minutes with my noise in the corner and I can’t rub my painful bottom.

Post Spanking Dance

Second options is immediately after the spanking stops, I do a spanking dance performance for at least a minute. Pushing your hips forwards, arching her back, throwing your hands over your flaming bottom and frantically rubbing , simultaneously hoping up and down and turning about. Than get comforted and being held with after care.

What is it about guys who need to visually turned by what they see. What would you choice. For me, I choice whatever keeps me from standing in the corner.

FYI: Flattest part of the bamboo backscratcher sting like all get out. It whaps both cheeks simultaneously and you don’t get numb from it either. It’s thin enough make for a concentrated impact and strong enough not to break. BURN THEM ALL!

What would you choosea and why?

Would you made these suggestion to your partrner to get out standing in the corner?

Spanking Performance

For punishment spanking it's also humilating and boyfriend has me perform for him. I always get a hard long paddling hard and fast with no warm up over his knee. There is never a specified number of swats and always until I'm crying before I have to lay over the couch for a belt spanking. He calls the paddling a starter because when it's a punishment he whups me with his belt while I am crying. So the starter is the pre-belt punishment. However, this is what he makes me do.

After a few minutes in the corner with my noise against the wall. Before a spanking my boyfriend love me to shuffle all the way across the room with my jeans down to my ankles and my panties down to my knees. I’m instructed to keep my hands over my ass rubbing with every little shuffle.

He loves it when I do a post spanking dance for him after he give me a good paddling with the flat part of the bamboo backscratcher. I throw my hands over my ass, push my hips forward and hop up and down frantically rubbing my ass after he lets me up. He says he really gets turned by it. I do naturally but I also do it long just for him. I don’t get why guys gets so turned by it. What is about guys who like to visually see everything.

Am I the only one who does that post spanking hop? Or have to shuffle over across the room like that.

FYI: Ladies if you have a bammbo backscratcher, BURN them all. It sring like nothing you have ever felt before. Its not thudy like a paddle, it won't break, you never numb to it so no matter how many times he whacks you it alway like new and the flat part of the handle is the worse! BURN THEM ALL!

Why? Stress relief Fun Giving up control . Some of my most favorite spankings I will say have been punishment type at bedtime. The whole part of having my panties lowered and being lectured for what I am about to be spanked for. Sometimes its just a spanking other times a whole discipline session that includes various punishments.

Kimnecco,

Does your boyfriend have all these choices written down? how does he remember what the choices are?

I have spanked many over the years many times and never really given anyone a choice. Maintenance is what i feel you need and punishment is what I feel you deserve to receive to learn your lesson. Just my opinion. Just let it happen and that's it.

Kimnewco,

You seem like a kind and caring woman, but I was overwhelmed by the complexities of a spanking from your boyfriend...

On the other hand, 'it' all starts in the mind, but he is still there with details - like I've never imagined before. And, I've been measuring out sensual discipline for years.

To my way of thinking, I would want to negotiate a revised scene that works for both parties. And, lacking same - if he is exhausting you with too, too many details, there are a hundred other men on Zity.biz who would like to make your acquaintance.

NOW, go out and make it a gr8 day!

Spankings for me go back in my mind to when mom and dad would discipline me to make me a better person. A spanking session would result in me bawling my eyes out and followed by a punushment enema or two and sleeping in a diaper. About an hour after I expelled the enema they would come talk to me about what i did, check my diaper to see if any residual enema leaked out. Change me if needed and go from there.

Having realized that they spanked me out of love, I yearned for more spankings. My wife was happy to oblige me, although reluctantly at first.

After the birth of our kid, i reminisced about mom breastfeeding me. This was easy to remember since she still did so until I was potty trained (between kindergarten and first grade). My wife produces excessive milk so my mouth is happy to relieve the pressure for her.

So I get to experience a relatiobship with my wife that relives what i no longer get from my childhood.