Self-hate

@SwitchableSusie said

I don't give a crap if god loves you, Satan loves you, your neighbor loves you or anybody else loves you.

I will sum up what ten WASTED years of psychotherapy will teach you:

Nulle bastardo carborundum.

Fuck everyone else. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Do what makes you happy.

What other people think does not matter.

Be your own best friend.

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@SwitchableSusie said (taken out of context by @Southern_Sass)

Satan loves you, your neighbor loves you or anybody else loves you.

@Southern_Sass said

With all due respect that is a lie. God does love everyone, satan doesn’t love anyone. He hates everyone, even those who follow him, he hates. God created us all and satan hates all of God’s creation because he hates God.

I struggled with self hate for years and still do. A counselor may be a good idea to talk about your past and find healing from it. I am ashamed of my fetishes too and keep them hidden because of that. Thank God for Zity!

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I would not have posted again here except that you took what I said out of context and misquoted me.

You said "god does love everyone." It sounds like a really rotten god to love murderers, rapists, kidnappers, child abusers and thieves among other worthless human garbage (I would have said worthless human shit, but people don't like that, but that's what they are) who commits evil acts on the innocent.

You want to not hate yourself??? DON'T HATE YOURSELF. It's that simple. Nobody or no thing will enable you to do that. You have to do it yourself.

[...] Over the years, I've learned that I need to be happy with the way I am and not really give a shit about what anyone else thinks. I told my sister about how I liked guys. She lied. Said she understood. Then she quit having anything to do with me and wouldn't let my nephews visit me. [...] Enjoy your life while you are here, because before you know it, you'll be gone.............

Big thanks, soggy. (Your last comment is true enough! May I ask: how are you preparing for a lonely old age? It's an increasingly common condition these days, for many reasons. Note that there are books and DVDs on loneliness. One book, a few decades old now, is called 'Solitude', by Anthony Storr. But obviously search for one that suits you. Plus your own 'solutions', of course.)

Like the original poster to this thread, your family was of no help. It's somewhat understandable in your sister's case, given that she has kids. But don't let her callousness to you rankle - follow your own advice to not care a shit! Meanwhile, find something that can grow old with you. A special interest perhaps - there's much pleasure in being a specialist! And seek out congenial company. Also, a lot of people have wonderful animal-companions. I'm serious about that! 😃

- Ken

. . . . Just remember this: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. . . .

It DOES make the problems go away and for some that's all that matters. People "saving" others from themselves is NOT always such a kind thing to do.

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. . . . to let go, we must forgive. . . .

NO, if it is important to you, you only have to forget. Why would anyone ever forgive a scumbag?

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. . . . Therapists in general are not a cure all, many just push pills, have disorders of their own or at the very least are ill-disposed to deal with even basic issues of sexual orientation and paraphilia. . . .

I completely agree.

Be your own best friend.

The cynic has spoken.

I wont go into what I went through as a child , But what worked for me was a small sail boat far out to sea I learned that I didn't want to die and that I was the only one I could depend on AND I had better be my own best friend . How big was the sail boat ? El Toro , 7 feet 11 inches . . How far out ? at least 30 miles from Santa Cruse . I have never been that scared before or since .

Hi all,

A bit weird to be replying on this thread 4 years after it started, but I'd like to make a small addition to the recent comments on it.

It DOES make the problems go away and for some that's all that matters. People "saving" others from themselves is NOT always such a kind thing to do.

I agree with @SwitchableSusie on this, but I'd like to add something that may be of help for anyone suicidal reading it.

If you have a broken leg, there is a quick fix. If you are depressed, you hurt all the same. And the fix takes long and seems non-existent, and Suzie's statement might seem to apply fully to you.

First of all, I know what I'm talking about. Mental problems can HURT. I suffered from a major depression disorder in the past and at some point I was chillingly close to killing myself. Somehow I barely managed to choose to continue living, in great pain, not feeling a reason why - and I had to make that decision every subsequent morning for two years after. Getting help didn't work out (damn shrinkologists and governments), and eventually I got through on my own. Hopefully it will stay this way for a while to come, and there are signs that it will, because I've learnt ways to catch the depression before it becomes overwhelming.

My point is, your whole mind and body may be screaming for the pain to stop; and for a few people it may be the best solution to kill themselves - yet everything in life is subject to constant change (including your own brain), so things change for the better too. For me, it turned out to be worthwhile to hang in there. Had it not been worthwile I could have killed myself after any number of years of trying. So how do you know when to quit? Please lean toward living longer.

I see that the OP has not been on this site for 4 years, so i doubt he'll read this. My only hope is that he found a way to make his situation better, and that he is in a better place to be able to cope.

He was looking for advice/suggestion on being able to deal with his self-hate, so I'll speak on that (though i can see that I did so 4 years ago). Because the topic here is self-hate, and that maybe the OP will come back and read this, or for anyone else who has issues around self-hate.

