Submission turned into obesity

I wasn’t quite sure where to post it but my story certainly started as one of dominance and humiliation. Shortly after leaving school I left home and a month or so after that I moved in with an older man. I had met him first in a gay chat room and we then started talking and WhatsApping each other. I knew he wanted to dominate me but he was kindly and affectionate too and I needed that.

When I arrived there were things he did immediately. Having stripped me down to nothing, he weighed me and then put me into diapers and plastic pants. The diapers were to be a permanent fixture so I had better get used to them. After weighing me he said I needed some building up.

The building up, as he called it, started immediately. I was encouraged to drink as much Coke as I could and to snack continuously. I also ate junk food at every meal. We ate out often. He seemed to eat very little but he plied food on me. I was always bought the large order of French fries and the most calorific burger. It was two big Macs or halfpounders rather than one. At first I felt I was being pressured to eat but I couldn’t object because of all the loving care and attention he was giving me at the same time. It would sound ungrateful and any road I had nowhere else to go. Also, he had insisted that I stop smoking when I came to his home, so the craving for a cigarette made me especially hungry.

However, as the weeks passed and the craving for nicotine disappeared, I started to become hooked on Coke and junk food. I drank three to four liters a day. Somehow my thirst was never slated. If I hadn’t had a Coke for a few hours I would really crave for one as if I had become addicted to it; indeed, I had as I learned later. Eating was also developing an appetite. The more I ate, the more I wanted to eat and the less ever larger meals were satisfying my hunger pangs. I could have an enormous evening meal but by the next morning I was as hungry as ever. In fact I was starting to be hungry just about all the time, despite constantly grazing between meals.

Unsurprisingly, I started putting on weight. At the end of every month he weighed me and each time he expressed delight at how I was being “built up”. Within four months or so I was certainly starting to be overweight, having put on about 35 pounds. My weight continued to climb. A few months later I was officially obese with a BMI in excess of 30. By now I needed no encouragement I simply could not control my appetite and my host and lover could not be happier. I understood now he was sexually attracted to young men, I was still a teenager then, who were obese. The fatter, the more appealing and his sexual advances more persistent. He could not get enough of me. From obese I moved to being morbidly obese and continued to get heavier. I knew this was bad for me but I could no longer help it or stop it. Walking was becoming more of an issue, made no easier with thick diapers which I now needed as I had seemed to have lost control of my bladder. I waddled more than walked and even so my thighs kept rubbing together. I was breathless and I ached most of the time. I also suffered from all the social difficulties and embarrassment which afflicts the very fat. Low esteem comes with the territory.

Some years have passed and I no longer live with my friend but see him very often. Little did I know when I first met him he would control my whole life and dominate it for ever. There would be no escape, no relief. I am bigger than ever now. My BMI is well on its way to 60 and beyond. Try as I might I cannot control my weight, even though I have managed to slow down the rate of increase. My massive intake of Coke has ruined my teeth so I have had them all out and now wear dentures. My friend was delighted at this development as it elevated my blow jobs to a new level.

So that in brief is my story. If you have any questions, please ask.

That is a very sad story .

Do you not have anywhere or anyone you can go to for help to sort yourself out ?

Your friend has actually abused you in a way to feed his needs .

If this story has been written as a cry for help as such I hope that you are able to get the help you need . Only you can say ' NO , I've had enough and walk away .

Nikki

I hope that you cut ties with this person and get yourself into counseling and perhaps a support group such as over eaters anonymous . This is a horrific form of mental abuse which in my opinion became physical as he has harmed your health. The first step I would suggest is seeing a doctor and going from there . Your story is very sad and breaks my heart . It seems that you are asking for help so please don't take offense to our answers. Good luck to you . We are a community that does not judge so know that if we speak we mean it . Anyone can turn their life around but it begins with you and cutting ties with this very abusive and toxic person.

Submissivlee

I wrote about my life long master here on zity. He wanted me to gain weight because he thought I was skinny. I ate fattening foods to please him. I got rid of him and cut ties with him completely. That sounds similar to him. He tried controlling every aspect of my life. I fell for it and got brainwashed. PLEASE CUT TIES WITH HIM.

