Why aren't all kinks appealing to everyone? (To some extent, anyway)

I had to compress the title a bit, but you get the idea. Like many people I have a few kinks but many others hold absolutely no appeal for me. I just read the thread about how a kink might be formed in the first place. I THINK the answer to my question may be contained in the suggestions as to the formation, (i.e. in the actual early experiences that result in our kinks.) I do understand the appeal of these other kinks but I cannot visualize myself experimenting. Kinks, therefore seem quite "specific".

I consider myself a tolerant, broadminded, and openminded individual, so I'm a bit surprised that a lot of the material on here interests me, but doesn't tempt me.

It's a good question. But really isn't that the same as asking "why doesn't everyone like broccoli"? Or "why isn't everyone's favorite color blue"? I feel that like most things in life, part of an individual's interest in a particular kink is genetic (you're just born that way), part of it is how you were raised by your parents, and part of it (probably a big part) is due to your own life experiences (whether you experienced something that "triggered" that particular kink). That's my theory.

What Jimmy said except I was going to use pistachio ice cream.

What Jimmy said except I was going to use pistachio ice cream.

I don't like pistachio, but I do like medical exams and jockstraps! See, there's a perfect example.

Like others have said before, genetic disposition, experiences, upbringing, and personality type all lead to differing kinks.

I find real medical exams fascinating to analyze, study, and participate in, but I have zero interest in play exams.

Being very honest here, there are other sections on this website that I won't even browse through because I find them unrelateable, uninteresting, or even off-putting. But that's exactly what this type of website is for - a place for people to engage as much or as little in as many or as few topics as they want.

You are all entirely correct. On reflection, it was rather a naive question. All kinks are specific, and it was a stretch on my part to think that there would be significant overlap. We like what we like, and I'm happy to keep it that way. Kinda like free speech....I may not like what you say, but I will defend your right to say it.

I was operating on the assumption that since most kinky people have a certain mindset, they might be more open to other varieties of sexual expression. This was a flawed assumption on my part. Not for the first time, and probably not the last...............

It's definitely interesting to see the different range of kinks that people have. This site is one of the few that cater to my specific interests, and there are lots of kinks here that I either have no interest in at all, or nearly make me nauseous.

ibrox said

Why aren't all kinks appealing to everyone? (To some extent, anyway)

That's a good question.

Why don't you like Harry Potter snot or vomit flavored jelly beans?

Why do you like one beer better than another or some not at all?

Ibrox said, " I was operating on the assumption that since most kinky people have a certain mindset, they might be more open to other varieties of sexual expression. "

Ibrox, I do think there is some truth to that assumption as in I believe when you have a kink , accept that you do indeed have that kink then it does leave you more open minded to explore other kinks or to at least be more understanding of them .

I have added to my likes on my profile a couple of times since joining Zity two years ago . Some because I was introduced to the subject by other members either by reading in the forums or conversing with them in chat . Others because , well I reached a deep level of intimacy with someone that just enabled me to be more open with myself and want to explore either his kinks or new kinks that we wanted to explore together . Sometimes it takes the right person to make you feel safe or secure enough to let go of any misconceptions of things you were afraid were " taboo" .

Zity is an amazing place for self discovery as well as learning so much about others .

...I was introduced to the subject by other members either by reading in the forums or conversing with them in chat.

I agree that zity has a way of broadening your horizons, so to speak. Case in point, I originally found this site years ago when I was looking for medical fetish stories and conversations since I knew that interested me quite a bit. But once I was here, and I started to read other sections of the site outside of medfet, I realized that I too am interested by some of the other kinks discussed here. Did I always have interest in these kinks? Or did I become interested in them just from reading about them here? I may never know.

Jimmy Johnson , wonderfully said but I must apologize , your last sentence immediately brought up a vision of that old tootsie pop commercial with the wise old owl " the world may never know " . I cant stop giggling , thank you lol ?

your last sentence immediately brought up a vision of that old tootsie pop commercial with the wise old owl " the world may never know ".

Yes, I took a proverbial bit out of that Tootsie Pop that we all like to call "kinks". And we may never know if anyone can reach the center without biting it. But actually, there are a number of kinks represented here that involve lots of licking, so I do think it's possible. 😃

I read somewhere that people who are more adventurous (skydiving, bungee jumping, skiing, mountain climbing, etc) are more sexually adventurous. Additionally, those who are sexually adventurous tend to be more liberal (not necessarily politically). I'm not sure that this fits with the question but there seems to be a relationship between kink and liberal mindedness and liberals tend to run the gamut on likes and dislikes whereas conservatives tend to have a narrower focus. So in asking why do you like what you like on here you must realize that there are many different views of many different kinks.

Lovetoplay , I really had to think hard to figure out if your assumption holds true in my case . I am a ton more adventurous in the bedroom than I am elsewhere . I am quite shy (until I am comfortable) . I am petrified of heights so definitely none of the adventures you mentioned would I attempt ( nor want to). I do like to have fun but my idea of being adventurous is more like camping in a cabin as opposed to a renting a house by the lake -lol

As far as being liberal or conservative ( this might ruffle some feathers ) I am probably ALMOST split down the middle , slightly leaning a little bit more towards the liberal side . I dont pick one partys side and agree with all they stand for but I take every issue and judge for myself what it means to me .

It will be interesting to hear where other members fall into these caregories .

