Are mothers or fathers more influential in circumcision decision?

Do people think or know whether fathers or mothers have the greater influence on the decision to have a baby circumcised? We never discussed it in my home but my father is uncircumcised and I was circumcised. I have always suspected that he was the one who thought I should have the circumcision because he either found having a foreskin to be a cultural or physical problem.

I can equivocally state that my mother had the last word about me remaining uncircumcised. But then again i was born in Belgium where it was not then, and still is not now, customary to circumcise the newly born. Also, he was half a world away in Korea at the time, making the world safe for democracy or whatever the slogan was at the time ... ha ha.

That however did not keep my father from insisting that I get cut when older. In fact he never stopped his rants on the subject, even when I was 25 and about to get married. My parents had arguments/fights about the subject from time to time while I was growing up. Not fun to listen to, believe me. But my mother never gave in. Never surrender. She still recriminated against my father about this when she was in her 80s when they were having their 'remember the good old days' squabbles and fights. Such friggin' fun to listen to ... sigh sigh

Then again on the other hand, my younger brother - born in the USA - was circumcised. probably for a number of reasons, one of the main being that in the 1950s, boys were cut at birth as a matter of course and certainly no European mother was going to tell an American doctor otherwise. So, to hell with her wishes. I also suspect that my father went behind her back and made sure the doc knew what to do with my brother, namely turn him into a clean cut American kid ...

So, I guess you could say that both got their way - mother and father - but I'd say that my father did it the sneaky way, by subterfuge, but that my mother held her ground in my case.

A cousin of mine was circumcised for medical reasons (phimosis) but there was the choice to either circumcise or to wait for a more natural issue. As far as I know my aunt opted for surgery after she became persuaded the kid would have infections otherwise. She and her sister my mother were both obsessed by bacteria and cleanliness, and my mother admired the "clean" result. So I guess it was the mothers deciding, though I'm unsure about my uncle's input.

I was dragged into a relatives debate about having their son circumcised. My cousin (baby's father & his bothers) they were all uncircumcised an preferred to keep his son uncut. He just didn't want to have his son circumcised just because it was automatic to have your son's foreskin removed shortly after being born.

His wife and her mother on the other hand wanted to have him circumcised. Their main reasoning was based on cleanliness, infections or a tight foreskin. The last two reasons: it looked "clean" and "to look like the other boys". My cousin finally agreed to go an have his son circumcised. Mainly, because his wife was going to be "stay at home mom" and she would be the one doing the majority bathing,, ...etc. .

I know when I was growing up guys didn't look another guys penis. I've see several of my friends naked between: school bathroom and locker rooms, friend's homes, college roommates and communal showers I never looked to see who was cut or uncut.

The last two reasons: it looked "clean" and "to look" like the other boys.

I know when I was growing up guys didn't look another guys penis. I've see several of my friends naked between: school bathroom and locker rooms, friend's homes, college roommates and communal showers I never looked to see who was cut or uncut.

Exactly. When I was growing up in 1950s-60s USA, I can't recall a single instance when another boy commented on my being uncircumcised, not even when I went to the local YMCA and nudity was mandatory in the swimming pool. Not one of the other kids mentioned it, compared penises with me and certainly did not make fun of me. That i would have remembered all too well.

Who did notice however, was a supervisor (or whatever they are called at the Y) and - in a polite manner of describing it - during a sleepover he took advantage to do some further research on the differences between cut and uncut.

But among kids ourselves? Naw, you just didn't do things like that.

So, who are they fooling, those mothers or others coming up with the 'looking like others' excuse? If all members of society practiced Nudism, there would be something to the argument. But otherwise? C'mon.

My wife left the decision up to me when our son was born. I chose to not have him circumcised even though I am.

Most parents I know have made that decision together. Were I to have a son, I am not sure... some people I know hate that they are cut but others desperately want to get circumcised but have yet to save up the money, to the point one friend begged me to do it (I told him he needed to find a medical professional or perhaps a mohel (probably a good thing he didn't ask my hubby since he preforms minor veterinary procedures on the farm here he might say yes ) )... I would not want put my son through the horrors of an adult procedure that several men i know have gone through, but I also feel it might be best his choice... In the end I think I would have him sniped since there are some benefits included heightened sexual pleasure according to some studies (others claim almost the opposite I know). Anyone who knows someone who suffered from Phimosis might well even argue it is abuse not to have it done (my one friend couldn't even have sex of any sort without extreme pain and even had to seek attention at the ER a couple of times). He was a bisexual man and made damn sure his son was cut even though the mother objected...

If mothers are so worried about 'cleanliness' (as if soap and water doesn't do it) in their sons, maybe they should consider female circumcision for themselves in order for 'cleanliness'. It should be a male's right to make that decision for himself. If the skin is too tight, a simple dorsal slit can remedy that without having to take off all of it.