Thanks for the support and advice. I thought that by moving out to my own flat the relationship would be weakened but it hasn't. I sound pathetic but I feel very dependent on him. I also know that even if he was out of my life, I would continue to have eating and weight problems. Obviously I am quite regularly at the doctor so it's not a question of seeing one. I have respiratory problems and problems with my joints. Everybody tells me that I must take a grip on my life and lose weight. It's easy to say but near impossible, for me impossible, to achieve. When I diet I don't put on weight but I don't seem to lose it.

Again, thanks.

This is indeed abuse. Stop the relationship with him please. I know ( I am a size 26) how hard it is to lose weight and I am not sure if slimming world exists in America but I have found them really helpful as they encourage us to eat but only the right foods. A diet that would not allow me to eat would just not work for me. I have lost a stone now.

I understand the need to be in a submissive relationship but this was an abusive one.

It's horrible!! You've do the right thing to talk about that!! This person must leave your life, he's very toxic for you!!

It is much easier said than done. I am in a prison without walls. I could walk (or rather waddle) out at any time. However, I am very dependent on him. The flat I live in is his. I work for one of his companies. He was instrument in my getting an accountancy qualification. He is my emotional support and my social ife. He has taken me to a variety of consultants to try to tackle my weight. Somehow I always fail. I may lose a few pounds then I undo it with binge eating. Hating myself when I do it and the more so afterwards. If I left I would be without home or job and still have all the eating and weight issues I already have...actually it will probably be worse as I will almost certainly put on more weight.

First of all, I completely agree that this is a very sad story and on so many levels as well. Not only is it sad, but it's a story of abuse, selfishness, humiliation and manipulation. I feel very sorry for you on some levels and not on others. I will explain to you exactly why I made this statement. As you read my following reply, please understand that I am coming to you from both a personal stand point as well as a professional one. What I am going to say isn't meant to hurt you, upset you or anything else, it is meant to ultimately help you, but you will hear simply the truth from my point of view. This is a hot topic for me because it's an issue I really struggle with and always will.

To start with, please understand that I am a nurse and a 45 year old woman who had two c-sections. I am mainly German and am 5'4" with a large frame. I grew up in a house as the youngest of 3 with two older brothers. My father never wanted a girl and I was always considered a second class person in my house. We were very poor. While my father quit his job when I was six and was diagnosed with severe depression. This was 1976, so things were a bit different back then, especially on the psych front. How it worked growing up was that the parents and boys ate first. If there was food left then I got to eat. There wasn't always food left. And it wasn't like my mom could just go make me something else. She wasn't permitted to do so and sometimes there wasn't any food left for her to fix. My father refused to go and get help because it was humiliating and besides that, back in those days if you owned a house, especially in the place I grew up you either had to sell your property or go on welfare. He refused to sell his property, so we really struggled.

While I didn't understand it then, after going to college 3 times and learning about psych stuff which happens to be one of my most favorite things to study, I learned that how I grew up has and did cause me to look at food very differently than most kids, and even still as an adult I do things and think about food very differently than the general public. When I was young I remember being at friends houses and was very excited when it came time to eat. I would hoard food when I could too. As an adult I have to have my cupboards, fridge and freezers full at all times. When I see holes where food is missing it makes me nervous that I am going to run out of food. While I know this is very irrational, growing up the way I did has caused me to think this way. The food in my cupboards is perfectly aligned, all labels are facing out and everything is in like sections. For example, all noodle things are together, all cans of veggies or soup are together. All the cans of corn are in one row, beans in the next and so forth. I do this for several reasons. One is so I know what I have and the other is so that I can open the doors and know exactly what is missing so it can be replaced.

Even though food was short at my house I was a chubby kid a lot of the time. My father made it very clear that he was not happy with my weight almost on a daily basis. My entire family is tall and thin, but I was not blessed with those genes, as I mentioned earlier. I struggled with my weight and have pretty much my entire life, on both sides of the weight coin. I need to stress that I have been too thin on a few occasions as well as obese.

Since I have known Doc, almost 9 years now he has seen my weight go from 114 pounds to 248 pounds and some change, and everything in between. We learn in school that once fat cells are formed they are there and will not go away unless you do something about it like lipo. So whether they are big or small depends on what and how much you eat basically putting it in the most simple terms. Medically speaking this makes perfect sense to me because when a person first gains weight it's at a slower rate usually then when they have lost weight and they regain. Which is also why people who yo-yo diet almost always gain back everything they lost and some more and do so easily and quickly.

