Diaper Lover and Incontinent

Hi all, This is an extension of the earlier post I made. I'm having a bit of an issue with what I'm thinking is incontinence. A recent trip left me with dangerously wet underwear several times, the demands of vacationing with younger people that see no need for a potty break placed demands that I couldn't quite handle. Also, the plane trip was a disaster, thankfully I was wearing a training pant type of underwear and plastic pants. I finally figured the hell with it, If TSA wants to see my undies then go ahead have a look.

Here's the problem. What I'm experiencing is an urge problem. I'm fine and then all of a sudden I have to go. BAD ! I can hold it 99% of the time but there's a breaking point where the urge does overcome my ability to hold it. This all happens within about 15 minutes. If a rest room were convenient there'd be no problem, just sometimes I'm out of luck, that's when the hell starts. On the plane I ended up wetting a bit, not a flood, but enough that it would have left a wet spot in my pants. Thank God for my "special" undies, other times I wet just enough that at any moment I'd thought I'd have to spill a drink to cover the evidence. Takes all the fun out of a vacation always worrying about it.

Why I posted here is that being a DL there's naturally a large part of me that finds this situation really exciting. Geeze, why does it have to be a thrill. I have a loving SO that's cool with the whole diaper thing, WAY too cool. So she isn't as concerned as somebody that's totally repulsed by the DL thing. She's fine with me wearing 24/7 if I'd like (or need), the problem is I've read too many times here where some one wants to be incontinent and wants to see a urologist for somewhat less than a genuine need. I'm torn on whether I really need to see a doctor or if this is some kind of unconscious fantasy kind of thing.

Yes I think there's an issue. Is it bad enough to see a doctor? I really don't know. Added to this is a total mistrust of the medical field. Also a total fear of outrage should they decide I'm some kind of a perv. I wear for fun a LOT as I'm now retired and this allows me too. Am I just getting lazy in the bladder? Would that put me in the "perv" category? The flipside of this is what if there really is a problem ? Sure there are horror stories where bad things are found with doctor visits but I suspect they are rare. Do I go see the doctor ? or do I pack it in and write it off as a fetish issue.

One more thing. If I do go, do I come clean about my DL pastimes ? I really don't want to start something that turns ugly due to something that should have been mentioned up front. Telling them this would be utterly humiliating for me but possibly very prudent. I actually wish I didn't have the whole DL thing, then this would all be a non issue. Please,any thoughts on this would be GREATLY appreciated. I'm just so confused by the whole thing.

I think you are lucky that you can hold for 15 minutes. When my incontinence problems started it was like I need the toilet and I need it now and within a few minutes I was wetting my self uncontrollably. Gradually the feeling of needing to go diminished too. From what you say I think you will find you have a slightly enlarged prostate. Get it checked out and tell them of your incontinence worries but don't mention anything about being DL or they won't take you seriously.

Seeing a doctor about incontinence isn't a big deal. They have seen it all before.

All of this sounds very familiar. I have the same sudden urge and eventual inability to hold. I've also experienced the embarrassing leakage. I've spoken to my urologist about this and they recommended protective shields or a disposable pull up for things like plane rides, long car rides etc. I tried a pull up at home one day and found it or be totally useless. That experience and some research led to the decision that I am actually better off with a full disposable diaper and plastic pants. For me, dealing with incontinence had no in between.

I found that I really like the diaper and wear one as needed. Two differences though, I'm not retired (10 yrs away) and my SO is not accepting of this type of thing, also I wouldn't tell my dr about being a DL either. I too have DL mixed in with this but I'm afraid my dr would send me for counselling and not take the urination problems seriously

Thanks all for your replies, I really appreciate them. I actually felt it would be best not to mention my DL feelings. I threw that out mainly to see if my thoughts on not mentioning it were off base. It seems we all agree it would be. My daytime problems do suggest prostate issues. Oddly there are days where I have no problems and can go for hours without needing to pee. Then all of a sudden out of the blue this whole incontinence issue comes on.

There are times I can't hold even five minutes but thats fairly rare. It seems heavy exercise actually helps relieve the symptoms, but not all the time. Another strange thing is if the need to go hits and I can overcome it there is the possibility that I won't need to go for hours. Not very often though. Another strange thing is the weak stream problem, It occurs probably 80% of the time but then there's times I could pee over a tall building (heehee). This whole problem is just so mixed up.

Also to complicate the whole issue is night time problems. Fifteen years ago I had a nervous breakdown. The event put me in the hospital for weeks. When I got out I was put on virtually every antidepressant on the market, some of the doses were overwhelming. During this period I suffered from just about every side effect, from uncontrollable bladder and bowel incontinence to vomiting without any warning. I lived in the zombie zone for weeks at a time. The whole thing was hell. I wore diapers daily and at night & I awoke wet nearly every morning.

Nightmares prevented sleep and I was prescribed sleeping pills. This just made the wetting worse. It was around this time that the urge incontinence started. Getting up eight or ten times a night to pee was really wearing me down, plus I was disturbing my wifes sleep. I rationalized that it was just easier to use my diaper and eliminate the whole issue. Just wet the little bit that was causing the need and go back to sleep. On top of this all, there has always been days that I wake up and never noticed wetting that night.

