Suggestions to move into anal fisting

I imagine I'm letting my fantasies move a bit too fast, but why not?

Anyway, I've been interested in having my wife fist me for a while. Interested enough to check out her hand size and I think it's doable from a physical standpoint, but we do need to get there. Just to be absolutely clear: this is her hand going in my ass.

At this point she's only fingering me with 2 fingers, but it's comfortable and I'm certain I could do 3 (tried it myself, indeed I can get up to 2" pretty easily). However, I can't really just push back a little harder than usual and then give the excuse "oops! It just slipped in!" We've got to talk and plan first.

I'm not interested in "elbow deep" or "two hands" yet, just one hand to the wrist. I know a bit, such as fingernails and plenty of lube. For me enemas are a non-negotiable - I'm going to clean out and clean out well. I don't want her to find any shit on her hands and I know my bowels are wonky.

What I'd like very much are ideas on how to move to that point and discuss it with my wife (I'm fine with a slow process), as well as ideas on what her concerns and anxieties might be and how to assuage them (I know one - she's going to be worried about hurting me. That's why she won't give me enemas).

Any other tips would be great.

Can you comfortably talk about sex with her? If so, then just ask. Maybe a good time would be right after she fingers you with 2 fingers. After your play time, as you are cuddling and basking in the glow of orgasms, mention how you'd like to feel more fingers/something bigger inside you and go from there. Tell her you have the perfect lube, and she can wear gloves to protect your insides from her nails. Maybe don't bring up fisting per se, but just tell her you'd like to keep trying bigger things as long as its still pleasurable.

My guess is this is a process that will take multiple days so you will both really need to be on board to make it work. You have to stretch a muscle and get it used to the stretch without hurting it. Just like in one day you can't train yourself to do a full split - it takes time.

Good luck!

I'm planning on weeks or months.

I'd really like to hear from the ladies about what concerns they would, might, had or might have had if their guy wanted them to fist him (or the guys on what their partner's concern was). I'm thinking that the "is he secretly gay" thing might not be as big a concern as it can be with pegging, but I'm sure there are others.

Unless you told her that you were looking for a burly bear in a leather policeman's cap, why would she think you were gay?

You are suggesting good wholesome HETEROSEXUAL anal play.

Perhaps it's a sudden interest in musical theatre, or constantly humming 'YMCA' that is making it sound gay.

Best of luck. Take it slow, and enjoy!!

Unless you told her that you were looking for a burly bear in a leather policeman's cap, why would she think you were gay?

You are suggesting good wholesome HETEROSEXUAL anal play.

I am well aware that all buttplay (or any other sex play) with my wife is and must be heterosexual. However, I have been looking at stuff on introducing pegging (another one of my desires), and there's a lot more out there on talking to partners about it. Evidently one of the common fears that women have is that their partner will become gay and leave them if they strap one on and do their guy's butt. Another common fear is the mess. Actually both of these can be fears by both partners - even the guy who wants to be pegged.

Fisting isn't nearly as talked about, so that was why I am asking here. I was thinking that they "gay bit" wouldn't be as big of an issue because phalluses attached to the pelvic area aren't involved, but there must be other common fears that partners have, and I want to make sure that I can address them before I bring this up so I don't "scare her and leave her hanging for a while"

I am almost positive that some variant of "breaking my ass" will be on the fear list (along with mess), so I do have plan to discuss safety and hygiene.

P.S. - you are the first person I have seen to ever use the word "wholesome" to describe fisting. Cool.