For some of us genetics play a factor, as well as things that happen in our lives. Those things can also be physical, mental, or environmental and usually are a combination of the three. As I said, I am German and have a wide frame. To say that genetics are in my favor would not be a true statement, lol. When a woman has c-sections its often difficult to get rid of that c-section pouch. And for many women who gave birth, it's usually difficult or next to impossible to get your prebaby body back. Also, medical science in the past came up with the BMI scale which now they are saying is not at all accurate. There are different body types and frames as well as age, gender, genetics and life happenings that absolutely do play a factor in a person's ideal weight, or the weight that is right for them.

While it is easy to say that all my blood work and my blood pressure and what not are in normal limits, so it doesn't matter how fat I am or someone else is, that is very dangerous thinking. Last summer when I was almost 250 pounds my blood pressure was on average 110/60 and my cholesterol level was a combined of 109, and my pulse was 60. Those are numbers you typically see in athletes or young people in perfect health, not those of a 44 year old morbidly obese woman. Make no mistake though, I was not even close to healthy. So having good numbers and being a few pounds on the heavy side is fine, but regardless of the numbers, morbid obesity is morbid obesity and is not healthy.

I told you that I have struggled on both sides of the fat coin, and I have. Seven years ago when I had my first kidney surgery I lost close to 100 pounds. I was struggling to survive basically. I was eating basically a protein bar and about a half of a thing of vitamin water a day. I was just to nauseated to eat or drink. While I didn't get down to 114 then, I did drop to about 130 at my lowest. I do not feel good at that weight even though according to the BMI index I should weigh between 121-128. When I got down to 114 this year because again of being very sick I could hardly stand, or walk. I had trouble talking and couldn't put two words or thoughts together. As a matter of fact, I still struggle with comprehension and short term memories. I have had to fight tooth and nail over the past 2 months or so to gain back enough weight to feel normal. I am currently about 150 and actually feel better than I have in probably 8 years.

Now, with all that being said, and really I only touched on about 10 percent of my weight struggles, as I mentioned, I am a nurse and medical professional. I have had many bariatric patients over the years. For those of you who are not familiar with the term bariatric it basically means obese. Personally speaking I really struggle with these patients, to the point of anger. Some of this is because I struggle with my own weight issues and looking at them and their conditions is scary for me and a dose of my own potential reality if I am not super careful. Medically speaking they are very hard patients to take care of. The staff required to care for them is overwhelming. It takes special equipment, extra time, lots of it and tons of extra staff as I said. When caring for them we have to always pull staff from other sections, departments, floors even just to give them basic care and unlike normal weighted people that require a few minutes for basic care, bariatric patients take sometimes an hour. So when they require more than basic care you can only imagine the strain everyone feels. Taking care of these patients is also very expensive, thousands upon thousands more than someone of normal size. Also, they put my staff in danger of injury. Bariatric patients in general are very demanding, selfish and rude. They are master manipulators especially when they are no longer able to do for themselves. Most of them in fact are down right cruel to everyone especially those who are either enabling them or trying to take care of them. They don't want to hear the truth and they have an excuse for everything. Most of them are in pain all the time, they are scared on so many levels. I get that both personally and professionally. It doesn't make it any easier to tolerate though.

There is a show on TLC called "My 600 Pound Life". I am a faithful watcher. There is a doctor in Texas who specializes in patients of this size and his name is Dr. Nowzaradan. I consider this man a saint. I personally don't know how he does it. This show frustrates me to no end, but I watch it because I want to do better with these types of patients. Dr. Now is tough when he needs to be and tolerant when needed as well. He professionally speaking knows the perfect balance to help his patients the most. This is a skill I am working on and probably will always have to work on given my own personal struggle with weight. There is a web site in which you can contact him directly and his office will get back to you. He and his staff might be a place for you to start if you really want to fix yourself.