This happens about once or twice a month. After years of living this it has become second nature and the guilt has gone away. I can still stay dry at night but the there is a heavy toll as I don't sleep well. A week of this when I was on vacation wiped me out. Getting home and diapered was a blessed relief as I got the first good sleep in a week. I do wonder if my night time activities are helping create my daytime problems. Well, please comment I really need some input, thanks Metoo

Again, much of this sounds familiar to me. I too am on anti depressants and am on anti anxiety meds, thankfully I've never been bad enough to be hospitalized but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't happen in the future. Between my job, my kids and my ex wife I'm bombarded with stress.

Sometimes I get up as often as 6 or 7 times a night to pee, i've often wondered how common this is & now i'm finding out. One thing for sure is you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. While this isn't something to share with everyone, you're hardly alone.

Metoo, I agree with others who have said to NOT tell your urologist that you are a DL. (It's none of his business and has no bearing on your problems with bladder urgency). That would be like me telling my gastroenterologist that I was a klysmo. He knows that I use enemas to handle my many B.M.'s, due to bowel resection, etc. I don't need to tell him that I also enjoy them: That is too much information.

Your urgency problems seem to be rather serious. I would definitely see a urologist. My urgency problems began when I was still selling medical products to physicians. I would leave Columbus and drive 50 miles north to Mansfield, Oh to call on those Dr.'s. During that drive I would have to make 2-3 emergency stops at gas stations to run in and pee, or I was gonna wet my suit pants. I saw my Fam. Dr. about this and he put me on some medication that helped. Several years later, the urgency seemed to get worse again.

last year I had to see my first urologist for a problem other than urgency. I mentioned to him my bladder urgency and he put me on Flomax and Vesicare. Later, he doubled my dose of Flomax and now, I can sleep through the night and only get up once to void. Doubling that Flomax dose really made a huge difference.

Although I am not a DL, I will wear them before a colonoscopy, cause I will leak the oral PEG solution that they make you drink in preparation for the scoping. I cannot make it through the night without leaking on my bed (and I am leaking fecal liquid). Now, I use diapers to keep my bed from being messed and I've told my gastro. that I use them for that. he is fine with that and understands my problem of having no internal sphincter muscles in my rectum and my leaking. Even if I were a DL, I'd never mention it to him.

Let us know how it all turns out for you and God Bless.

I am a prostate cancer survivor. I have gone from complete incontinence to just wearing a thin Depends Male Shield, which is good for drips and minor stress incontinence. My urologist knows that I wear this pad but I have never confided in him that I am DL.

I've been down that road !! Started having small accidents then bigger ones due to being a diabetic and prostate problems. I can't go anywhere without a diaper & I had to adjust my thinking and soon became secure in them, but would not tell my doctor anything about being secure.

What a good post metoo, I'm not a doctor lover, I didn't go to the doctor unless I was on my death bed before my spinal injury. Since then I have changed my ways. I wouldn't be totally incontinent now if wasn't for my bullheaded way. I was being bullheaded when my pain first started, I couldn't ignore the pain, but I ignored the fact of seeing a doctor for three days. I was just causing more and more damage to my spine injury that caused me to be incontinent.

What i'm trying to say is put your body and life before anything else, having a diaper lover fetish is one thing but your body is trying to tell you something. I would go to get checked out for problems you are having. I dont see the need to tell the doctor's about your fetish unless they question you about it. You may have something small or big going on. Waiting and hoping that it will just go away may cause serious harm just as it did to me. I'm not judging anyone for how they choose to live their life. I call myself a dl and I do enjoy wearing them, however I need them because of my incontinence.

It was after the fact of being in diapers 24/7 for being incontinent that I love wearing them. At least you have a choice of being a dl or being totally incontinent needing them all the time. As for me I've been wearing disposable diapers now for over five years now. If I didn't need to wear them for incontinence then I wouldn't. I have no problems with people's fetishes of any kind, I just ask that you take care of your body no matter how small or big you may think it is. I hope this makes sense and helps you.

Incontinence see your doctor asap. Want to rule out bigger issues. As to DL like any fetish, that is best left in the bedroom and between you and your SO. If you are going to be unwilling to treat though and just want to stick with diapers...Tell your doctor that upfront. That is your right but by nature and profession doctors will try to heal you...Diapers are not a cure. Hope that helps.

Urge Incontince is a tough thing to go through. I have been down that road, however wearing diapers full time is not fun either. I had tried small male like shields, ended up wearing Pampers Size 6 in my underwear to catch any leakage before I get to the washroom. They are thin enough and cheap enough to make it a better option than an adult pull on or full material brief.

I am diabetic and a few years ago i started having problems with getting up at night, at least 5 or 6 times a night, then decided to go back to night time cloth diapers with plastic pants. I gave in an seen a urologist and was diagnosed with urge incontinence and neuropathy. My urologist says at this point there is no cure unless I go through surgery and that it might not work, i told her that I will stick with diapers and the meds since there is no sure cure. I now wear diapers nightly and away from home, when i'm away for several hours in the day time it really doesn't bother me as I have been a diaper lover since a very early age, since I was punished for bed wetting by my aunt after my mom died when I was 7 yr. old.

That is how mine started then wet my pants some my wife urged me to return to diapers to keep her dry due to being a diabetic.