Importance of humiliation

This topic seems to have been touched on in numerous threads, so I was not sure where to post. If the moderators feel that it should be elsewhere, please feel free to move it

I am beginning to wonder if it's the humiliation factor that is one of the stronger drivers in diaper desires. Is it what really turns us on about being seen in a diaper, or is it really just the love of how diapers look and feel, with humiliation just being an extra rush? I'm really not sure, so feel free to comment.

I think you might be right. I have to wear nappies as I am incontinent and used to be paranoid about being noticed. Now I wear them so they are more noticeable. I don't know why but I like people knowing I have to wear nappies.

Yes I think you're absolutely right. It's probably the most dominant driver of all.

Though, the thing I love about having a diaper fetish is that it works on so many levels.

There's the humiliation part. Then there's the "animalistic" part (you love the smells, you love the way it feels). Then there's the "role play" part and the "I'm doing something BAD and I love it" part ("I'm 59 but I'm dressed as and acting like a naughty diaper-wearing toddler!") And the "helplessness / dominance" part, for anybody who is lucky enough to have someone else diaper them. And the plain old fetish part (being attracted to the diapers / plastic pants / sissy clothes / bottles / pacifiers / etc for just being what they are).

But most all of "the roads" lead back to humiliation. The idea that we love something that's taboo because only little kids do it, that we should have grown up and given this up when we were three but we still do it and love it, and that we secretly wish that everybody in the world knew.

For me, most all of the other aspects still lead back to the humiliation aspect. I love sissy clothes not only because they help me regress, but because of the excitement of thinking of the reactions others would have if they only knew. Same thing with all of the other "baby" items. And that's part of why I love my diaper pail. Is there anything more humiliating than the notion of you being caught in your diapers and then having that person discover your diaper pail, seeing just how many diapers you've used, seeing and smelling what a big toddler you are, and then laughing at you?

Anyway, yes, bingo. You're spot on with that observation!

Since I play alone, humiliation is not a huge factor in reality, but there is always the possibility of intrusion. In fantasy, however, imagining being scolded, spanked, exposed, changed by someone else, especially if they complain about how putrid the smells are etc. is a real turn on, and that thought is always on my mind as I begin to fill the diaper. I also use various methods to make that moment inevitable - castor oil is my favorite if I have the luxury of a longer time span, but glycerin suppositories, or the increasingly famous "solution for an uncontrollable urge" are excellent short-term guarantees of that terrible/delicious moment where control is impossible, and clenching turns to an all-out push (pun intended). That total loss of control has an element of humiliation even if no one else is there!

The below excerpts from Mistress Morgana pretty much describes my thoughts and feelings about diapers and humiliation to a T.

"Many submissives experience a loss of control, erotic embarrassment and vulnerability through diapering that is unparalleled by any other sort of play. There is great symbolic significance in the image of a strong woman leaning over you, with a bright shiny diaper pin held between her teeth as she fastens you into an apparatus that deprives you of your maturity, your agency, your self-determination."

"For those who wish to remain in their adult selves, diapering offers a devastatingly kinky variety of play options. Consider the erotic embarrassment of the "incontinent" boyfriend or spouse made to endure the embarrassment of diapering, the water sports enthusiast, or the sensationalist who loves the look and snug feel of layered plastic pants. Diaper dominance is powerful because it is taboo: It is an activity clearly shameful in adults, and for this reason it can be a source of deeply erotic kinky play."

Me wearing my diapers: I get them out. I rub Baby Magic lotion all over me. I get out my diapers (always a thick flannel contour on the inside, a thick flannel prefold-folded lengthwise into thirds to use a soaker in the middle, a thin contour on the outside for pinning them in place). I spread them out on the bed. I stick in the pins. I lay down on top of them. I curse a few times and usually end up sticking my thumb with a diaper pin while pinning them on. I wear them. I wet them a while. I go get myself off in them.