Personally speaking I completely understand where you are coming from so when I tell you the hard truth which is to stop making excuses, remember that I have had to personally do that more times than I can count. I can tell you from a medical stand point that it's actually very very rare for a person to have a medical condition that causes them to be morbidly obese and gain weight that they can't control. I personally have a thyroid condition called Hashimoto's. Having a thyroid condition does effect your weight both gaining and losing as one example that I hear all the time as an excuse for being obese. But guess what, it's just an excuse. I of all people know that I need to put the fork down, step away from the table and go for a walk. On the show I mentioned above, some of those folks are completely immobile and totally dependent on others for everything but they start out simple. Most of them start by just lifting their arms up ten times, or trying to lift their legs up off the bed a few times several times a day. The point is, it's not always about how much or what kinds of food you eat, it's a matter of metabolism and heart rate. Exercise is the key, and as we learn in nursing, "something is better than nothing, just do something". Starting is the hardest part. The first step of any hard journey is always the hardest. Again, trust me.

To say that I have body image issues would be a gross understatement. I have always had them and I will probably always have them. What and how you feel is absolutely justified, and again, I of all people get it and completely understand. Even now when I feel fantastic and I know I look great for a middle aged woman, last weekend when I was naked in front of Doc I struggled with body image issues and told him so. It was very hard for me to lay there naked in front of him. This concept somewhat floored him because to him I look fantastic. I love that he thinks so and that he finds me sexually attractive. But inside no matter how thin I am or how good I feel I will still always be that fat girl. When I look in the mirror I still see that fat girl inside me. This is very common in obese patients especially when they have dropped weight so quickly. Our minds don't have time to adjust to our new size. It happened to me both times I lost so much weight and I have seen it from the patients on the above mentioned show. It's an inner personal struggle that we have to learn to deal with and accept. As with most things in life, we just have to take it one day at a time.

In conclusion Kevvo, I completely hear you and understand you, probably better than most can or ever will. Your weight is YOUR choice, your relationship with yourself and with others is also YOUR choice. Being strong isn't easy. Deciding you and your health, as well as your life are worth something and are important is also YOUR choice. I know you are a very strong man because you had the courage to get up and leave your last relationship even without having the security to do so. That in and of itself is very impressive and not to mom you or anything, but I am proud of you. Leaving took courage and strength most people would never have, but you did. That tells me that somewhere deep down inside you love and respect yourself. I am encouraging you to take that love, that respect, and your strength and courage to start what will be the hardest journey of your life. Your journey to gain back your life, your health, and your future. When I was sick this site was a huge part of the three things that made me chose to live instead of die. The support I was given and the love I was shown absolutely made a difference to me, and it can do the same for you. Please remember that this board will be here for you because that's what we do and who we are, and I personally am here for you as well and you are more than welcome to contact me at any time. I will always be here, I will always listen, and more importantly, I will always understand because I have been in your shoes.

I hope that you have read this with an open mind and an open heart because as I said in the start of this long post, my words are not meant to hurt you, but to help you.

With my deepest respect,

Mashie

Mashie I'm kind of like you except I wasn't starved as a kid, I just didn't want to eat I was really skinny when I was a kid until about 14 and in high school then I started to gain weight. I think my Mom and Brothers had a lot to do with it they would call me fat names and made me want to eat more food and junk food I just loved sweets also so that put more weight on me too. By the time I was 15 yrs old I was wearing my Moms clothes because we were both the same size a 12 which made me hate myself more and of course eat more. I can't how many diets Mom and I went on to lose weight but nothing worked and when finally graduated HighSchool I was even bigger than my Mom a real fatty. My Mom even took me to a diet Dr and all he did was put me on a diet and gave me uppers to lose weight. When I finally hit 219 lbs that is when I finally said enough and started dieting myself I also took up smoking too, I finally started to lose weight and liked what I saw then became bullimic and would take laxitives and also binge and make myself throw it up this went on through my early 20's until Mom noticed and sought help for me I had gotten my weight down to 112 before my Psych DR put an end to it and put me in a hospital for psych. I have since then put weight on and played the yo yo going up and down. Now at 53 I'm down to 135 lbs I'm 5'4 I should weigh at least 125 so I got another 10 lbs to go to be at my right height and weight. 😃 😜

Perhaps I might elaborate on an aspect you merely touched upon, Mashie. Whilst I have no medical qualification, I know from experience that weight-loss requires a combined discipline of diet and exercise. The simple formula is to burn more caolries than one consumes. My late mother was a classic example. She seemed to live on a diet of green salads but never lost weight because she would drive her car to the corner shop and always take lifts instead of walking up stairs. The lack of exercise rendered her stringent diet ineffective.

