Requesting a specific position for a DRE

I was born and raised in South America and moved to the US when I got into college.

My first prostate exam was done down there and the doctor had me drop my pants and asked me to lay on the bed.

He pulled out the leg supports and had me slide down until my legs were wide open on the stirrups, knees flexed, butt hanging and asshole fully exposed.

He performed a prostate exam that way and checked my genitals.

Since coming to the US I've had it done in the Sims position or bending over the table.

Stirrups was by far the most comfortable and fun position.

a) when I go to my physical is it OK to ask what position she will use? If so,

b) can I request a specific position?

You could, but DON'T.

That's what I needed to know. I wasn't sure if requesting it would raise a flag and there would be a note such as "patient is a freak" on my file. lol

I don't usually disagree with Susie (oh, the horror!), but in this case, I disagree. Yes, you can request a specific position, but you just have to do it in a way where you don't come off as a complete pervert. I've asked a good number of times when I'm seeing a new doctor for the first time. When I see a doctor that I've already seen in the past, it's a non-issue and I usually don't have to ask.

My preferred position is on the exam table on my elbows and knees, head and chest down on the table, ass up. I will always try to have it done in that position. But when push comes to shove (pun intended), I will comply and have it done in any position that they request. I can ask/request a position, but ultimately I go along with whatever they want. I've never had it done in stirrups -- that might be taking the request a bit too far.

If a doctor is about to perform a DRE on me, they would typically ask me to either stand up and bend over the side of the exam table, or to roll over onto my left size and pull my right leg up. Those seem to be the most popular ways to do it in the U.S. (in my experience).

If they want me to lay on my left side, I ask if we can do it some other way, since in the past I've twisted my back doing it that way (true). I've never had a doctor refuse to use another position when I say that. They certainly wouldn't want to risk messing up a patient's back. If they ask me to stand up and bend over the exam table, I'l politely ask if they can do it another way. Probably 90% of the time, they'll ask what I'd prefer. I tell them that in the past I've had it done on the table on my elbows and knees and that I've found it to be much more comfortable for me (true). I also add that I've been told by a previous doctor that it's much easier for them to reach my prostate in this position (also true).

At that point, the ball is in their court. They can agree and you can get into position. Or they can say no, and then you simply comply with what they requested in the first place. As I said, I've never asked to have it done in stirrups. That would be absolutely awesome to try, but in my way of thinking, that really may cross the line and give them the impression that I'm doing this just for my own kink.

The most important thing: Be polite, non-demanding and casual about the whole thing. And use some common sense and don't ask for something so outrageous that it is obviously just to satisfy your kink.

Do you really need to request a position for something that takes 10 seconds?

Remember that the purpose of the DRE is diagnosis, not your thrill. In order to provide the best possible exam, the doctor needs to do the best exam they can. If you get them out of their comfort zone, the only person that may suffer is YOU.

Do you really need to request a position for something that takes 10 seconds?

No, there isn't an absolute need to do so, but I do. I also request which arm they'll use to draw blood. And whether I'll receive a shot in my left or right arm. I request that the doctor not use the tongue depressor, since the taste and feel of that causes me to gag. Those are also things that don't take very much time. If you have a preference, I see no problem with asking, especially since you are the consumer.

Remember that the purpose of the DRE is diagnosis, not your thrill. In order to provide the best possible exam, the doctor needs to do the best exam they can. If you get them out of their comfort zone, the only person that may suffer is YOU.

Understood, and I agree. That's why you ask but not demand. I've had a few doctors (very few actually) that deny my request and decide that they'd rather use whatever position they're more comfortable with. The way I see it, as is the case with most things in life, it doesn't hurt to ask -- as long as you do it the right way and are willing to accept that the answer might be a resounding NO.

. . . . I also request which arm they'll use to draw blood. And whether I'll receive a shot in my left or right arm.. . .

I make the same requests.

Those requests are different from requesting the position for a DRE. . . .but I'm sure you already knew that! 😁

My Fam . Pract. Dr. has me in Simm's. My urologist has me bend over the table and is done in a few seconds, but of course he does many of them everyday.

I am on record here about the position which (as a gay bottom) makes the most access and comfort sense: hands and knees. (Hands down? 😃 If you simply bend over, you don't open up naturally, hence the request to 'spread your cheeks'. If you attempt it laying down, same problem, or challenge.

It was an easy, seamless position with my completely straight doctor because he had the exam table lowered at that point. I didn't request it. I just got into that position.

It goes without saying that gay doctors, at least in NYC, the same ones who introduced the male pap test as part of a male physical exam, always used it.

I am on record here about the position which (as a gay bottom) makes the most access and comfort sense: hands and knees.. . . .

The potential problem with that is one of balance. Older people may have difficulty with that position because there is nothing to hold on to that will stabilize the body from falling.

Believe me, the doc can get in just fine with you in the Simms position and nobody has to worry about anybody falling over and cracking their head against the floor or other equipment in the room.

Do a DRE with the patient on all fours? Are you kidding? I never do that. It's totally unnecessary and it's asking to have someone fall and hurt themselves. I've been sued (unsuccessfully) several times and there's just no need to risk my ass for something so stupid.

If a certain position is not physically possible or too painful due to a health issue, then asking for a different position is appropriate. A perfectly able-bodied person requesting a specific position just isn't appropriate.

The potential problem with that is one of balance. Older people may have difficulty with that position because there is nothing to hold on to that will stabilize the body from falling.

It's totally unnecessary and it's asking to have someone fall and hurt themselves.

I must really be missing something. Are you saying that getting on the exam table on your hands and knees is a difficult position, and potentially dangerous? I've never thought of it in that way before. You're on the table, holding on to the sides if necessary, and fully supported by the table. If a patient has serious stability issues, I could see how any of the positions might be a challenge for them. But I'll obviously defer to those of you who are professionals and do this kind of exam. I can only speak for my own personal experience.

I've never made a request. It's been on my side on the exam table once but mostly standing and bent over with elbows on the exam table.

I must really be missing something. Are you saying that getting on the exam table on your hands and knees is a difficult position, and potentially dangerous? I've never thought of it in that way before. You're on the table, holding on to the sides if necessary, and fully supported by the table. If a patient has serious stability issues, I could see how any of the positions might be a challenge for them. But I'll obviously defer to those of you who are professionals and do this kind of exam. I can only speak for my own personal experience.

Yes, not everyone can safely climb up on the table in the inherently unstable hands-and-knees position.

It might have been missed: ...'he had the exam table lowered...' meaning that it was barely above the floor. I would understand some concerns if someone older had to climb up, but this was not the case. It ends up lower than a chair or sofa seat.

You can hurt yourself in a small fall. Imagine your arm gives out... It's not about the height or the climb, it's the potential sudden stop.

Why not flat on stomach, face on the pillow? That's how it was for me growing up when we got rectal exams, temps, suppositories and enemas

Why not flat on stomach, face on the pillow? That's how it was for me growing up when we got rectal exams, temps, suppositories and enemas

Because that makes it more difficult to effectively access the prostate.