My wife making me wear my diapers: Just her mere presence and participation is wonderfully humiliating. SHE says "You need to be in your diapers! Go pick out the ones you want to wear!" (I have different ones but all are basically the same combination mentioned above). If I don't do it first, SHE picks out the plastic pants. SHE tells me to raise up like a good baby, shoves the diapers under my butt, and rubs baby magic lotion all over me. SHE pins them on. SHE says "Lift up your legs" and puts on my plastic pants. I wear them / wet them while with her, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and my diapers. She rubs them, keeps asking me about them and always says the word "DIAPERS" when she does. When they're soaked then SHE tells me to go upstairs and either changes them, gets me off in them, or sometimes has diaper sex with me--all while telling me what a big, bad, diaper wearing, diaper wetting, diaper pooping baby I am.

Now, YOU tell me which one is better? :-)

I am UIC so wearing a super is a necessity, however living in a FLR, my wife likes the control she has with humiliating me with diapers. Making comments, like at the pharmacy check out line she will ask in a loud voice if I need any baby powder or diapers. She also sends me to answer the door wearing my diaper and plastic pants with just a tee shirt on. Most times when we go out she will double diaper me and pick the loudest plastic pants (usually Peva) and make me wear them. There is no question when I walk what I am wearing. The humiliation is a big part of our FLR.

I love to be teased in my diapers and humilated for wetting and made ot wear outside

I am just about to go in to town wearing a thick nappy and noisy plastic pants, what's more I have just wet my nappy. I wonder if anyone will even notice I am wearing one.

I always list humiliation as one of the appeals of wearing diapers along with the physical sensation of the diaper material against sensitive skin and the giving up of such a fundamental control. In any interaction involving diapers I enjoy gentle teasing and constant reminders of my diapered status.

I think the biggest humiliation started when I started having accidents told my wife who then was very much for me going back diapers and pads on the bed.She would call me [her] little whimp the big thing was I'am the only one in the house wearing diapers.

There is nothing better than humiliation except maybe getting spanked which is humiliating.

I love wearing my nappies and baby pants. But when my wife tells me she is going to spank me and put me back in nappies it is very humiliating but I like it. I also go out wearing a nappy and baby pants the fear of being discovered is humiliating

This is a great question. I really like the questions that shed some light on the mystery of the abdl phenomenon. After considering this I have to say that I too am drawn to the humiliation aspect of diapers. While the primary draw are the diapers themselves, I find that there is a very powerful undertone of desiring them with a healthy dose of humiliation. Interestingly I have no desire for this to happen in a real life situation. Only in the privacy of a secluded space with no possible exposure to the public. What little experience I've had with real life situations have been very emotional and not in a good way... I usually look back on them and smile a bit though???

Thinking about it I find that I desire to be overwhelmed by an authority that is totally insurmountable. Forced comes to mind, in a manner that is slightly exceeds the edge of my comfort zone. I think that I'd like to be dominated. Not destroyed I also find that I desire my superior to be an individual that finds joy in making me submit to my infantile state. Not someone that finds me repulsive. That's a total no go for me. You've been a very BAD little boy....now you're going to pay.....

I'm retired now from a long, successful professional career, was an active member in our local community, chaired several non profits, married twice, raised three children and in general was respected in my profession and community. I tell you this not to boast, but to confess that I also secretly wore diapers and rubber pants whenever I could and loved to wet and mess my diapers and enjoy sexual pleasures under my diapers. I kept it secret as much as I could and as long as no one knew, I never felt humiliated or shamed or embarrassed, but the thought of someone finding out always gave me the shivers. Why, because I knew most people would find me disgusting, would reject me or otherwise cause harm to my personal and professional life. Despite this fear, intense at times, I continued to pin my diapers on, continued to play with myself, even go to bars and clubs where girls danced naked or partially clothed just so I could get off wearing diapers. But eventually it was not enough. I felt compelled to share this side of me with someone and even the thought of a girl finding out I had diapers on, or seeing me wearing diapers got me so aroused anticipating the humiliation I was sure I'd feel when that time came. So I started gradually, meeting a girl at a bar who gave me a lap dance. I had diapers and rubber pants on, I was wet, and while grinding on me, she felt my crotch, asked what I was wearing and I told her I had a diaper on. She said "Oh you poor boy, I'm so sorry." But i told her, its not like that, "I like to wear diapers and I like to potty in them." At that moment I felt about so small, so naughty, so immature. I wanted her to scold me, I had so humiliated myself in front of this nice girl. My arousal was so intense, so strong, so exciting I needed to experience it again. Soon I went to massage parlors, told the girls I had diapers and rubber pants on and would like a massage. So embarrassing, so humiliating just to say the words out loud to this cute woman, but then she said OK, took me back and told me to undress. So humiliating to have her see me, a grown man, standing in front of her in just my wet diapers and rubber pants. She told me to lay down and asked if I wanted her to change me. This more than I could ever hope for, I said Yes, I need my diapers changed". I felt even smaller but at the same time so hard when she unpinned my diapers and my dick stood at attention. I continued doing this for several years, and the more I did it he more I liked it. Humiliating myself and getting so sexually aroused at the same time compelled me to do it over and over until I met my wife to be who understood what it meant to me and has been my chief enabler since.