I, on the other hand, eat whatever I like but don't own a car, meaning that I walk several miles on an average day (in addition to my normal morning exercise of 100 press-ups) and suits made by a tailor who has been dead for twenty years still fit me.

A further thing pointed out to me by a doctor friend (albeit not my own doctor) is that one should limit himself to regular meals at the same time every day. Apparently this enables the body's "memory" to know when to expect nourishment, whereas irregular meal times can make the body store fat because it doesn't know when to anticipate the next feed.

Whilst you rather than I, Mashie, are the medical professional, I think you might agree.

Nick

Nick, I agree with you 100 percent. I thought I stressed the importance of the concept of having to burn more calories than you consume as that is the ONLY way unless by surgical means that someone will lose instead of gain. I am glad that you pointed this out as it's most important.

It doesn't take a medical professional to understand the concept of less in more out, and just because you are not a medical professional doesn't mean you don't know what you are talking about. Even I sometimes sit here and still to this day question things like, "I'm only eating one salad a day, why can't I lose weight?" Well, there are lots of variables to take into account. How much dressing are you using, what is in your salad. If it's loaded with ham, cheese and eggs for example then smothered in ranch dressing that salad could easily have as many calories as a Big Mac and large fry, which I believe is about 3000 calories. That's more than twice as many as a person needs for the entire day. Also something that I didn't even consider which Doc had to point out to me is what I am drinking. While I am in a constant state of dehydration which is why I had kidney issues probably, grrrrr, I used to only drink Coke or Southern Sweet tea which how I make it is 3 cups of sugar in a half gallon. So even though I only drink 20 ounces of fluid a day, with what I drink that's probably another 300=500 calories just in one drink alone. Why Doc had to tell me this and it never crossed my mind is stupid of me, I mean duh. But sometimes you can't see the forest through the trees if you know what I mean?

Kid, I had no idea that you had/have some of the issues I do. I know that we have a lot in common and are somewhat kindred souls. There is a reason I asked you to be my "babysitter" you know, lol.

As my friend, it pains me greatly to hear your story and thank you very much for having the courage to share it with everyone. I have heard a good thousand times that unlike all other addictions, food addiction is the hardest to treat and cure. Unlike all other substances you have to eat to survive. You can't stop eating cold turkey and expect to live. And I am not saying that treating or curing other addictions are easy, they are not, but they are a choice. I am a smoker too and to be honest with you it's one of my most favorite activities. It's the first thing I do when I wake up and the last thing I do before I go to bed. I am an addict, but even still, smoking is a choice, eating is not.

I am also here to tell you that your current weight is just fine. Ten pounds is nothing and the last ten is usually the hardest to lose. At you age, and mine, and at our height, your weight is perfectly fine. I have not seen a picture of you so I don't know what size frame you have but as I said I am 5'4" and feel my best and look my best at about 150. Only you know the weight that is ideal for you and where you feel the best both physically and mentally, so if you feel your best at 125 then I wish you the best and hope you reach your goal. I am just asking you to be honest with yourself on this issue given your medical history. It is one of the hardest questions you will ever ask yourself. Do you really feel your best at 125, or do you need to see those numbers on the scale to mentally accept yourself? There is a huge difference between the two. Personally I loved watching my weight fall off and I honestly loved seeing that scale say 114 because I had not seen numbers like that since the 4th grade. It secretly made me smile inside even though I knew I was dying and starving to death.

I look back on that time and it scares me because I can understand how one could easily, so easily become bulimic or anorexic. After being fat for most of my life I felt inside that I had won the war, I had finally beat the scale which has been my biggest fear and worst enemy. Now that I am well on my way in recovery from my illness I am for the first time able to eat what I cook which I haven't been able to do for almost a year, and I am no longer nauseated and I get hungry. I look forward to eating again, again for the first time in a good year, but with that my food issues are again coming to the surface. I think about food, I crave food, I can't wait to eat sometimes. It's thoughts like these for me that are the most dangerous. It's thoughts like these that caused my weight to reach 248 pounds.