I would like to point out one thing that I find true to what they say , watch out for the shy , quiet ones 😉

I find my kinks and my hubby's are a frequently evolving thing. I am really open minded so unless something is a true hard limit I like to think I would try most things at least once. I think my primary fetish was from possibly genetics and how my brain rewired several traumatic experiences that I experienced multiple time over. However hubby and I opened our minds to BDSM by joining our local kink community and doing what they consider taste of kink nights to explore new things. I think most of hubby's add on kinks were more from him reading about something it sticking in his craw and asking me if we could try it. I have never had a request that he has brought to me so far that I have turned down. I also make sure he knows I won't judge him for bringing these ideas to me. Usual my response is an excited "Sure why not!" If there are concepts he desires that I can't wrap my head around at first he usually writes me out a short story and explains it better there and I usually get it then and its off to experiment. 😃

While I've had a few for my lifetime others have evolved over time. Some of my earliest sexual experimentation began with my ass so anal play is always on the list. But others have been added because of seeing what others are doing and realizing that it turned me on more and more.

TIME FOR TURNABOUT.

@Ibrox: These are your kinky interests. Why is your list so limited?

Exhibitionism ( Everything to do with it )

Foot/Feet ( Everything to do with it )

High Heels ( Curious about )

Oral Sex ( Everything to do with it )

Pantyhose/Stockings ( Everything to do with it )

Sex Toys ( Curious about )

Voyeurism ( Everything to do with it )

Watersports ( Everything to do with it )

=======================================

Here is my list, and there are still other activities in which I have no interest.

Anal Sex ( Everything to do with it )

Ass Play ( Everything to do with it )

Ball gag ( Everything to do with it )

Biting ( Everything to do with it )

Blindfolds ( Everything to do with it )

Bondage ( Everything to do with it )

Breast/Nipple Torture ( Everything to do with it )

Breath Play ( Everything to do with it )

Butt plugs ( Everything to do with it )

Caging/Confinement ( Everything to do with it )

Candle Wax ( Everything to do with it )

Chains ( Everything to do with it )

Chastity Devices ( Everything to do with it )

Cock and Ball Torture ( Everything to do with it )

Collars and Leashes ( Everything to do with it )

Corsets ( Everything to do with it )

Cuddling & Spooning ( Everything to do with it )

Dildos ( Everything to do with it )

Discipline ( Everything to do with it )

Doctor/Nurse Play (MedFet) ( Everything to do with it )

Domination ( Everything to do with it )

E-Stim ( Everything to do with it )

Enemas ( Everything to do with it )

Erotic massage ( Everything to do with it )

Exhibitionism ( Everything to do with it )

Fisting ( Everything to do with it )

Handcuffs ( Everything to do with it )

High Heels ( Wearing )

Latex ( Everything to do with it )

Leather ( Everything to do with it )

Lingerie ( Everything to do with it )

Masks ( Everything to do with it )

Masochism ( Everything to do with it )

Master/Slave ( Everything to do with it )

Masturbation ( Everything to do with it )

Mutual Masturbation ( Everything to do with it )

Nipples ( Everything to do with it )

Nudism ( Everything to do with it )

Oral Sex ( Everything to do with it )

Orgasm denial ( Everything to do with it )

Outdoor sex ( Everything to do with it )

Pain ( Everything to do with it )

Pantyhose/Stockings ( Wearing )

Pinching ( Everything to do with it )

Power Exchange ( Everything to do with it )

Rimming ( Everything to do with it )

Role-playing ( Everything to do with it )

Rubber ( Everything to do with it )

Sadism ( Everything to do with it )

Sensory Deprivation ( Everything to do with it )

Sex In Public ( Watching )

Sex Toys ( Everything to do with it )

Spanking ( Everything to do with it )

Strap-ons ( Everything to do with it )

Submission ( Everything to do with it )

Suppositories ( Everything to do with it )

Talking Dirty ( Everything to do with it )

Vibrators ( Everything to do with it )

Voyeurism ( Everything to do with it )

====================================

Why don't YOU like all these things? They're really a lot of fun!

By replying, you will have answered your own question.

TIME FOR TURNABOUT.

@Ibrox: These are your kinky interests. Why is your list so limited?

=======================================

Why don't YOU like all these things? They're really a lot of fun!

By replying, you will have answered your own question.

Sorry, @SwitchableSusie , I missed your question back in April, (been traveling).

I have noted on other threads that on a scale of 1 to 10 my kink level is about a 0.5.

I used to say 1.5, but i keep revising downward, and I'm OK with that. I'm really just dipping my toe in the water, so to read your long list of activities makes my eyes glaze over.

As you well know, this is all very subjective, so for you to assure me that "They're really a lot of fun" is not going to convince me. I'm happy for you (and Hubby), but I will just continue taking baby steps into the world of kinks, and, I hope, learning as I go.

If everybody liked everything, they wouldn't be kinks!

I read somewhere that people who are more adventurous (skydiving, bungee jumping, skiing, mountain climbing, etc) are more sexually adventurous. Additionally, those who are sexually adventurous tend to be more liberal (not necessarily politically).

I consider myself a moderate who leans a little to the right. I am also not a very social person, and prefer to spend time alone or with my wife. I tend to be uncomfortable in social situations unless I know the people well. However, I am very adventurous sexually. And I find the older I get the kinkier I get. Luckily for me, my wife is pretty adventurous sexually as well.

As far as adventure outside the bedroom, I do like to scuba dive, hike the mountains and ride motorcycles. My Harley Road King is great for long rides with my wife, but isn’t exactly a high performance machine. Soon I will be buying a Kawasaki Ninja H2 to add to the stable, which will more than satisfy my quest for high performance.