Dan

others desperately want to get circumcised but have yet to save up the money, to the point one friend begged me to do it

How much would a circumcision cost? Surely it cannot be an expensive operation, even if paid completely out of your own pocket, which I believe would not even be necessary. I'm certain almost any doctor can come up with some kind of valid sounding excuse to get it paid for by medical insurance.

My wife left the decision up to me when our son was born. I chose to not have him circumcised even though I am.

Have you had experiences that made you feel that you missed something by being circumcised? Did you have any conversations with men who were intact that led to your decision? Did aesthetic preferences affect your decision?

Have you had experiences that made you feel that you missed something by being circumcised? Did you have any conversations with men who were intact that led to your decision? Did aesthetic preferences affect your decision?

No to all three questions. I simply didn't see a need for a painful medical procedure that serves no purpose other than aesthetics. To me, cutting off the foreskin of the penis makes no more sense than cutting off your earlobes or pinkie toes.

And I had heard that the foreskin is the repository for thousands of nerve endings. Nerve endings that can only amplify the pleasures of sex. Why deny that to my son? I hope he grows up to have amazing, mind-blowing sex with his fully intact sexual organ some day.

How much would a circumcision cost? Surely it cannot be an expensive operation, even if paid completely out of your own pocket, which I believe would not even be necessary. I'm certain almost any doctor can come up with some kind of valid sounding excuse to get it paid for by medical insurance.

Yes new born I think it under $500 but because still considered elective it is an extra cost (I know my sister in law decided against it sue to that but her husband didn't want it anyway, although knowing my sister in law it would have happen if she wanted despite her husbands wishes). If my friend found a Dr to come up with a valid excuse ( I think his extreme emotional distress should be enough) it would be free. The clinic I found in calgary I believe said it is $2800 which seems outrageous to me but then most cosmetic surgery is too high priced. Canada has universal health so it's not like it is a company policy saying we won't cover it, but it is viewed as unnessecarry although it is odd because if he tried to do it himself or had someone else do it the system might be on the hook for huge expenses from hospitalization too ER costs. My ears stick out a bit and I had a dr late as my 20s tell me they could fix it implying no cost. So yes even the most obviously cosmetic items can be made medically necessary by one Doctor or another. I just couldn't get over the dr saying you gay right why haven't you had your ears done? She meant well I am sure but I had lots of painful teasing in school, when younger, when I got to high school no one said a thing and ran into one kid who had the surgery and he said for years he was called turban head afterwards (due to the bandages after the surgery). My parents had told me I could have the surgery but I always said I was happy how I was. Really "big ears" and "dumbo" only went on till about grade 6. I know that Dr, was wanting to help me with that flaw to help butT even though they aren't flat they don't ever stick out as much as prince charles so not really that bad. And as more than one has said love handles on your head are not a bad thing.

KC I think it likely a wise enough decision but the ones I know who have had it and now don't claim that sex s so much more pleasurable without a foreskin. But that could be for many reasons. I only said that I would because I have known several guys with issues as well as a half dozen who just wanted to be cut. I do know two men who feel they were mutalated by being cut. There is no right answer for everyone in the end probably. I mean yes it's natural leave it there is the most logical thing but so are wisdom teeth and we usually yank them out (still have mine as the never caused issues yet although I know one is more filling than tooth, so I am if it ain't broke done fix it sort, just know the fix when older in the case of foeskin is far more traumatic when older).

PS:Apologies for all language purists I noticed 3 times in the past few days I used 'ain't'. I do know better but just feeling rebellious I guess, where is the English teachear to haul out the strap and teach me a lesson. Lol

As an American in my early fifties, I am circumsised and very glad to be as well. I don't feel cheated or "mutilated" in any way. I have always been told that I have a beautiful cock. I'm gay and had never encountered an uncircumsised cock until I moved to the UK. There is a difference playing with the two as each has its own sensitivities and magic spots. Both can be kept clean, but all too often the uncut guys I have had sex with don't always/ usually retract their foreskin to pee and I'm just not keen on putting a smelly cock in my mouth.

I used to work in the children's hospital in the States, often in the newborn nursery, and I would say that mothers usually have more of a say in whether their baby boy is circumcised or not. Usually they want him to be like his father, though dads do have their say too.

I mean yes it's natural leave it there is the most logical thing but so are wisdom teeth and we usually yank them out (still have mine as the never caused issues yet although I know one is more filling than tooth, so I am if it ain't broke done fix it sort, just know the fix when older in the case of foeskin is far more traumatic when older).

I think if you're an "if it ain't broke, done fix it" kind of guy you would be in favor of leaving the foreskin intact. Because there's nothing broken about the way the penis looks when a boy is born.

