I read none of the books. I own all 3 of the 50 shades trilogy movies. My wife and I liked the first one in the house I built with a 60"flat screen and built-in Bose surround sound. We both enjoyed all three movies. Both actors looked good and the score was nice to listen to. We didn't consider that the story was bad. We enjoyed it.
At Susie's suggestion, I watched Secretary.
I have no BDSM experience, so 50 shades was a novelty for us. It was stimulating both visually and audibly, but it was beyond any personal experience.
Secretary though...well that brought back an incredible memory. Even though the woman has been dead for 5 years what happened 11 years ago still brings a very stiff erection when I think hard enough to recall the details.
It was her 60th birthday and she was secretly upset because no one had celebrated her birthday. She was a good friend of ours and she would often invite us down to her 50' motor yacht for a drink and some conversation. On this occasion, we had given her a birthday card, but my wife declined her invitation and walked four docks over and retired for the night. I went with her alone, which was not unusual. She wanted to smoke some pot with me, but I declined, saying it interferes with my workout regimen. So I sipped a glass of tawny port that she offered me while she smoked and drank an ample glass of bourbon and little 7up, all of the while whining about how she wasn't appreciated. Finally I got fed up with her self indulgence and told her if she couldn't wear her big girl pants and have a proper conversation, that I was going to pull her pants down and give her 60 birthday spankings on the bare. Her immediate reaction told me that was exactly what she needed and before she could turn her smiling amazement into a protest, I was next to her in a flash and "ordered " her over my lap. She had on loose fitting thin pants and they were easy to pull down around her legs and reveal her bare ass; which was magnificent and as I applied the 1st one, she issued a mock "That hurts!" and I said, "No it didn't, I barely touched you. But if you don't count them all out, I promise you, it will hurt!"
And then we started in about one good swat every second and a half or so. I wanted to draw it out and I wanted to make sure she counted. To make sure, I swatted her a couple of times and then went back to the original count and she protested that it was not fair, but I told her that they don't count unless you count them out loud. Somewhere in the 40s, I was aware that she was aroused, which put an authentic smile on my face, but it also put me in a sort of dilemma. There was no way that I intended to have sex with this woman, because it would always be the Elephant in the room anytime we were all together. Never-the-less, I had embarked on a mission and I intended to finish it. At 54, I gently swatted her in the middle, just over her ass hole and she issued a sensual moan, but no count. So I did it again, and again no count just a moan. Realizing that I could probably have this woman anyway I wanted her, and just as sure that I wasn't going to go through with it, I put my lips to her ear and whispered, "This is going to take all night if you don't count." I thought I heard, "It's Ok." Then I knew I had to finish it up and get her tucked in for the night, then get off her boat and get back to my own. That's exactly what I did. She wanted a good night kiss, and she put her arm around me and it lingered for a little too long. But I did leave her in good spirits. The next day she took my wife and me out to breakfast, saying we had some good conversation last night.
I got turned on just writing this.