Psychology corner | Asexual orientation and medfe…

Views: 1188 Created: 2016.04.25

First post

Does anyone else out there identify with the asexuality spectrum? I've had strong medfet desires since childhood, but much less interest in sex. I can remember very well being in the early years of puberty and having fantasies about examining one of the girls in my class, or letting her examine me. I thought these fantasies were bizarre and shameful. Meanwhile, I had no girlfriends and zero intimate experience until my college years.

Once I reached my twenties, I did have some sexual relationships with women, but perhaps more because I thought I was "supposed to." I am not repulsed by the idea of sex, but I just don't enjoy it that much. The unclothed intimacy of a play medical exam is far more attractive to me. But medfet is ruined for me if it's just a prelude to sex.

Sound familiar to anyone?

kenneth177

Tnx. [...] I think I do have a very wide and all-encompassing definition of what sex is.

Tnx back to you, agracier. Anyone with a wide, all-encompassing outlook wins my knee-jerk approval - at the very least!

(You always had my respect!)

- Ken

kenneth177

There was an interesting article in the 'Guardian' recently. The article was called "Bedroom confidential: what sex therapists hear from the couch", and the author was Elle Hunt:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/apr/18/bedrooms-confidential-what-sex-therapists-hear-from-couch

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage has noticed some big changes in the questions asked him since he started out in 1991. Nowadays: 'I think it's got through to people that, when it come to human sexuality, variance is the norm.'

Especially pertinent to the present thread, though, may be something reported by Cate Mackenzie, a dating coach and sex therapist with 20 years' experience. There is increasing recognition of 'sexual privilege': the difference between people who 'can just meet people', and those who, for a range of reasons, might reach their 30s or 40s never having had sex. The article reports that Cate teaches clients how to flirt and relax into a conversation.

There's much more in the article.

- Ken

kenneth177

There was an interesting article in the 'Guardian' recently. The article was called "Bedroom confidential: what sex therapists hear from the couch", and the author was Elle Hunt:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/apr/18/bedrooms-confidential-what-sex-therapists-hear-from-couch
Sex advice columnist Dan Savage has noticed some big changes in the questions asked him since he started out in 1991. Nowadays: 'I think it's got through to people that, when it come to human sexuality, variance is the norm.'
Especially pertinent to the present thread, though, may be something reported by Cate Mackenzie [...]

The above was the heartening stuff. In fact, not all the informants in that article were so upbeat. Another paragraph reports how, for all the talk of lifting stigmas, therapists agree that for many people - even the majority - sex remains a taboo. Kate Moyle, a therapist in London, points out that society is still heteronormative and kinks are not openly discussed.

Even at the individual level, Caroline Lovett, a nurse working in sexual health, says that conversations today are no more frank or open than they were when she started working in the 1980s. And another therapist, Denise Knowles, observes: 'A bit of me is still surprised by people's ignorance around their own bodies and their partner's.'

The article concludes: 'More pragmatic, robust sexual education is sorely needed.'

Aren't you glad that you joined Zity?!

- Ken

Dear

I'm totally with you, I have a strong interest in medfet auscultation (principally with my boyfriend) but not a strong interest in sex, you're post really interesting and it's cool to meet peeps like you here, feels less lonely

mello1

I have wondered the same things for me. I have had medical fetish desires my whole life. I have had sex before never was all that into it. I do masturbate though. Im not sure if that makes me an ace or not.

Aardvark

I came to the conclusion I was asexual (ACE) back in 2013. I have medfet's and masturbate but never really felt any desire for physical intimacy. I do find women attractive and learned that I basically experience heteroromantic attraction, which is a secondary attraction trait besides sexual attraction, that humans (and some animals) experience.

agracier

I came to the conclusion I was asexual (ACE) back in 2013. I have medfet's and masturbate but never really felt any desire for physical intimacy.

If you masturbate, that means you are not asexual. If you enjoy medfet fantasies or whatever, then you are not asexual.

You may be unusual in your sexual desires in not wanting physical intimacy. But you still experience and practice sexual activities.

People can be as sexual as can be while still being solitary without any desire for a partner.

Ekgdude

My medical fetishes are separate from sexual experiences. I am sexually turned on by medical procedures and do not wish to have sex with the medical staff. I like the idea of having sex experiments done by doctors with machines and procedures, but not sex with doctors. My gay attraction to men is separate from my medical fetishes. I like both, but seperately.