I like so many with weight issues I'm stuck in a prison without walls as the OP said. I have to eat to survive and because I am still recovering if I skip a meal I can easily lose a pound or two a day which will send me back down the sick road again which I'm not willing to do, so I eat. I just constantly have to be very aware of every single thing I put in my mouth which is a full time job in and of itself, and a job I can honestly tell you that I don't enjoy.

Mashie

Mashie, thanks for your long and thoughtful reply and advice. I really appreciate it.

I think for someone who hasn't been morbidly obese, it is difficult to understand someone who is. You have been there.

Anyone my size has multiple experiences of dieting. I start. It is agony. I think about food all the time. I am even more ravenous than I usually am, basically I suffer from gnawing hunger pangs every waking minute. I shed a few pounds but it is painfully slow. Then at some point some event intervenes and my resolve breaks. I stuff myself with food. I know that I am doing the wrong thing but I do it anyway. I know I will have feelings of deep regret but I go on stuffing my face with all my favorite foods and it is thrillingly exciting and fulfilling at the time. Within days I have put on all those lost pounds and a few more so the whole exercise has been a complete waste of time. Worse than that. It has been counter-productive in that I am not going on diet for a long time, if ever, and I am even heavier.

The more I have thought about it since first posting, the more I have thought that I should just accept who I am. I know that obesity does not ellicit sympathy: I am just a greedy slob and should stop eating so much. That I know is how most of the world sees me. Whatever the consequences of my weight, they are entirely of my own making. I am just weak-willed to have got into this position. However, people would not talk to anyone else who had a genetic predisposition or personality that had some unfortunate outcome. If I was prone to uncontrollable bouts of anger or lust, the response may be different. I don't think every doctor one met would say immediately, "I suggest you start losing some of that bad temper of yours". Why I am saying this is because the response that I have generally received is you must escape this. But who and what am I escaping? Surely it is me and that is the only person I cannot flee from. If I had another close relationship, I am sure on my part it would be a submissive one. Perhaps, I should just accept that and make the most of it. Shouldn't I just accept that I am very fat and live with it by making the most of the life I have and the hand I have been dealt? Low self esteem is in my head not anybody else's. There is not a thin man trying to get out. I am the man you see walking into the room, the one who makes you think, "Wow, he's fat!". Yes, I am but perhaps I should not care so much about it. Maybe that is simply prideful. Maybe I am like this so that I learn humility. Perhaps, accepting who I am is the first stepping stone to greater self-confidence and assurance? I don't know.

Kevvo, You are so articulate, I love that about you and appreciate it even more.

I am sure you have heard the saying before that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, or you can love someone else. This is true. So you being okay with you is the first step for sure.

I think self acceptance is important in anything and everything we do no matter who we are, what we do, or what we look like. But we have to be healthy too. If you really love yourself you have to do what's best for you.

I personally don't think that accepting yourself in your current condition is what is healthiest or best for you. Morbid obesity is a condition that is caused by or can be caused by many different things including, but not limited to, mental health issues, medical issues, environment and a few other things. But make no mistake, morbid obesity is a choice, always. I took a medication called Contrave. It is a diet pill that isn't not a stimulant and you don't have to change a thing like your diet or start exercising. Although I would highly recommend exercising. It is a combination medication of Wellbutrin which is an anti-depressant and another drug related to Narcan which we give people who have over dosed on narcotics or street drugs usually. What the second component does is it cuts off the pleasure centers in your brain that ONLY deal with food. While like with all medications it can have side effects, studies show that they are rare. Also that those side effects are simple ones and common with almost all meds. Remember, even Tylenol, Advil and water, yes tap water have side effects. So for people who eat because they are depressed or in my case, I ate because I love food and it makes me happy, this medication works wonders. You may want to look into it. I was on it for 6 months maybe give or take a little and I lost close to 80 pounds. It really does work and it is not a controlled substance and it is not addicting.

You deserve to be both happy and healthy. I wish you luck finding both.