I'm fairly certain that the humiliation and realization that at almost seven I was diapered with cloth diapers and plastic pants had the effect of somehow making me interested in diapers and plastic pants as I got older. The first time I was seen diapered I was in a public restroom. We were living in a trailer for a couple of months and I had gone to the restroom in hopes of not wetting my diapers during the night. I thought I was alone, but I heard voices approaching and a father brought his son in to use the restroom before going to bed. His son was probably two and a half, and was wearing diapers and plastic pants. That was natural enough at his age, but I was much taller than him and I had been diapered with three cloth diapers and snap on plastic pants. His father helped him with his diapers and after he was done, they headed back to their trailer. I had kind of frozen when they came in and was just standing there. The father paused at the exit and asked me "do you need any help?" to which I said quietly "no". I finished up (or at least I thought I had) and went back to our trailer, totally embarrassed that someone had seen me wearing diapers. This was only the first of three other humiliations that I would suffer before I was nine. Although I'm certain there is one, I have never been able to make the connection between the humiliation and why that would translate into an affinity later on for diapers and plastic pants. I'm not sure anyone has the specific psychological answer, or at least any that I've heard of to date.

Great question and sure makes me think. Being in diapers as a kid wasn't bad all the time. Wearing them to bed was a normal routine and wasn't really a big deal. The humiliation part was when we were in places where there were babies or toddlers in diapers. Sometimes I'd be grouped in with them because I was in diapers...if a baby needed a diaper change, mine would get checked, etc.

When I got older and started to 'dry up', I missed the comfort of diapers at night. Felt like going to bed naked. That had a real draw for me to find substitutes for diapers. I can't say, at the time, that I missed the humiliation. But these days I look back at those humiliating moments with a fascination.

As an adult, I've had some humiliating moments. People walking into my house without knocking when I was only in a t-shirt and diapers (I was just out of the hospital and really needed them). Or people making a joke when they noticed I was wearing.

Standing next to your mother after she dressed you in diapers and plastic pants is as about as humiliating as it gets. I felt her control over me and I was ashamed that I had no control of my self like boys my age.

Shame embarasment and humiliation really don’t exist in my world . I am complexly fine with needing and using diapers , I don’t really care if a strange nurse checks me or changes me ,sees my “privates” . Nothing about diaper using comes even close to moving the needle . When you require somebody to care for you , you don’t care as long as somebody does it . Maybe staying in diapers as an older child might be a mind fuck , but it’s all on the wheel all that ass your mom wiped , eventual you both grow until your parent is sick or elderly then it’s the dutiful sons job to do it for mom or dad ,that’s the love parents should share and receive.

Since around 4-5, I got called diaper boy, crinkles butt, Huggies boy, etc.i get turnted on wearing obvious diapers and hearing people tease me.iam at an incredible moment in life where my diapers are entirely too precious to give up only because someone teased me.

I get endless pleasure wearing ultra super thick tight snug clean dry diapers, very obvious and nicely heard.i like to invite comments but it doesn't happen very often.i never am without diapers, even when buying diapers,I have them on, it's interesting to see people glare at me as I purchase diapers and enjoying them too.i do a lot of buying at thrift stores, including the Goodwill store I work at.it can be exciting when my coworkers notice me getting diapers.ive often wondered if they can tell I am in a diaper too

So, yes I do enjoy diaper attention and watching people, especially when I crinkle it's fun to look when I get heard

I feel like I'm alone with this, but I love diapers, being diapered, forced to use diapers, but humiliation is downright scary. I love that my girlfriend is so caring and accepting, her humiliating me would make me scared and immediately closed up, I just can't bring myself into a mindset were I would find that enjoyable.