I know KCP I am complex... but I do know how painful and disruptive an adult circumcision can be so I see it better to do it as a baby. But if i held my little baby in my arms who knows i might say you are perfect as you are, i can't imagine having your little peepee touched... I am a gay male who has no intention to have a child... did have a teenage nephew living with us for several months that was enough parenting...

I know when I was growing up guys didn't look another guys penis. I've see several of my friends naked between: school bathroom and locker rooms, friend's homes, college roommates and communal showers I never looked to see who was cut or uncut.

I noticed every boy's penis.

Canuck Brat: In France, circumcision for medical reasons is covered by social security and private insurers, while circumcision for ritual or other personal choice is not. Thus, according to several sources, families who want a kid circumcised but don't want to pay for the cost sometimes find complacent physicians who sign off surgery under the pretext that the kid has "tight phimosis" even though he has not. An alternative is to get the kid circumcised while on vacation abroad (e.g. North Africa).

A few years ago, I saw an ESPN basketball analyst who is in his 50s with his son, who appeared to be about 18, in the Atlanta airport. The kid was really cute so when he headed for the men's room I followed. The urinals were crowded so I was able to stand next to him and got a good look at his circumcised penis. His father works out at my gym and I had seen him in the shower. He had an uncircumcised penis with a long foreskin with a lot of overhang that tapered down to a snout. I wondered what thoughts he had about getting his son circumcised and if the decision was based on aesthetics or functionality. I have always had fascination with the decision process behind the decision in favor of circumcision of a son by an uncircumcised father.

I have always had fascination with the decision process behind the decision in favor of circumcision of a son by an uncircumcised father.

Maybe the mother had a big say in the decision. Or other family members influenced the choice. Or a doctor talked/scared the parents into consenting to a circumcision.

Lots of variables in play.

Knowing what I know now, thanks to the internet, I feel it should be the boy's personal decision when he is old enough to decide for himself. There is so much information available now about different styles that the old slip a tube under it down to the back of the glans and slice off what is over the tube is really archaic.

Agracier, exam doc: In my family, where nobody was circumcised, clearly the reason for circumcising my cousin (and subjecting me to various examinations) was a doctor scaring off my aunt (talked about infections) combined with my aunt's (and my mother's) obsession with cleanliness. I'm unsure about my uncle's input in the matter. I'm also unsure about my father's decisions if a doctor had advised circumcision in my case (he did not wish to get too much involved in the daily affairs of child-rearing).

My dad was definitely against circumcision. I recall him commenting during the dinner meal one evening how an aunt had taken my cousin to the doctor to have him circumcise. He was very upset with her. I was probably age 10. My mother was of the belief that if the foreskin would retract on it's own so that the glans was permanently and fully exposed that circumcision was not necessary. This is why I ended up at the doctor's office at age 12 with the doctor tugging and stretching my foreskin. PAINFULL!

I recall him commenting during the dinner meal one evening how an aunt had taken my cousin to the doctor to have him circumcise. He was very upset with her.

A corollary question: why would a doctor circumcise a youngster on an aunt's say? Unless she were a legal guardian, aunts have no say in allowing medical procedures on nephews. It seems that the doctor must have been mighty quick in deciding to do what the aunt asked. Far too quick.

Given the fact that the mother was usually the one who was there when da kid was born I say it's the mother. My mother was emphatic about it when the doctor asked her if she wanted me cut. Her answer was an unequivocal NO! But not because of any feelings about circumcision, she just didn't want them to cut anything off her "perfect baby boy". Even though my father was not cut I don't think he had any input. I know I didn't have any input when mine were born and it went the other way, my wife said "cut the little bastard", twice. I was not allowed in there so I had nothing to say about it.

It may be changing now, I hope, as more fathers are allowed to attend the birth of their kids. Although there seems to be a lot of talk my girls who say they like the looks of a stripped penis with glans showing and no extra skin. I find that atrocious because I wouldn't do that to them. I like the look of a spread pussy with the hood lifted so I can see the clitoris. I find that quite erotic but I certainly wouldn't have my girl baby's hood and inner lips removed and possibly have her labia majora modified to expose what's inside just because I like the way that looks on a woman.

@ agracier

I suspect that the aunt was the mother of the cousin.

Knowing what I know now, thanks to the internet, I feel it should be the boy's personal decision when he is old enough to decide for himself.

I was circumcised as an infant. I was told as younger brothers were done it was for cleanliness and health reasons. I'm not sure any of that is true but I am really happy I have no knowledge of it. To make the decision as a youngster would be cruel and unusual punishment in my book.

If they had differing opinions I would hope the one who didn't want to would have the most say. It is always something that can be done later, but can't be undone.

@ agracier

I suspect that the aunt was the mother of the cousin.

Yeah. I guess that would make more sense.

For some of us, with respect to our male offspring, it really doesn't make a difference. It's not Mom and Dad who decided. It's a much "higher" authority!