The 1st step should be trying to convert to self love. To love one's self. Putting yourself in a place where you look forward to waking up in the morning because you know you will do and experience things that you will enjoy. What you will eat & drink, where you will go, and what activities. Kind of like pretending to be on a date with yourself, and asking your date what he wants to do to please him. You start doing things to please yourself, and reflect on it after a period. See if you don't see progress. This is just a basic overview to give you the idea.

The 2nd step is tackling the shame. You're only doing something wrong if it's either illegal, you're causing harm to someone else or yourself, or you have a hate that causes you to be prejudice and discriminate. That's it. Those are the only times one should ever feel shame. Whatever people have said & done to you or about you is more about them. THEY are the ones who should feel shame. You should not feel shame because you feel you have brought this on.

Why feel shame about your sexuality? During a sex act, are you pleasing the other person or harming another person? If you are making someone else happy during a sex act, what is the shame in that? Now, if you're harming another person in a sex act, that goes back to what I said above about feeling shame in terms of it being illegal (rape) or harming another person. So then you should do what? Avoid that behavior.

Why feel shame about homosexuality? Because certain religions, certain circles condemn it? Choose other circles. Find other circles that don't, where it IS acceptable. Look at the progress society has made over the years towards acceptance and tolerance. That should indicate it's something to feel less and less shameful about. [Since this post is about dealing with shame and not religion, you can PM me on my interpretation of God's actual stance]

You don't have to hate yourself for who you are. The greatest courage is to accept yourself as you are. Courage is to cope with all the shit that has fallen on you, an ordinary person. But are you ordinary after everything that happened to you? I admire your fortitude. You only deserve love.

Those who called you "fagot" are deprived of intelligence. It has been scientifically proven that homophobia is the clearest sign of low intellect. Find YOUR people, those who will respect you and who will treat you with respect and care. I know loving yourself is hard. It is very difficult to put yourself together being daily in parts to fall apart again one day. But who if not you?

I believe in you.

I love you.

You deserve to be happy, dear.

I love fagots. They're great.

Demonic filth , little whore Those were from my Mom and usualy came with a beating. An open hatred of everything Cristian from a very young age started that . Being a bit stupid I just accepted this as normal and thought maybe I am a Demonic little whore and just went with it screwing and sucking on anything that came my way which was a lot of things resulting in a rather nasty meeting with a bottle of bleach and my reproductive junk. Surviving this at 12 I ended up in a Private school were I discovered my feelings for other girls were returned by other demonic little whores and had a realy great time finaly ending up maried to my Master and having a girl friend. I have additional afairs with cunts and cocks for fun.I do not hide it . I just like sex a lot and enjoy variety. You cant beat or have beaten out what you are out so just accept it. Living is easier that way and a lot more fun. Demonic Little whore. It realy does work for me.

Fucking Dike !! I have heard it slung at me more than once even had a slushie througn at me and my Girl friend once . She cried I got mad . I just held on to her and kissed her again as the brute vented his insecurities at us. Lots of phones were out recording the event for posterity. He left without giving me the opertunity to beat the life out of him. If you are going to be diffrent for sure ignorant people are going to object probably because you are doing something they want to do and are afraid to do. Just keep doing it . Eventualy they give up and leave you a lone.

I am who I am . Deal with it. ! Then I go hide and sulk because you hurt my fealings. It is all very confusing. For both of us. Thank the Gods he My Husband knows how to deal with me. Some times I dont.

The miror. I look in it I see I am to short my boobs are to small my ass is flat I look yuch! I want to cut myself! The scars are there under my arms from the many times I used to do it. Eventualy I ended up in psychiatric care for it. I now think of all the good things instead and put the Dagar down. I choose not to mutalate it todday. Thier is nothing I can do about what is in the miror. I am stuck inside it with it. It seems to attract enouf admiration and desire. I will leave be for now. Think I will work on a model or go for a drive instead and hang out with someone. It feels like a Lolita sort of day.

@Bad_Princess Glad to hear you stopped cutting. I had a young friend who did it many years ago, and I know it is as addictive as alcohol or drugs. Good for you!! Sounds like you got a keeper in your hubby!

@Bad_Princess love yourself for who you are because that is what makes you special. Boobs, ass they are just trappings, for others. in reality they are not real. A facade. Be yourself. Enjoy yourself. Live, love, perhaps to laugh…

love yourself for who you are because that is what makes you special. Boobs, ass they are just trappings, for others. in reality they are not real. A facade. Be yourself. Enjoy yourself. Live, love, perhaps to laugh…

Being a girl is rather compedative when it comes to body image and other things. In my circles the right look is important. As a Lolita I have it made to measure. Stacking up to real built girls not so much. I make the diffrence by working out to be flexable and doing weights to be powerful. I have that Viking Warior woman thing going for me as well. It brings some confedence to me to make my mucles riple under my skin in the miror.

I make the diffrence by working out to be flexable and doing weights to be powerful. I have that Viking Warior woman thing going for me as well. It brings some confedence to me to make my mucles riple under my skin in the miror.

Would love to see some muscle posing pictures @Bad_Princess. Nothing hotter than an in shape woman - esp a kinky one!!! 😄