For me, diapers offer a constant input to my sensory system. Diaper relentlessly keeps in the forefront of my mind submissiveness, along with making it hard to focus/keeps brain a bit off kilter. I don’t get to make decisions. I don’t have the privilege of using a potty. I’m coated in desitin, keeping a weird/slightly uncomfortable sensation always present. My vaginal lips are spread just a bit and diaper pulled up against my clitoris before tabs secured, causing diaper to constantly, ever so lightly rub my clitoris. The elastic around the legs rubs against my skin anytime I move. Hearing the plastic crinkle, someone patting my bottom or constantly palming my bottom or big girl parts, fingers sliding inside leg elastic to check if I’m wet, pulling back diaper just a bit to peek inside….

Eddy J your question about humiliation and the use of diapers opens up many thoughts I myself have had. My fetish fest friends love the humiliation associated with the use of diapers. Is it the diapers or is it the humiliation associated with being in diapers? My diapers are not optional so I think for me it is the humiliation.

My friends and close associates are aware of this and often treat me to a little diaper humiliation.

What little experience I've had with real life situations have been very emotional and not in a good way... I usually look back on them and smile a bit though???

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I have read through this thread multiple times now and couldn't figure out why i kept coming back to it and it clicked today. I started out with diaper time in my private time alone and currently don't involve anyone with my diaper time but there was a time where i did and thinking back there were times where the humiliation factor did come into play and when it did i wanted more. The ones that stick out in my mind were the following...

My X-wife multiple times sent me into busy pharmacy's such as CVS, walgreens, riteaid ect to buy supplies. We would walk in separately and i would have my list which normally consisted of store brand diapers, chux pads, and sometimes either enemas or suppositories. I would check out and she would wait for any looks i got from the check out attendants. I honestly only remember one time getting some really bad looks from the gentleman checking me out as she watched and laughed. i felt the humiliation factor big time just that one time because of the attendant.

I have changed my diapers 100's of times in public restrooms but i tend to hide my clean diaper under my coat in the winter or stick it in my waist band under my t-shirt in the summer for a little privacy. There was one time i remember my x-wife told me to go into Walgreens and get my "supplies" and i came out and she asked if i changed int he store bathroom i said no i was too embarrassed. Then she started driving and in the same strip mall was an Ihop restaurant which was very busy because it was lunch time and she said go get changed! When i went to get out of the car she said just carry the diaper in do not hide it! So i did as i was told, the restrooms were at the front of the restaurant by the desk where your waitress greets you to get seated, I walked in and the waiting room was packed so didn't look up and just went into the restroom, it was when i came out the waitress at the desk gave me this look of disgust and the humiliation factor set in......

The other times were times like if we got home from being out and about she would say i have to pee and i would say i do too and she would say you have a diaper on so use it! There were times in public where we would be at a park or shopping or just out and about and she would say i have to pee and when i would follow her she would say you have a diaper on use it! I never honestly ever knew if anyone heard her but just the thought that someone did hear her i did not want to see the reactions so i would always just keep my head down and do what was instructed. This was to make sure i knew my place and it brought the humiliation factor again...

Then on car trips she always drove and instead of diaper checks she would ask if i peed yet and if i said no because sometimes it was hard to let go in the car, we would head into a gas station or store together and she would hit the restroom and instruct me i was wearing my restroom and that it better bulging out by the time she returned from the restroom which was fine until i leaked one day down the back of my jeans and they were dry when i went in and wet when i walked out again i have no idea if i was spotted i paid for my things and walked out with my head down because the humiliation factor was off the charts for me...

These situations were emotional for me as well and to be honest i look back on them and do miss the humiliation, public play, and the power she had over me. I look back now and smile and actually miss some of those adventures. I doubt i'll ever get to share adventures like that ever again in my life with anyone but when i look back it really gets me going when i think about those times.......