Mashie

Dear Mashie,

Thanks for your concerns and your advice. I appreciate my health is at risk and I must do something about my weight. I just don't know what holds me back. Maybe I am fearful that it will not work out and be counter-productive as diets have been in the past. I will look into the drugs you suggest. I derive a lot of pleasure from food. If the drugs remove the pleaure from eating will it leave a void in my life but still leave me ravenously hungry which is my constant state?

Maybe I explained it wrong. Contrave doesn't make you stop enjoying food. I still love food. It just takes away the need for all the extra food so what I do eat, which is much smaller portions is enough to make me happy. It works, trust me, give it a chance.

Mashie

The drug helps you shrink your stomach so your portions of food are less, like Mashie said. I myself was always over weight even went to a diet Dr. when I was younger now at 53 I am actually getting down to my right weight again. My incentive was I was just fed up with being over weight and didn't want to be called fatty anymore. So I slowly started to shrink my stomach, said good bye to sweets and junk food like potato chips and other junk stopped eating fast food, and I love the results I have gotten since I am now down to my right weight for my height and it doesn't take too much food to fill me up anymore. 😃

First of all. . .KID. . .You are a gorgeous lady, inside and out!!

Anyone, EVER!! calls you names, I will be very, very upset!! Of course, there are lots and lots of reasons why I think you are gorgeous, but we lack space, and time to express all, here. Main reason... Love you dearly, and forever, and ever!!

I have been overweight for some-time, and have a lot against, of avoiding this. I am very limited in a physical way, with arthritis, etc., makes proper exercise a real challenge. Also, since I have a major revisions/difficulties in my digestive system, most foods that are recommended for diets, don't agree with me, well. Just had my annual visit, with my Dr., this last Wednesday, I have lost abt. 50 pounds, within the last 2-years, period. What I have done, to conscientiously lose this, is simply, cut-down, on my daily intake... Since, I tend to have low-blood-sugar spikes, (No, I'm not diabetic, but totally, the opposite) from not eating on-time, I have to be very conscious of a very routine of eating, daily, on a tight schedule. My Dr. is very happy with all that is going on. . .My vitals, are right-on, except it came-up with a slightly low Thyroid. She wants me to test again, in 6-months, as we've had this happen, previously, with it turning out, OK. That's how, I weigh, this subject.

Your story is not that different from mine. I have to submit in all things demanded of me by my Dom and I have absolutely no say in what I eat or, indeed, anything else. I am required, like it or not, to eat what is put in front of me. My Dom from the start began to over feed me and to greatly increase my calorific intake. For the first few months I was given a gainer shake mornings and evenings. What is a "gainer shake" I hear you ask. It is generally cream, a least a pint, but it can be anything calorific like peanut butter, maltodextrin to give you an insulin spike so you take it in, a favouring, if required, and a thinner like milk. These shakes are guaranteed to add pounds to your weight. Like you I found that my appetite started to grow and with it the portion sizes I was given. In fact I started to crave food most of the time. Inevitably what was a thin twenty year old started to put on weight: lots of it. Five years on I am morbidly obese weighing over 400 pounds. This has given my Dom a whole new way of humiliating me. He makes me wear clothes that are too small for me so I burst out of them. My clothes are generally sports clothes: track suits and the like which look completely incongruous on me. As they are polyester or nylon they are noisy when I walk as my thighs rub together and my arms rub against my massive torso. He orders masses for me when we are out and then loudly criticises me for my gluttony. No wonder I am the shape I am. He calls me Fatboy and Lardass most of the time. He enjoys putting me through my paces forcing me to walk upstairs until I perspire all over and lose my breath or squeezing me into the smallest chair or forcing me to struggle to get into the back seat iof a two seater car. He is always telling me to hurry up so I am always struggling to keep up with him which gives him plenty of opportunities to punish me for disobedience.

Your story is not that different from mine. I have to submit in all things demanded of me by my Dom and I have absolutely no say in what I eat or, indeed, anything else. I am required, like it or not, to eat what is put in front of me.

Hi substeve. Unless you are being held prisoner and being physically forced against your will, you are exercising your freedom of choice every time you submit. Being submissive doesn't mean you have "no say...," it means you are submitting your 'say' to another, but it is still your choice.

@substeve This is an abusive relationship. Please see your own worth and realize this isnt worth it.

Please please seek out psychiatric help, even if you remain in this relationship.